“You’re Just Like Your Mother”

Think about this: If someone said, “You’re just like your mother,” would you be embarrassed or delighted? Would you feel shame? Or gratitude? Or something in between? It’s all part of the journey to mother love.

Journeys To Mother Love

Mom's visit Just like my mother: a rare photo of my mother, me and my oldest son, 1996

“You’re just like your mother!” Those words and that fear have been engrained in my mind and my psyche throughout my adulthood. They were like a blemish on my face that screamed for attention every time I got a glance of myself in the mirror. Not literally, but that’s how often the message surfaced.

I didn’t want to be anything like my mother! That comparison brought too much embarrassment, too much shame. After all, she was mentally ill.

My fears started as a teen. Whether you’re an adult (who once was a teen) or the parent of a teen, you know the feelings of embarrassment that can arise. As teens start to separate from their parents, test their independence, and explore who they are, they veer away from parental input and advice. They don’t want…

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4 Comments

  1. I think we all change as we get old.

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    • Yes, we get to view our parents through a different lens as we age. Let’s hope our kids will be as kind to us later on in life. Thanks for commenting!

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      • My baby is only 6 month old and I know she is going to hate me like around 15, and love me again when she enters college, how do I know? I was the same lol

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      • Yes, be prepared for that common byproduct of parenting. I was fortunate to not have my kids hate me (like I did my mother). I think that whatever the relationship we have with our children, it is hard to let them go! So cherish all the coos, smiles, giggles, sleepless nights, and dirty diapers now. They will grow up in the blink of an eye. 🙂

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  • WELCOME to my site!

    I'm an author, writer, speaker, mentor & mom. I've struggled to find my voice all my life as I lived in the shadows of a mother with mental illness. Thankfully that was not the legacy that she handed down to me. It took a lot of recovery and deep healing work to rise above it.

    I am thankful to God for Making Me Bold in the process. Now I use my writing and speaking voice to help others on their journey to turn healing into hope.

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