Today is a bittersweet day for me and my family. My youngest child will be walking across the stage and receiving his high school diploma. What is so significant to me about this is how he got to this place and time—all of the obstacles he overcame, and how he did it his way.
My son forged his own path to graduation. It wasn’t the same journey as his brother four years earlier, or the way that I had envisioned it over the years.
Like the ending line in the famous poem “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost, my son took the road less traveled. And in so doing, he was a pioneer of the spirit.
My son, a pioneer of the spirit.
Following in his Brother’s Footsteps
In parenting our only other child, his older brother, we got caught up in the competitive race for the coveted prize of his attendance at one of the best engineering schools in the country. Thankfully God had other plans.
Being our first born child, we didn’t know what to expect. When we noticed his giftedness at a very early age, we sought and were granted a waiver to put him in Kindergarten a year earlier than his peers. He ended up settling into the gifted program and taking a rigorous AP and honors course load throughout school. Those choices led him to a few different schools in the district, not our neighborhood school.
When our youngest child entered the school system, we made the tough decision to place him in the elementary school where his brother attended. He also followed his brother into the same extracurricular activities: baseball, piano, and chess. He eventually dropped out of those and developed his love for music by playing the flute, saxophone, and drums.
Once his brother went on to junior high, my youngest son switched schools and attended the school in our neighborhood. It wasn’t long after that we noticed his school difficulties surface. I was not overly concerned, but couldn’t help but wonder, is there something else going on here? It was unfair to compare him to his older brother, and I thought his occasional struggles were more ‘normal.’ Things got worse for him in junior high.
When it came time to go to high school, we decided to check out several of the high schools in the district. He wasn’t interested in the high school his brother attended. The large high school that most students in the neighborhood attended didn’t excite him either.
We attributed some of his school problems with lack of motivation. So we felt it would be better for him to be in a school with smaller classes and a learning environment that more closely matched his interests. A new school had opened up in the district and was accepting students on a lottery basis. This school was specifically geared to a STEM based education (Science Technology Engineering & Mathematics). Living in the high tech corridor of the Seattle Eastside, this was a magnet for local kids, as was proven by the standing room only audience at the information night for this new school.
School Pioneers
Our son was accepted into the STEM school and started in the fall. It was also at this time that the school district was converting middle schools to junior high schools and all high schools to a 4-year format. The STEM school was launched with incoming freshmen and sophomore classes. My son would be in the first graduating class of the school—the class of 2015!
An educational pioneer and future graduate in the class of 2015 at his 2002 pre-school graduation.
These new students were educational pioneers in the district and had to endure some growing pains in the process. For example, while the school building was still under construction the first semester, the school was co-located on the campus of the big neighborhood high school.
It was hard for the students and the school community to define its own culture and identity. With the school half completed, after the Christmas holiday break, the students and faculty moved into their brand new campus and started to create their own academic community.
The course load was rigorous, much like the academic classes that his brother took in high school. From our earliest meetings with the school administration, we and other parents were assured there would be other less rigorous class options for students. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. My son struggled to make it through the first quarter of his sophomore year. We heard stories of kids dropping out of the school and returning to their neighborhood high schools.
Despite my son’s recent diagnosis with ADHD, he wanted to be at this school, and was determined to make it work. There were times along the journey that we had conversations about transferring to another school.
It was a painful decision for all of us. When does the parent have the final say? How do you know what is best for your child? Each time he came back to his desire to stay, accepting that it would be a challenge.
During a recent conversation with my son about his tenure at this school, I asked him if he had to do it all over again what he would do. He acknowledged that going to his neighborhood high school would’ve been a lot easier for him. But he didn’t miss a beat in saying that the STEM school was good for his character development. He wasn’t wrapped up in his GPA or the college competition. He was content that he graduated, made good friends, and was learning more about his abilities.
A Graduation Homecoming
I’m not going to apologize for using my blog to publish a bit about the story of my son’s journey to graduation. I see it as a major milestone in his life. My husband and I are both proud of him, like any parent is of their graduating senior. It is particularly poignant to me because it feels like a joint effort. I know many of my friends and family have prayed for him and us during his high school years. Those prayers made a difference in getting us to this point. (Thank you! You know who you are!)
What I haven’t lost sight of in the process is where his graduation ceremony will take place tonight. It’s not at the school. They don’t have the space for this type of event. The graduation will be held at our church. It was in this same church that my son learned about Jesus, accepted Christ as His Savior, was baptized, and has attended all his life.
It adds to the bittersweet nature of the event for me. And it serves as a reminder that the Lord has been at my son’s side the entire time.
My son is a Pioneer.
He is a STEM Scholar.
He is unique, gifted, and talented in many ways.
He found his own way. He took the road less traveled to do it. To quote Robert Frost again:
…and that has made all the difference.
I’m grateful he did. Congratulations Son!
My son, the flutist, taking the road less traveled.
I have a stack of letters from my mother dating back to my days in college. I have read them from time to time. I didn’t appreciate them much in my youth, but now I have a new lens—one of a mother whose children are leaving the nest and is learning to let go. Her letters comfort me, as I see her love for me in new ways. They keep her memories alive.
More about Verna: Verna Hill Simms, started her writing career at the age of 80 after answering a small ad in her local newspaper to form a writers group. She joined the Jefferson County (Missouri) Writer’s Society, saying it has been one of the best decisions she ever made.
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