All posts tagged family

Can we Talk?

I have a lot on my mind these days as I go through some major parenting milestones with my first born child leaving the nest. (No more wake-ups!) May the Lord be with him and your children as they prepare to launch.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

Journeys To Mother Love

My two sons. The younger one always looked up to his older brother.

I feel an incredible urge to sit and chat—to talk with my close friends and to talk to my mother. But none of that is really possible these days—especially since my mother passed away over three years ago.

I am in a rush, rush, rush to the finish line. No, it’s not the race for the prize, the eternal crown, that is referenced in 1 Corinthians 9:24-25. It is the finish line to the day my oldest child moves away from home to another state—only six more wake-ups.

Yesterday started my internal mother clock with the memories of what my son has gone through to get to this point in time. His first college graduation ceremony was last night. (He is attending a large state university where they hold separate ceremonies for your major as well…

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When it’s Time to Let go of Our Children

There’s a pain in my heart—not just figuratively, but physically too. My first-born child is moving away after he graduates from college next month. I’ve known for a few months, but it hit me in a new way recently—something I wasn’t prepared for.

Easter Family Time

We had a wonderful time on Easter with my son home from college for the day. We went to church together as a family. We shared our meals together. We talked on and off during the day about his post-graduation moving plans—buying a car, renting a moving van, and looking at apartments online.

It was all very official and business-like. The project manager in me was running wild thinking of all the tasks to do before the official moving day.

While my husband was taking our son back to school, I tucked our other son into bed. We reflected on his older brother’s eminent departure. That was when it hit me—and the pain started. It is an uneasiness that hovers over my heart and tells me to pay attention to what my body is trying to say. It was the first signs of my need to let go.

Living in Uncharted Territory

I’ve lately felt like I am living my life in uncharted territory. My parents both passed away in recent years, more than forty years after their divorce. More than that though is because I didn’t get much guidance from them in my formative years. I was never close to them and my teenage years were rather rebellious. I never really knew what it was like to live in a normal home with two loving parents.

My alma mater

When I left for college at the tender age of seventeen, I didn’t give my mother’s feelings much thought. I just wanted to be out on my own and away from my dysfunctional home environment—one that included an alcoholic stepfather and an unstable and mentally ill mother.

The only extended return home from school was for the holidays my freshman year. There was a fire in my bedroom while I was away at college that first semester. The belongings I left at home were ruined. It was a startling homecoming gift. That was the final straw for me. Goodbye, family!

Turning the Tables

Now the tables are turned. My son is moving away—not just to the university in the city 25 minutes away. He is moving out of state—a short one-hour flight or eight-hour road trip by car. We are packing up his belongings and saying goodbye. He is starting his own life in another state—without any friends or family nearby.

I know our present home environment doesn’t compare to the chaos and emotional unrest that I experienced in my youth. But I also know what it is like to be young and ready to leave the nest.

My son is ready. He is mature. He has done well in school. We are very proud of him.

Letting Go Well

As my heart ached on that evening, I also wondered what it was like for my mother when I left home. Did she care? Did she yearn for me? She wrote me lots of letters while at college. I didn’t appreciate those either.

It is hard to look at myself with this new lens—the one who is letting go of her first-born child. I don’t like what I see—how I treated my mother.

I want to let go well. I don’t want to be like my mother. I don’t want to be a clingy mom either. Like I said, I am living in uncharted territory. I don’t have the answers, but I do recognize the warning signs.

It is time to let go again.

This post is shared with Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays.

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by ardisanelson on May 21, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Relationships & Family

Tagged adapting to change, childhood memories, college, family, fear, letting go, parenting, relationships, saying goodbye

Posted by ardisanelson on May 21, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/05/21/when-its-time-to-let-go-of-our-children/

It’s a Small, Small World

The first time I went to Disneyland was as an adult with my husband. Even though we didn’t have kids at the time, we did venture into Fantasy Land and ride one ride: It’s a Small World.

At ‘It’s a Small World’, April 2003.

It’s a Small World, the Ride

I know that people love that song and that ride, but after listening to that song repeat over and over again throughout the ride, I couldn’t get the music out of my head—even though I wanted too. (It’s no wonder; the ride was over ten minutes long.). Despite that I did make a sacrifice to my mental health and take my kids on the ride on a future trip to Disneyland.

The 50^th anniversary of the opening of that ride was earlier this year. Not that I follow those sorts of things, but I ran into someone who actually worked behind the scenes on that ride at Disneyland. She was so excited about the anniversary. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it didn’t conjure up pleasant memories for me. Below is a short video marking the 50^th anniversary.

Spanish Connections Abound

All of this is just fodder for what I really wanted to write about. In all seriousness, it really is a small, small world. It has become that way for me anyway over the last few years. Of course, I am referring to my Spanish connection.

It seems that after Pedro entered our lives in 2010, references to Spain kept crossing my path. Suddenly I would notice people speaking Spanish around me or run into someone who just returned from Spain.

Hanging out at a local Starbucks

Case in point, just a few months ago while sitting in a Starbucks and reading an email from Rosa, Pedro’s mother, I noticed two women sitting next to me who were speaking Spanish.

I was having a hard time deciphering some words in Rosa’s letter. She sends them to me in English (via an online translator), but sometimes the Spanish words don’t translate. So I decided to introduce myself to these ladies and ask for help. I’m so glad I did.

One woman obliged to explain the translation to me. In turn I proceeded to get a better understanding of the language and why that particular word couldn’t be translated by the app—even when I tried. She was from Southern Spain, where I traveled last summer, so we talked about that a bit. It was wonderful to have this small connection over the country that I now hold so dear to me.

Evan heads to Spain!

Valencia Bound

The world got even smaller for me recently though when my Spanish connections proceeded to intersect with my oldest son, Evan. He won a trip to Valencia, Spain on the ‘Magic The Gathering’ Pro Tour, where he would be participating in their next international tournament. That was when my real Spanish connections came in handy.

Last summer while living and traveling with Pedro’s family, I met some of their family and friends who live in Valencia. I didn’t travel there myself, but we all met on the island of Mallorca where the family goes on holiday. These Valencian friends and family spoke very little English or none at all. Unfortunately that limited my direct conversations with them, but we did spend time together on daily outings to the beach or at parties.

Our daily beach hang-out with my Spanish friends on Mallorca.

Language barrier aside, I proceeded to communicate with my Spanish friends with the use of an online translator, like I do with Rosa, and told them of my son’s upcoming travels to Valencia. These people graciously showed my son around Valencia, took him out to eat, and even invited him to a family birthday celebration at a farm home outside of town.

I was tickled pink to receive photos via Whatsapp (free international texting app) of my son’s time with them. The only disappointment I had with all of this is that Evan and Pedro couldn’t connect. Evan traveled through Madrid and had a long layover, but their schedules just didn’t coincide.

A Taste of Valencia, Spain

Since my travels to Spain last summer (and those numerous posts), I’ve now learned how to showcase my photos more in my posts. One of these days I hope to go back and insert more photos on those posts or write about those places specifically. (It is quite an archive of over 5,000 photos.)

I’m pleased that I can now share some of my son’s photos from his adventure in Spain. Special thanks go to my Spanish family for immersing my son in their culture and for their generous hospitality.

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Is it really a small, small world? Or is it because we have such a big, big God? I’ll let you decide for yourself. I’m just pleased that my world keeps getting smaller and the possibilities greater.

A Journey to Stepmother Love

Mother Love comes in many ways, shapes and sizes: birth moms, adopted moms, foster moms, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, and girlfriends. For me, it unexpectedly came from a stepmother that I didn’t openly embrace from the start. Here’s a bit of that story on my publisher’s blog, journeystomotherlove.com. Happy Mother’s Day!

Journeys To Mother Love

I was nine years old when my parents divorced. I’ll never forget that day. After hearing the news, I ran into the woods behind our house and cried my eyes out. “Why? Why? Why?” I cried to God.

Those repressed memories surfaced a while back in a therapy session as I got in touch with the little Ardis who was hurting from the trauma of this event. I’ve processed this before, but this time I remembered something new. I remembered that I told my father I hated him. It became one of those pivotal moments in my life when I decided I had to be a BIG girl and stuff my emotions.

I surfaced from those woods, calm and collected. I WAS a big girl. But try as I might, that anger at what was going on between my parents was still there. Both of my parents soon remarried. I lived…

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A Lenten Journey Surprise

As I’ve done the last few years, I prepared for Easter with a Lenten fast from alcohol and sweets. What was different this year was that much to my surprise my 16-year-old son decided to observe a fast as well.

How it all Began

About the same time that Lent began, my son and I started a new bedtime routine. We read a daily devotional and then prayed together. On the evening of Ash Wednesday, he asked me about the ashes on my forehead which led to a conversation about Lent. (By the way, observing Lent, or Ash Wednesday, is not exclusively for Catholics as some mistakenly believe.)

The next day after school he announced he was giving up video games for Lent! My heart leapt for joy at his sacrificial offering. I don’t remember what I said that night. I didn’t ask him about giving anything up himself. When he told me his decision the next day, he was excited.

My husband and I have had discussions with our son about the amount of time he spends on video games in the past. Sometimes those discussions turned pretty heated, and he’d lose his gaming privileges. We’ve also suggested alternative ways of using his leisure time. Nothing else ever seemed to interest him.

My son’s video game collection–and that’s not even all of it!

However, as Lent started my son was excited to share his choice—and even recognized how hard it would be. Those first few days he admitted to me that his thoughts would turn to gaming. He learned to turn his attention elsewhere — sometimes to God, and other times to his studies. Those thoughts diminished over time.

The End of the Journey

As the 40-day journey grew closer to Holy Week, we talked about what he would do after Easter. Would he return to his old gaming behavior? Would he continue his fast? I shared with him my previous Lent experiences—ranging from returning to immediate gratification with candy on Easter Sunday to abstaining for a prolonged period. He has opted to return in moderation.

What excites me about this year’s pilgrimage to Easter is not so much that he stopped gaming, it’s that he (and us together) started a great ritual of connecting at the end of the day. I would often forget, and he’d remind me to join him for our devotional and prayer time. He also started reading the Bible again and occasionally writing in a journal.

My son and our dog, one of his best friends.

In God’s Timing

I know a lot of this is only possible because my son made a decision to try medication again for his ADHD a few months ago. He is a changed person.

The medication has given him access to areas of his brain that before were preventing his behaviors from aligning with his desires. It has allowed him to establish new homework routines, focus on his studies, become more social and succeed in school. In turn, he is now making more adult decisions and able to find a part of his self that was inaccessible before.

I’m very thankful that we went down this road with him. I’m grateful that he persevered over the last few years. I praise God for His timing in all of this (yet again!) and how my son is actively pursuing his relationship with Him. I’m also glad that I was able to model something to him in the past and that he caught that behavior on his own.

Surprised by God

I had hoped that my son would actually write this post for me (another thing we talked about during Lent), but he is busy with his studies. He did, however, quickly volunteered to help with the photos and captions.

When I asked him what he’d like to share about his Lenten Journey, he said, “It was a beneficial experience for me. It helped me to know God better and do well in school.” That’s a lot to get out of a 16-year-old who is filled with new hope and finding his way in life.

As far as my fast, I’m still abstaining—for now. I’m embracing the joy of getting to know my son in a deeper way. That was my Lenten surprise.

Did God surprise you on your journey toward Easter? I’d love to hear your story.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

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by ardisanelson on April 24, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, Relationships & Family, Spiritual Growth

Tagged adapting to change, ADD/ADHD, Catholic, Christianity, Easter, family, fasting, God's timing, gratitude, Holy Week, hope, identity, leaving a legacy, Lent, prayer, sacrifice, spiritual journey

Posted by ardisanelson on April 24, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/24/a-lenten-journey-surprise/

Orphaned or Adopted? ~ Reflections on Easter Sunday

Do you feel orphaned or adopted? Take another look at the meaning behind Easter for an answer to God’s plan for your family.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

Journeys To Mother Love

We all have parents, whether we physically knew them or not. In my case, I knew both of my parents, growing up in a home where they both lived until I was nine. It was at that point that they divorced. My mother, my two brothers and me moved 2,000 miles away so we could be near my mother’s relatives.

Saying goodbye that day to my father on the plane was a very painful experience. It was back in the day when non-ticketed friends and family could go beyond the security check-point at the airport. My father walked us all onto the plane and paid special attention to me. Through my tears I could hear him reassuringly say, “Everything is going to be ok. You need to be a big girl now and take care of your mother.”

That was not my first taste of abandonment, but it’s the one…

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by ardisanelson on April 21, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity

Tagged Christianity, Easter, encouragement, family, God, hope, identity, relationships

Posted by ardisanelson on April 21, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/21/orphaned-or-adopted-reflections-on-easter-sunday/

A Love Letter to Mom & Annual Tribute

I’ve come to annually mark the passing of my mother by writing her a letter. This year I was at my annual winter scrapbooking retreat amongst friends—just like I was the day before I got word of my mother’s passing in 2011. Again I was working on my mother’s tribute album.

Setting the Stage to Write

Three years later this scrapbook remains part of my healing process as it retraces my steps before and after she died—the visits back home, meeting with her health care providers, making end-of-life decisions, giving her eulogy, and burying her remains. It is the visual story that was eventually published in Journeys to Mother Love. It is a beautiful tribute album—not necessarily for others’ eyes, but something between my mother and me.

This year the anniversary letter was harder to write than last year. After my arrival at the retreat, I was told that Wanda, the woman who has organized and run these retreats over the years, wasn’t going to be joining us. Her husband who suffered with Parkinson’s had taken a turn for the worse and was put on hospice. His end of life was very near. It hit us all by surprise, and gave us an opportunity to privately lift her in prayer and share our own feelings about this sad turn of events.

For me the timing hit too close to home as our discussion turned to end-of-life decisions and the role women often provide in caring for our loved ones. On the outside I was listening to the conversation, but in my mind I was back at my mother’s side caring for her at the nursing home on one of my visits back home. It was as if my bittersweet memories from before were now being lived out by Wanda and her family. Sadly, her husband passed away a few days later.

Embracing the Grief

It was in that context of grief, that my letter to my mother freely flowed through my fingers to the keyboard, and with it a few well-earned tears. I know my mom can’t physically answer my letter, but something tells me she’ll find a way to let me know she received it.

Below is an excerpt of that letter. I hope it inspires you to do the same for someone you love—past or present—and let your healing turn to hope.

A Love Letter to Mom

“Dear Mom,

I admire your perseverance. You lived a long life. Fate hit you a terrible blow when you suffered your nervous breakdown at the age of 35, and me as well, when I was six. Our journeys to emotional healing both started that day.

Now 48 years later I am approaching mine in a new way, with a different battle plan in place. No more white-knuckling it. I am choosing to take medication (for my ADHD).

…Anyway, Mom, the point of all this is that your passing put all of the pieces together for me to even consider this route for me, and for my son (who also has ADHD). I am now an advocate for him. I am an advocate for myself. I am learning more about ADHD and how to help both of us.

I don’t know what lies ahead for us as we journey down this road on medication. I don’t know what it was like for you. I’m saddened that I never got to talk to you about any of this. I’m saddened that I didn’t get to know you as an adult. I’m saddened I didn’t really get to know you.

But I wanted you to know that as horrible as your life was for so many years after the nervous breakdown, the divorce, in and out of mental hospitals, etc. that it has served to help me to fight for myself and my son now. I am more open to trying and exploring how I can lead a more normal life with the support of medication. I am taking back control of my life and my emotional health.

So I thank you Mom for not leaving me a legacy of mental illness. You left me a gift that I get to integrate into my life. That gift is the gift of perseverance and hope in the Lord through all things.

I know what I am going through is important and life changing. I know there are many others like me who have also suffered in silence as they lived in the shadow of mental illness.

I love you Mom. Thank you for persevering to the end and giving life back to me in the process.

Love,
Ardis”

Peace to you and your family Wanda, from your scrapbooking sisters.

Updated 6/1/2014: Wanda’s husband passed away a few days after the scrapbooking weekend. Through a sad turn of events, Wanda also passed away a few months later. Remembering Wanda is the tribute I wrote to our dear friend and scrapbooking mentor.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

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by ardisanelson on February 19, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Healing & Recovery, Identity, My Writing Journey, Relationships & Family

Tagged encouragement, family, fear, God, gratitude, grieving our losses, healing, hope, identity, Journeys to Mother Love, leaving a legacy, letter writing, love, mother love, saying goodbye, scrapbooking

Posted by ardisanelson on February 19, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/02/19/love-letter-to-mom-annual-tribute/

Leaving a Legacy of Healing

The “Cats in the Cradle” is a 1974 folk song written by Harry Chapin. It tells the story of a father being too busy for his son’s request for time together, and then later when the son is an adult the roles are reversed, with the father wanting to spend time with the son. The words that stand out most in the song are “I’m gonna be like you dad, you know I’m gonna be like you”.

We all want our children to be like us, the good parts of us. This song showcases how our actions speak louder than words and what we model to our children is of utmost importance. It is part of the legacy that we leave them.

I recently contributed a post on the Journeys to Mother Love blog about the legacy we leave for our children. I hope you enjoy it reblogged here.

Leaving a Legacy of Healing.

And if you are not familiar with the song “Cats in the Cradle,” or want to give it another listen, I’ve also included a beautiful version of the song with Harry Chapin’s introductory comments about the song.

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by ardisanelson on January 31, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Healing & Recovery, Relationships & Family

Tagged Christianity, family, healing, hope, leaving a legacy, wounds of the past

Posted by ardisanelson on January 31, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/01/31/leaving-a-legacy-of-healing/

The Little Girl Inside

When I was a little girl, I was captivated by the movie, “The Sound of Music” with Julie Andrews. Although I was only six years old at the time, I loved the music and knew all of the songs by heart. It was one of the few movies I actually got to see in the theater. Soon after its release, my mother had her nervous breakdown and we stopped going to the theater.

1965 movie soundtrack for “The Sound of Music”

Our Home was Alive…with “The Sound of Music”

Pedro, our Spanish host son, played “The Sound of Music” on the piano in our home the first summer we met. His interest in that music along with my love for the movie landed my family at an outdoor theater in the mountainous setting near Leavenworth, WA—a Bavarian themed village. It was a gift for his 17^th birthday and it was a bucket list item for me.

When Pedro played that music in our home, it awakened in me deep feelings from my childhood. My father was a strict disciplinarian. I grew up in fear of his anger and his belt. He didn’t show his love or give us words of encouragement.

Watching “The Sound of Music” as an adult I can almost relate to how the Von Trapp family children were treated—standing at attention at the sound of a whistle, etc. Captain Von Trapp, their father, treated them like they were soldiers in the military, not like his children. When Maria, played by Julie Andrews, entered their lives, play became a normal part of their day.

Ever since my mother died almost three years ago, I have gotten in touch with the part of me that wants to come out and play—the part of me that says it’s ok to laugh, it’s ok to dance, and it’s ok to sing. It’s a part of who I am, but for years thought it meant I was doomed to end up crazy like my mother.

The hills really were alive with the sound of music, Leavenworth, WA

Playtime in Spain

That playful and unabashed side of me turned up in Spain this past summer. I lived it up, maybe more than I should’ve at times, but I didn’t want to have any regrets about this trip of a lifetime.

One of my most precious memories in Spain involved “The Sound of Music”. I lived with my Spanish family in their vacation home on Mallorca, an island off the coast of Spain, for ten days at the end of my trip. I had already broken the ice and felt more comfortable with Pedro’s younger cousins by this time. (See Mothering Inadequacies.)

Sitting on the edge of the pool one afternoon, I watched some of the children swimming and diving. All of a sudden, a few of the girls started to sing “Do Re Mi” in English. I couldn’t believe my ears. These children barely knew any English yet they were singing this wonderful song from the musical.

I took that as my cue to join with the sing-a-long. They did a double take on my cue and delighted in my participation. Unfortunately it was the only song that we both knew in English. Nonetheless, it turned into a fun-filled adventure with them creating a theater (teatro) production with me as their poolside audience.

The stage is set for the children’s poolside theater performance.

Getting in Touch with my Inner Child

In years past, I might not have even noticed the urge to sing with the children. If I did, I would’ve definitely fought it. I felt free in a lot of ways while I was in Spain. Was it because of the love and generosity of this family? Or maybe it was just out of gratitude to my heavenly Father for giving me something so special in this moment of time.

My little girl is slowly being integrated into this adult body that I have. She is learning that it is ok to take risks, to use her voice, to love more fully, and to sing without abandon (in worship or in the privacy of my home or car).

My inner child, circa 1966

I’m giving her lots of room to experience the emotions of a turbulent childhood and to grieve the loss of a mother that she never really knew. My tears and my laughter are a beautiful gift that I am giving myself as I embrace this new season of self-discovery.

What about you? Have you gotten in touch with your inner child lately? Are you experiencing all that God intends for your life? Healing is just around the corner when you invite God into the process.

Though good advice lies deep within the heart, a person with understanding will draw it out. (Proverbs 20:5, NLT)

This post was shared on Create with Joy/Friendship Fridays.

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by ardisanelson on October 22, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Healing & Recovery, My Spanish Connection, Relationships & Family

Tagged childhood memories, family, God, gratitude, grieving our losses, healing, inner child, Julie Andrews, love, My Spanish Connection, Spain, The Sound of Music

Posted by ardisanelson on October 22, 2013

https://ardisanelson.com/2013/10/22/the-little-girl-inside/

España Update 9 ~ Home Sweet Home

Homeward bound—Seattle, Washington. My day of travel started over 16 hours earlier with a bittersweet farewell between me and my Spanish family. Now I was at JFK International Airport in New York after completing two flights, surviving a bomb scare in Madrid, and avoiding an international incident on my transatlantic flight.

Re-checking my Luggage

As I departed the U.S. Customs area with my 100 pounds of luggage, minus the confiscated Iberian ham, I had a decision to make. Do I immediately re-check my baggage for my final flight or do I follow my suspicions and search my luggage to determine if anything was stolen?

Seeing the Starbucks at JFK airport was a welcome reminder that I was almost home.

Why do I think I was robbed? During the inspection by the U.S. Customs agent, I noticed my belongings were strewn around in my suitcase with receipts scattered amongst my clothes. When I packed my suitcase the night before, they were wrapped up in a jewelry bag. The thought of it gave me a sick feeling in my gut.

As I mulled over my options, I followed the crowd and queued up in the line to re-check my baggage. The line was moving swiftly, and it was looming large behind me. Before I knew it, I was at the head of the line. I was so exhausted and emotionally beat up after my Customs experience, I just didn’t have it in me to re-open my suitcase and face my fear. I plopped my suitcases on the conveyor belt and pushed any thoughts about my jewelry and personal belongings being stolen out of my mind.

The Last Leg

Thankfully the layover at JFK was void of any further airport hassles or problems. The time passed quickly as I ate, then emailed, phoned, and texted friends and family while charging my mobile phone. I was exhausted yet thrilled to speak in English and connect with the voices of people I hadn’t communicated with in six weeks.

My flight from JFK to Seattle was uneventful, but it seemed to last for an eternity. The 5½ hour flight was on a Boeing 737 where I was squished like a sardine. Compared to the Airbus A330 from Madrid, I was feeling very claustrophobic, and sleep was very haphazard. I missed the start of the movie and my mind was done with writing after hammering out seven pages on my flights.

Seattle welcoming committee

It was nighttime as the plane descended into SeaTac International Airport. I’d been chasing the sun for the last 24 hours of travel. And now I was watching the city lights of the beautiful Seattle skyline below. “Almost home”, I thought as I fought the tears welling up inside of me.

A Musical Reminder of Spain

On the way to meet my family at the baggage carousel, I made a stop in the ladies room. While in there, I was totally caught off-guard when I heard one of Pedro’s compositions playing. “Oh my gosh,” I thought as my adrenaline spiked through the roof. “How is it possible that his music is playing on the sound system?”

I laughed out loud when I figured out that it was really just the ringtone on my cell phone. I hadn’t heard my phone ring in six weeks. On top of that, I had inadvertently changed my ringtone while in Spain. Laughter aside, it reminded me of the potential of his music and that being broadcast more publicly is just a matter of time. After all, he signed his first contract to compose for an American full feature film while I was in Spain.

Family Homecoming

I was a puddle of tears when I met my family at the baggage claim. I clung to my 16-year old son and hugged him lovingly. “Hola” may have been the first words out of my mouth, but I reverted back to my American hugs versus the European double cheek-kiss that I’d become accustomed to over the last six weeks. I needed those first few lingering hugs from my son and my husband.

Although I was exhausted and more than ready to head to bed, I knew I had a big surprise awaiting me at home. While I was gone in Spain, my home was undergoing a major renovation. My family endured a complete remodel of the kitchen and two bathrooms. They had been putting the finishing touches on the house in time for the big unveiling when I walked in the door. It was a beautiful homecoming gift.

Welcomed home and back to America with a bouquet of flowers and a new kitchen.

Facing my Worst Travel Fear

After a restless night of sleep and an early awakening by the sunlight, I knew I had to face my fear lurking inside my luggage. Was anything stolen from my suitcase? The quick answer to that is yes.

Almost everything was gone from that jewelry bag—nothing of great monetary value, but the pieces were from places I’d traveled in my life that had significance to me. Thankfully I was wearing the necklace Rosa gave me while traveling (the one I reference in my published story). I was also wearing a special charm bracelet that connects me to Rosa. I was relieved when I found out that the thieves missed a second bag of jewelry buried in my clothes and some new jewelry pieces I bought in Spain.

My new Mallorcan pearls survived the theft.

It took me a few weeks of phone calls with the airlines to file a claim and find out that none of my stolen items were covered by insurance. Going through that process was like being robbed and defiled all over again, but it gave me the closure I needed so I could put it all behind me.

Final Travel Thoughts

Returning back to America on day 42 of my travel adventure had nowhere near the excitement I had when I ended my flights in Spain on my first day. There was no adrenaline rush to keep me going—only exhaustion, physical illness, and unpleasant travel memories.

My trip to Spain changed me internally and now it was as if these external factors—a bomb scare, my confiscated Iberian ham, and finally my stolen jewelry—were trying to rob me of my joy and leave me with an unfavorable parting impression of Spain.

These physical events have served as fodder on my blog, but they also have much deeper significance. I hope it serves as a reminder of the choices we have to make when things don’t go the way we expect. We can blame others, ourselves, or even God.

I know that my circumstances don’t define me. It is my identity in Christ that does. While the thieves physically robbed me of my jewelry, my identity in Christ remained intact.

My trip to Spain has changed me in ways I can’t even fully articulate yet—with emotional and spiritual insights and healing. I am being made new and choosing to boldly follow him in the adventure. I hope and pray you will too.

My final day in Spain and the view from my apartment, Port of Soller, Mallorca

~ This completes my “España Update” blog series, but not my intermittent writing about Spain. If this is your first time visiting my blog, you can start reading about my Spanish travels here.

6 Comments

by ardisanelson on October 7, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, My Spanish Connection, My Trip to Spain

Tagged adapting to change, Christianity, educational exchange program, encouragement, family, God, identity, letting go, living abroad, My Spanish Connection, Pedro Gonzalez Arbona, Spain, struggle

Posted by ardisanelson on October 7, 2013

https://ardisanelson.com/2013/10/07/espana-update-9-home-sweet-home/

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I'm an author, writer, speaker, mentor & mom. I've struggled to find my voice all my life as I lived in the shadows of a mother with mental illness. Thankfully that was not the legacy that she handed down to me. It took a lot of recovery and deep healing work to rise above it.

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