All posts tagged identity

A Journey to Brother Love, Part 1

Breaking the generational pattern of abandonment is not easy, but there is Light and Hope along the way. Where is your healing journey leading you?

Journeys To Mother Love

With my father and brothers in 1996

Recently a new pathway of healing opened up to me: a “journey to brother love.”

My father married many times and had children from multiple wives—my siblings being the last. I grew up knowing about an older half-sister, but never met her. I didn’t know about a half-brother I had until 18 years ago when my father reunited with him after 52 years of separation.

I was in my early 30s, just starting my own family when my father called to tell me about my half-brother. It was an ‘Oprah’ type story of amazing coincidences that led to their reunion.

I felt like my world had been turned upside down.

My father invited me and another sibling to meet him. The half-brother lived across country and was making a trip to our area. I eagerly obliged, or maybe obeyed is a better word. This…

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English Additions to “Walking My Mother Home” Available

As I mentioned in my announcement about the E-book of “Walking My Mother Home,” it was a writing dream come true for me to publish my story in Spanish. I wanted it to be a complete book, with Preface, Foreword, etc. So I had to write those additional English pieces in order to have them translated into Spanish.

Writing the Additions

In my quest to determine how best to compile a more complete E-book, I researched the parts of a book, and reviewed books by some of my favorite authors and published friends. My writing plopped me right back into the throes of my story—the grief, the joy, and the miraculous way that God has been tying this season of my life all together. And it was all beautifully orchestrated in time to share on my mission in Spain (and the church in Rivas).

Printing Spanish copies of Walking My Mother Home.

It was also especially poignant for me to share it with my Spanish family while there. Last year, I left them with a signed copy of Journeys to Mother Love. It was more a symbolic and sentimental gesture than anything else because most of the family couldn’t read it. However, while I was in Spain last week, I had copies of the Spanish book printed and bound. I personalized and signed each one for family members. My only disappointment was that I couldn’t give the books to them personally.

‘Foreword’ Thinking

When it came to determining who would write the Foreword that was an easy decision. It had to be Pedro. We had that discussion a few years ago. I was getting ready to work on my memoir in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).

In doing other writing research, I came across references to the movie “Finding Forrester” as a good writer’s story. It is about a writing relationship between Forrester, a Pulitzer Prize author (played by Sean Connery), and his unlikely protégé, Jamal. The ending scene of the movie spoke volumes to me. Watch the first two minutes of the scene to see why, Letter to Jamal.

“Jamal: Opens the letter.
Forrester: Dear Jamal, Someone I once knew wrote that we walk away from our dreams afraid that we may fail or worse yet, afraid we may succeed. You need to know that while I knew so very early that you would realize your dreams, I never imagined I would once again realize my own. Seasons change young man, and while I may have waited until the winter of my life, to see the things I’ve seen this past year, there is no doubt I would have waited too long, had it not been for you.”

Role reversal, Pedro signing the Foreword of my personal copy of the book.

I found Ardis in the process of coming alongside my mother as she prepared to leave this earth, and in my relationship with my Spanish family. Pedro was a big catalyst in my following my writing dreams back then. Like Forrester’s posthumous request to Jamal, I knew that someday Pedro would write my Foreword. I told him then of my desire, not knowing how or when the right time or context would present itself. Now was God’s perfect timing. (Muchas gracias, Pedro!)

I’d Like to Thank…

The other part of these additional writing pieces that I am excited about publishing are my acknowledgments to those who made publishing my story possible. The list of names was too long to detail and translate on the page, but if you were a close part of my life during the writing process, you know you have my gratitude for your prayers and encouragement. (You know who you are.) Below is an excerpt of my acknowledgements:

First and foremost, I thank God for prompting me to write and submit this story for publishing. He healed me, and He gets the credit. He is using my pain for His glory and I am eternally grateful for that.

Second, I am indebted to the bi-lingual expertise and selfless donation of time and energy by Oscar Farfan (Saddleback Church, CA) for the Spanish version. I am grateful for his making this story available to a new audience of readers, and for having it ready in time for release while on my Celebrate Recovery mission in the fall of 2014.

I am also grateful to:

Cathy Lawton, publisher at Cladach Publishing, for seeing the value in this story, accepting it and granting me permission to translate it into other languages.
My Celebrate Recovery community at Pine Lake Covenant Church, for their steadfast support throughout the writing process and for approval of the CR mission to Europe.
My prayer partners, mentors and pastors who encouraged and supported my healing and writing journey.
My Spanish family, especially Rosa, Rafa, and Pedro, for extending their friendship and love across cultural, language, and religious differences, and for being such an integral part of my healing process.
My husband and sons, for their patience, understanding, and love as I pursued my writing dreams and the call into missions.

Book Dedication

Finally, I dedicated my story to someone who without their acceptance of me and my friendship would not have put the healing steps into motion. It is to Rosa, Pedro’s mother.

The Complete Story

So today, it is with great pleasure that I am sharing those additional pieces to “Walking My Mother Home” in English. If you’ve already read the story, I encourage you to sit back and read it again with the bookends of the Preface, Foreword by Pedro, (then “Walking My Mother Home” from Journeys to Mother Love published by Cladach Publishing) and the Epilogue. You’ll be glad you did. I’ll be including these pieces with each book that I sell from now on.

PREFACE to Walking My Mother Home

FOREWORD to Walking My Mother Home

EPILOGUE to Walking My Mother Home

May this story inspire you on your journey and turn your healing into hope.

3 Comments

by ardisanelson on October 22, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Identity, My Spanish Connection, My Writing Journey, Relationships & Family

Tagged following your dreams, friendship, gifts, God's timing, hope, identity, memoir writing, My Spanish Connection, publishing, relationships, Spain, writing

Posted by ardisanelson on October 22, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/10/22/additions-walking-my-mother-home/

Reflections on a Writing Journey

This week marked the 2-year anniversary of the release of my story, “Walking My Mother Home,” in Journeys to Mother Love. It passed without any promotional fanfare. Except for one or two friends, I didn’t even mention it in passing. However, as I age, these sorts of milestones seem to carry an emotional marker that internally surfaces and causes me to pause and take note of their significance. So naturally, as a writer, I am writing about it…

Toasting to the release of Journeys to Mother Love, August 2012.

So You Want to Write

I could tell you lots about what I learned in these past two years about publishing, yet I’ve only scratched the surface myself in my knowledge. I know the dos and don’ts and the ins and outs of blogging, social media, etc. However, I don’t read much about it anymore. (Michael Hyatt and Chip MacGregor are two of my favorite publishing bloggers.) Instead I have turned my attention to helping and encouraging others in their writing and blogging quests.

Each published author has a very unique story to tell of how they got their first book published—all fraught with rejection and perseverance, and generally being at the right place at the right time. I’ve written about my journey into publishing on my site in the past. (Check out the “My Writing Journey” category on the right sidebar.) Today I’m sharing with my readers how this journey has affected me and why I continue to pursue my writing and publishing dreams.

In sitting down to write this post, a quote by Louise DeSalvo came to mind, from her book Writing as a Way of Healing: “ …if you want to write you must follow your desire to write…if you want to become a writer, eventually you’ll learn through writing—and only through writing…if you want to write and don’t because you don’t feel worthy enough or able enough, not writing will eventually begin to erase who you are.” I wrote about this quote back when I started writing in a post called, Why I Write.

Why I Write

Back then, I did struggle to feel worthy or able enough to write. I can vividly remember my first Christian writer’s meeting I attended with a good friend who was further into her publishing journey (and is now published). It was a bit intimidating to attend that meeting (3 years ago next month), meet authors, and share the intense call I felt to write. The other pre-published and published authors were very encouraging and helpful. So I just dug right in, starting my blog (also 3 years ago next month), buying writing books, subscribing to writing blogs, and becoming a member of the writer’s association, NCWA.

Now writing is an integral part of my life. I CANNOT NOT WRITE. I consider it my ministry for others (my 12^th Step—giving back), but it is also a way I embark on my own self-care. Along the way, my writing has helped to ground me in my faith and to claim my identity as a Child of God. My writing has given me a voice that was long ago minimized and criticized, and it has prevented the ‘erasing’ of who I am.

If you’ve followed me along my blogging journey you may note that there are times when my writing may not seem very inspirational, directly point people to Jesus, or have a purpose other than to document what is on my mind or going on in my life. Regardless, I am a Christian writer—and sometimes it looks like I am a writer who just happens to be a Christian.

After three years, I see most of my life through the lens of a writer; and I love it. It has given me opportunities to regularly write for other venues like my publisher’s site, JourneysToMotherLove.com, and the ministry site where I serve, CelebrateRecoveryOnThePlateau.org. This summer I added guest blogging to the mix for ChristianMommyBlogger.com and UnomaNwankwor.com. (Unoma is the Christian fiction author I met at Pedro’s movie premiere.) I serve as the editor/blog servant for Reclaim Ministries. And finally, my writing also gives me a front row seat to Pedro’s pursuit of his music dreams in the film industry.

So I am continuing to write. I haven’t given up on my dreams of publishing the full-length book, Emerging From the Cocoon (tentative title). At the moment I’m too busy living the sequel (title unknown) and watching as God heals me or others on my path. Most assuredly, the sequel will include my Spanish connection.

Journeys to Mother Love Turns 2

And what about my story, Chapter 8 – Walking My Mother Home, in Journeys to Mother Love? In a nutshell, it remains the foundation of my message, my healing, and why I write. It was my first born baby and my love child.

This second year hasn’t been about marketing and selling it so much as it has been about sharing the story in the right context. And sometimes it was about giving it away to people who made an impact in my life over the years. My story continues to be a vehicle for me to show others the love of our heavenly Father and how when we embrace healing and forgiveness, Jesus turns it into Hope.

Having said that, I’m happy to announce that I will be giving it away in bigger ways very soon. But the details of that announcement will have to wait until another time.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with a gallery of authors and recovery contacts who recently acquired my book while in LA. My hope is always that my story inspires them as their writing and teaching has inspired me.

Cheryl Baker, co-founder of Celebrate Recovery

Jana O’Guin, Director CR International

Dr. John Townsend

Dr. Henry Cloud

Thanks to everyone who has purchased my book, written a review, sent me a personal note, subscribed to my blog, liked my Facebook page, or supported my writing through prayer and other means. It has meant the world to me.

God has turned my healing to hope…just like He will yours.

A Question of Sanity: Mental Health & the Church

A week after the sad news that actor and comedian Robin Williams took his own life, the shock has worn off. His suicide has brought a lot of talk to the forefront about mental health issues. That’s about the only good that can really be said about something as tragic as this.

Questioning Our Sanity

It also goes to show that you never know what will drive a person to take such a drastic and irrevocable act. I’ve had moments in my own life when I’ve wondered how I was going to get through another day. I’ve also had periods of severe depression and questioning my own sanity.

In those dark moments, what has made the difference is my relationship with Jesus. I long to be with Him, but not at the expense of what it would cause my family. That is what I think in my rational moments.

When you suffer with mental illness or depression it is easy to get caught up in negative thinking and feeling like there is no way out.

Over the past few years since the healing of my mother wound, I’ve become free of a lot of the ‘demons’ and internal voices that wanted me to believe I was not sane, too different, too emotional, too whatever.

A Change in Perspective

As I came to understand that some of my own compulsive behaviors were not necessarily defects of character, but were symptoms of my ADHD, I started to give myself more grace. And eventually I turned to medication—something I never could’ve done in the past. I watched what medication did to my mentally ill mother. It scared me and scarred me.

I’ve been on medication for my ADHD for over eight months now. It isn’t a panacea, but it has made a difference in my life. Better yet, my son’s successes with medication for his ADHD have turned his life around. Because of our experiences, I am now a believer in the need for medication. No more white-knuckling it for us.

Mental illness, depression, and yes, ADHD, are real health problems in our society. They have carried a stigma for far too long. Isn’t it time that changed?

Mental Health & the Church

I’ve been blessed to be a participant in and serve in Celebrate Recovery (CR), a Christian 12-step program that helps people deal with their hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Those hang-ups are often thought of as addictions like alcohol and drugs.

Unfortunately, the general public commonly believes that CR is a program for ‘those people.’ Being in CR has shown me that we are all ‘those people’ because we all have some sort of struggle that we need Jesus’ help to overcome—including depression, anxiety, rejection, and struggles with shame and worthiness.

Because of my passion for spiritual and emotional healing and my affiliation with CR, I was particularly pleased to hear about a bigger movement in the Church to address mental health issues. In March 2014, the Gathering on Mental Health and the Church, involving Catholic and Evangelical cooperation, was hosted at Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA.

Celebrate Recovery: A Safe Place to Share

Saddleback Church is also the founding church of Celebrate Recovery, where I recently attended the annual CR Summit. Just as CR has been one of the signature issues at Saddleback, Senior Pastor Rick Warren is also taking on the role of mental health in the church as a signature issue there. And John Baker, founder of CR, is developing new teaching materials to address mental health issues.

I’m excited to see the implementation of this new information in our teaching materials. CR leaders are not trained counselors or medical professionals. As facilitators of spiritual and emotional growth, we are also keenly aware of how emotionally empty, depressed, or alone people can feel when they enter recovery. (We’ve been there ourselves.) We are on the lookout for suicidal tendencies and refer people to the help they need. Our chief focus is to provide a safe place for people to share their struggles, to feel accepted, and to know that they are not alone.

Depression feeds on isolation.

After a personal testimony was shared at the conference in March, Pastor Rick Warren commented to the presenter: “Your chemistry in your brain is not your character and your illness is not your identity. You are a follower of Christ who struggles with mental illness, but your struggle does not define you… Jesus defines you.”

Overcoming that kind of stigma and identity struggle is just one of the ways Jesus shows up through the ministry of Celebrate Recovery. It gives hope to the hopeless.

Looking for a Celebrate Recovery program in your area? Click here to find a meeting near you.

For more information about Celebrate Recovery or to read recovery related blog topics, check out CelebrateRecoveryOnThePlateau.org.

2 Comments

by ardisanelson on August 21, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Healing & Recovery, Identity

Tagged 12 step, adapting to change, addictions, Celebrate Recovery, God, healing, hope, identity, mental health, relationships, Robin Williams, struggle

Posted by ardisanelson on August 21, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/08/21/a-question-of-sanity-mental-health-the-church/

A Letter on Leaving the Nest

For the parents whose children have recently left the nest…and to their children as well.

Journeys To Mother Love

He’s gone…my firstborn child graduated from college last month. Then we packed up his belongings and settled him into an apartment 500 miles from home.

The last several weeks have been a frenzy of activity, including his 21^st birthday. I had glimpses of the emotion that I knew would come. But none was as surprising as the wave that hit me when my son returned a letter to me I had written him when he left for college almost four years ago.

We were cleaning out his room, sorting what to take with him, what to keep at home, and what to get rid of. He isn’t the sentimental type and asked me if I wanted to keep the letter. Naturally I agreed. While his focus and attention remained on sorting his belongings, I snuck away to read the letter…and the tears came.

I was surprised by the things I…

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In Search of a Mother’s Love

There is a hunger inside of me sometimes. We are all born with it—the desire for love and relationship. From an early age we are taught in life how and who fills that need. It is generally filled by our parents. In most cases, the responsibility falls on the mother. But what if that mother isn’t equipped to take on that role or isn’t capable of bonding with the child? What happens to the inner need?

The Longing for Love

The need doesn’t go away; we just find other ways to fill that emptiness and hunger for love and relationship—in either healthy or unhealthy ways. I didn’t know that or understand the affects that my mother’s mental illness had on me until about ten years ago when my unhealthy ways of relating and compulsive behaviors finally caught up with me.

I’ve done a lot of healing work and spiritual growth in that last decade. I now serve in a ministry where I can come alongside others who are also struggling with the hurts from the past and seeing themselves as God sees them. Even though I know with my whole heart that Jesus came to give me life and ultimately fill my need for love, there are still times when life can get me down.

I still have a longing to be known and to know others. It is a longing for deep relationship. It is the search for a mother’s love that was lost.

Looking for Love

I’ve lived my whole life this way—being self-sufficient without close siblings and without involvement and emotional attachment from my parents. I didn’t know what I was missing because I didn’t experience it. Now, after a decade of healing and recovery work, I know. I know because I have started to more intensely experience the loss of the women in my life who helped me to heal.

When I started recovery, I had virtually no female friends—only a few through work. I didn’t know how to be a real friend. As I started my recovery journey, I observed real authentic vulnerability in other women. I was hungry for that. I let down my walls and embraced this new way of relating. There was freedom gained by not being a secret or thinking that I was the only one who experienced that depth of pain.

Those bonds formed felt sacred to me. They became my mother, my sisters and my daughters. Those relationships have been hard to let go of over the years. Insert the ever increasing presence of social media, and I begin to wonder who my friends really are. Do I want quality in my relationships or do I want quantity? I choose quality, but that has its cost too, as it’s hard to fit in the time to maintain the intimacy.

Missing my Mother

Mother’s Day 2014 marks four years since I last saw my mother alive. Her passing and end of life forgiveness poured love back into me in a whole new way—her love and God’s love. And still the loss of never getting to know her as a person keeps me searching at times for the love and mentoring of a mother. My inner child (my little Ardis) still longs for my real mother’s love.

I wish I could’ve had more time with her. She’s generally not far away though. If I slow down long enough to look for her, she stares back at me in the mirror, smiles, and tells me that she loves me. The knowledge and hope that I will see her again in eternity makes the longing fade into the distance once more.

May your Mother’s Day be filled with the love of your family or other important people in your life.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

9 Comments

by ardisanelson on May 6, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Healing & Recovery, Identity

Tagged adapting to change, dealing with disappointment, friendship, grieving our losses, healing, identity, inner child, letting go, mother love, Mother's Day, relationships, Sisters in Christ, struggle, wounds of the past

Posted by ardisanelson on May 6, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/05/06/in-search-of-a-mothers-love/

Fellowship Fridays Featured Post & Book Giveaway

Earlier this year I decided to start adding my posts to ‘link-up parties’. Link-ups are opportunities for bloggers to share their writing to a wider audience of readers with similar interests. I’ve noticed that some bloggers share their posts on lots of sites every week. I personally don’t know how they do that. It’s a lot of work–if you follow the rules–which include linking to the host blogger’s post, reading other posts on the list, and writing a comment related to the post.

Anyway, I chose two sites that most closely matched my faith values and also exposed me to good writing from Christian women. One of those sites was Christian Mommy Blogger (Fellowship Fridays).

A Welcome Connection

A few days ago I got a welcome email from Julie at ChristianMommyBlogger.com. My post from the previous week so resonated with her that she chose to feature it on her blog. Her email in turn connected with me as she referenced attending the Triduum services at her church during Holy Week–something I’ve also done for the last few years. And so a kindred spirit was found online.

Sometimes all it takes is that one connection, that one opportunity to reach out to someone, to risk being known, and to be vulnerable. It’s not an easy thing to do. When I do, the rewards can be great.

Julie’s decision to feature my post made my heart leap for joy because I knew that God was giving me confirmation to keep blogging. He also reminded me that my call to write is not about being featured this week or maybe next. It is still for an audience of One.

Last week Julie was blessed by something God laid on my heart to write. Who knows who it will be next week. Maybe it will be you.

Fellowship Fridays Feature Post

Here is an excerpt from Julie’s post:

Today’s featured post is Holy Week, Holy People. It was written by Ardis Nelson and posted on her blog, Making Me Bold. She linked it up last week on Fellowship Fridays 18. As I read it, all I could do was nod my head as I received in her written words, confirmation of what was preached during the Good Friday service at my church.

On Good Friday, I was brought to my knees by that stark brutality with which Jesus’ humanity was assaulted in a failed attempt to blot out his divinity. In the sermon, our pastor sought to make sense along with all of us of this hugely incomprehensible sacrifice. And he said, “Jesus could follow through with God’s will for His life because Jesus knew who He was and he knew whose He was.”

Identity. Purpose. Faith.

Just as Jesus had those and they enabled Him to lay down His life for us; we have those to help us work out our faith in the here and now.

When I read Ardis’ post this week, I was nodding because she touched on identity, purpose and faith in her post. Read it! You’ll be so glad you did! When I got to this sentence in her post, my eyes just welled with tears: “As you enter into these last few days of Holy Week, remember who you are, and whose you are.”

Just as the pastor’s words struck me on Friday; Ardis’ words echoed and confirmed that sentiment for me. As I hope it does for you! And I think Ardis’ words will stay with me not just in the echoes of the Easter season, but all year round. Some would call this a coincidence; but as Ardis told me in a message: “Coincidences? I think not! God is good to align these connections for His will and His ways.”

I couldn’t agree more! It’s not a coincidence! It’s not a coincidence even that you’re all here reading this post. And it’s not a coincidence that you share the love of God with others through your blogs and through your lives. Thank you Ardis for sharing this post and touching our lives in this way! Read more about Ardis here. And check out her book, Journeys to Mother Love!

Enter to Win

In honor of Julie’s selection of my post on Christian Mommy Blogger, I’m giving away a free autographed copy of Journeys to Mother Love. Comment below or in the comments on my featured post, Holy Week, Holy People to be entered in the drawing. You can also ‘like’ my Facebook page or subscribe to my blog (in the right sidebar). One entry for each that you do–up to three entries total. Entries close on midnight PST on Sunday, 5/4/14, just in time for Mother’s Day. (Shipped only to U.S. addresses.)

2 Comments

by ardisanelson on April 28, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, My Writing Journey

Tagged Christianity, Easter, friendship, Holy Week, hope, identity, Journeys to Mother Love, relationships, writing

Posted by ardisanelson on April 28, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/28/fellowship-fridays-featured-post-book-giveaway/

A Lenten Journey Surprise

As I’ve done the last few years, I prepared for Easter with a Lenten fast from alcohol and sweets. What was different this year was that much to my surprise my 16-year-old son decided to observe a fast as well.

How it all Began

About the same time that Lent began, my son and I started a new bedtime routine. We read a daily devotional and then prayed together. On the evening of Ash Wednesday, he asked me about the ashes on my forehead which led to a conversation about Lent. (By the way, observing Lent, or Ash Wednesday, is not exclusively for Catholics as some mistakenly believe.)

The next day after school he announced he was giving up video games for Lent! My heart leapt for joy at his sacrificial offering. I don’t remember what I said that night. I didn’t ask him about giving anything up himself. When he told me his decision the next day, he was excited.

My husband and I have had discussions with our son about the amount of time he spends on video games in the past. Sometimes those discussions turned pretty heated, and he’d lose his gaming privileges. We’ve also suggested alternative ways of using his leisure time. Nothing else ever seemed to interest him.

My son’s video game collection–and that’s not even all of it!

However, as Lent started my son was excited to share his choice—and even recognized how hard it would be. Those first few days he admitted to me that his thoughts would turn to gaming. He learned to turn his attention elsewhere — sometimes to God, and other times to his studies. Those thoughts diminished over time.

The End of the Journey

As the 40-day journey grew closer to Holy Week, we talked about what he would do after Easter. Would he return to his old gaming behavior? Would he continue his fast? I shared with him my previous Lent experiences—ranging from returning to immediate gratification with candy on Easter Sunday to abstaining for a prolonged period. He has opted to return in moderation.

What excites me about this year’s pilgrimage to Easter is not so much that he stopped gaming, it’s that he (and us together) started a great ritual of connecting at the end of the day. I would often forget, and he’d remind me to join him for our devotional and prayer time. He also started reading the Bible again and occasionally writing in a journal.

My son and our dog, one of his best friends.

In God’s Timing

I know a lot of this is only possible because my son made a decision to try medication again for his ADHD a few months ago. He is a changed person.

The medication has given him access to areas of his brain that before were preventing his behaviors from aligning with his desires. It has allowed him to establish new homework routines, focus on his studies, become more social and succeed in school. In turn, he is now making more adult decisions and able to find a part of his self that was inaccessible before.

I’m very thankful that we went down this road with him. I’m grateful that he persevered over the last few years. I praise God for His timing in all of this (yet again!) and how my son is actively pursuing his relationship with Him. I’m also glad that I was able to model something to him in the past and that he caught that behavior on his own.

Surprised by God

I had hoped that my son would actually write this post for me (another thing we talked about during Lent), but he is busy with his studies. He did, however, quickly volunteered to help with the photos and captions.

When I asked him what he’d like to share about his Lenten Journey, he said, “It was a beneficial experience for me. It helped me to know God better and do well in school.” That’s a lot to get out of a 16-year-old who is filled with new hope and finding his way in life.

As far as my fast, I’m still abstaining—for now. I’m embracing the joy of getting to know my son in a deeper way. That was my Lenten surprise.

Did God surprise you on your journey toward Easter? I’d love to hear your story.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

6 Comments

by ardisanelson on April 24, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, Relationships & Family, Spiritual Growth

Tagged adapting to change, ADD/ADHD, Catholic, Christianity, Easter, family, fasting, God's timing, gratitude, Holy Week, hope, identity, leaving a legacy, Lent, prayer, sacrifice, spiritual journey

Posted by ardisanelson on April 24, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/24/a-lenten-journey-surprise/

Orphaned or Adopted? ~ Reflections on Easter Sunday

Do you feel orphaned or adopted? Take another look at the meaning behind Easter for an answer to God’s plan for your family.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

Journeys To Mother Love

We all have parents, whether we physically knew them or not. In my case, I knew both of my parents, growing up in a home where they both lived until I was nine. It was at that point that they divorced. My mother, my two brothers and me moved 2,000 miles away so we could be near my mother’s relatives.

Saying goodbye that day to my father on the plane was a very painful experience. It was back in the day when non-ticketed friends and family could go beyond the security check-point at the airport. My father walked us all onto the plane and paid special attention to me. Through my tears I could hear him reassuringly say, “Everything is going to be ok. You need to be a big girl now and take care of your mother.”

That was not my first taste of abandonment, but it’s the one…

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by ardisanelson on April 21, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity

Tagged Christianity, Easter, encouragement, family, God, hope, identity, relationships

Posted by ardisanelson on April 21, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/21/orphaned-or-adopted-reflections-on-easter-sunday/

Holy Week, Holy People

Holy Week—the pinnacle of the Christian faith. It starts with Palm Sunday—the remembrance of Jesus’ entrance to Jerusalem on a donkey while surrounded by crowds cheering ‘Hosanna’. It ends on Easter Sunday, with the Good News of the empty tomb. He is risen! In between is the story of sacrificial love and gruesome suffering that led to the exchanged lives that Believers in Christ receive.

Faith Matters

It is not unusual for my mind to be on matters of Christian faith. I am not a trained pastor. I haven’t attended seminary. I don’t pretend to be a religious scholar. So why would I spend time on Holy Week sitting down to write a post about it?

It is because FAITH matters! And YOU matter to God!

If you are anything like me, you may not have grown up believing that, or maybe you still have doubts about it to this day. The root of that doubt doesn’t lie with God. It lies to a large degree with the formation of your identity as a young child and your family of origin.

Childlike Faith

In Luke 18:16-17, Jesus says “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

Was Jesus excluding adults in His Kingdom? No, He was reminding us of the innocence of a child. He was telling us to trust—a characteristic that we often lose in childhood due to shame, disappointments, emotional wounds, abuse, etc. This mistrust or absence of innocence can be brought on by a traumatic incident and sudden loss, or may be due to negative messages that over time we integrate into our souls as unworthiness. With those kinds of identity messages being heaped on us at an early age it’s no wonder we reject God or don’t believe we are who He says we are. (I know because I have struggled with that myself.)

Who Are We?

We are Holy People!

Hard to believe? Then consider the standard you are using to determine the validity of that statement. Are you believing the father of all lies, the devil (John 8:44)? Or maybe you are comparing yourself to the Heroes of the Faith praised in Hebrews 11.

Are you saying, “I’m no Moses”, or “I don’t have faith like Abraham?” These Fathers of our Faith ended their lives well, but they had many sinful acts in their lifetimes. Moses murdered an Egyptian and fled to Midian (Exodus 2). Out of fear for his own safety, Abraham passed off his wife Sarah, as his sister, allowing a king to take her as his wife (Genesis 12). These heroes of our faith were broken people who failed, but God still used them, just like He uses us.

Proof of our Holiness

How can we consider ourselves holy? Romans 10:9 says, ^“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Jesus sacrifice was the price to make us holy in God’s eyes. God doesn’t see our sins anymore. We are the ones who condemn ourselves and continue to act like or believe we are unworthy.

Still having a hard time seeing yourself as holy—or that God would consider you holy? I grew up thinking (mistakenly so, by the way) that saints were only those people who were canonized by the Catholic Church. However, there are many verses in the Bible that reference God’s people as saints. For instance, Paul uses the term saints over and over again in his greetings to the New Testament churches. When our time comes to leave this life, Psalm 116:15 tells us: Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints (New King James Version).

As we celebrate Easter, remember who you are, and whose you are. Your holiness was paid for with a price. The proof is in the empty tomb. He is risen indeed!

8 Comments

by ardisanelson on April 17, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity

Tagged Catholic, Christianity, Easter, faithful, feeling defeated, God, grace, Holy Week, hope, identity, Identity Crisis:Reclaim the True You, Lent, lies, sacrifice, Satan, Tamara J Buchan, trusting God

Posted by ardisanelson on April 17, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/17/holy-week-holy-people/

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I'm an author, writer, speaker, mentor & mom. I've struggled to find my voice all my life as I lived in the shadows of a mother with mental illness. Thankfully that was not the legacy that she handed down to me. It took a lot of recovery and deep healing work to rise above it.

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