All posts in category Identity

A Question of Sanity: Mental Health & the Church

A week after the sad news that actor and comedian Robin Williams took his own life, the shock has worn off. His suicide has brought a lot of talk to the forefront about mental health issues. That’s about the only good that can really be said about something as tragic as this.

robin-williams-quoteQuestioning Our Sanity

It also goes to show that you never know what will drive a person to take such a drastic and irrevocable act. I’ve had moments in my own life when I’ve wondered how I was going to get through another day. I’ve also had periods of severe depression and questioning my own sanity.

In those dark moments, what has made the difference is my relationship with Jesus. I long to be with Him, but not at the expense of what it would cause my family. That is what I think in my rational moments.

When you suffer with mental illness or depression it is easy to get caught up in negative thinking and feeling like there is no way out.

Over the past few years since the healing of my mother wound, I’ve become free of a lot of the ‘demons’ and internal voices that wanted me to believe I was not sane, too different, too emotional, too whatever.

stop-the-stigma-of-mental-illnessA Change in Perspective

As I came to understand that some of my own compulsive behaviors were not necessarily defects of character, but were symptoms of my ADHD, I started to give myself more grace. And eventually I turned to medication—something I never could’ve done in the past. I watched what medication did to my mentally ill mother. It scared me and scarred me.

I’ve been on medication for my ADHD for over eight months now. It isn’t a panacea, but it has made a difference in my life. Better yet, my son’s successes with medication for his ADHD have turned his life around. Because of our experiences, I am now a believer in the need for medication. No more white-knuckling it for us.

Mental illness, depression, and yes, ADHD, are real health problems in our society. They have carried a stigma for far too long. Isn’t it time that changed?

Mental Health & the Church

I’ve been blessed to be a participant in and serve in Celebrate Recovery (CR), a Christian 12-step program that helps people deal with their hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Those hang-ups are often thought of as addictions like alcohol and drugs.

depression quoteUnfortunately, the general public commonly believes that CR is a program for ‘those people.’ Being in CR has shown me that we are all ‘those people’ because we all have some sort of struggle that we need Jesus’ help to overcome—including depression, anxiety, rejection, and struggles with shame and worthiness.

Because of my passion for spiritual and emotional healing and my affiliation with CR, I was particularly pleased to hear about a bigger movement in the Church to address mental health issues. In March 2014, the Gathering on Mental Health and the Church, involving Catholic and Evangelical cooperation, was hosted at Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA.

Celebrate Recovery: A Safe Place to Share

Saddleback Church is also the founding church of Celebrate Recovery, where I recently attended the annual CR Summit. Just as CR has been one of the signature issues at Saddleback, Senior Pastor Rick Warren is also taking on the role of mental health in the church as a signature issue there. And John Baker, founder of CR, is developing new teaching materials to address mental health issues.

Your struggle is not identityI’m excited to see the implementation of this new information in our teaching materials. CR leaders are not trained counselors or medical professionals. As facilitators of spiritual and emotional growth, we are also keenly aware of how emotionally empty, depressed, or alone people can feel when they enter recovery. (We’ve been there ourselves.) We are on the lookout for suicidal tendencies and refer people to the help they need. Our chief focus is to provide a safe place for people to share their struggles, to feel accepted, and to know that they are not alone.

Depression feeds on isolation.

After a personal testimony was shared at the conference in March, Pastor Rick Warren commented to the presenter: “Your chemistry in your brain is not your character and your illness is not your identity. You are a follower of Christ who struggles with mental illness, but your struggle does not define you… Jesus defines you.”

Overcoming that kind of stigma and identity struggle is just one of the ways Jesus shows up through the ministry of Celebrate Recovery. It gives hope to the hopeless.

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Looking for a Celebrate Recovery program in your area? Click here to find a meeting near you.

For more information about Celebrate Recovery or to read recovery related blog topics, check out CelebrateRecoveryOnThePlateau.org.

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by ardisanelson on August 21, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Healing & Recovery, Identity
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Posted by ardisanelson on August 21, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/08/21/a-question-of-sanity-mental-health-the-church/

Fairy Tales do Come True

I’m going to the ball!!! I’ve dreamed of this day for a long time. It’s not the fairy tale type of ball or romantic fairy tale type of dream. It’s the dream of seeing Pedro’s music come to life on the big screen. More than that, it is the night of his first movie premiere in America. I’ve been there in my mind many times since I first took Pedro González Arbona into the recording studio three years ago.

cinderella ball gownA Cinderella Moment?

None of this has been easy for me—my role in Pedro’s life—from 5,300 miles across the globe. It started as friendship with an exchange student in my home, moved to a deep bond with his mother, and eventually led to producing his first CD and putting it for sale online. From that point on he has considered me his manager.

I’m not going to spend time rehashing the details of the history between us or Pedro’s musical career to this point. You can find that elsewhere on my site. What I will share is that today, July 4th, 2014, Pedro’s first full-feature film, Tempting Fate, with his accompanying soundtrack will be viewed at a private VIP screening in Houston, TX. There is no place I’d rather be tonight, alongside Pedro. It doesn’t even matter if I was his manager or not. I would still be there.

To me, that’s my Cinderella moment. No, I’m not meeting my Prince Charming (but beware young women, he is a Spanish charmer). And there won’t be dancing, although there is an after-party planned at a Houston nightclub.

Tempting Fate VIP Screening

For one night I will walk down the red carpet. I will wear something glitzy. I will meet the actors, the producers, and the press. (I’ll be sure to write about it and take lots of photos like the press too.) I will take it all in and show up in whatever capacity Pedro needs.

Believing in our Dreams

I can’t read music and have never played an instrument. However, I know how Pedro’s music captures and enhances the movie experience. I experienced it even before he started synchronizing his music to movies. I’ve also gotten glimpses from afar as his music has grown over the last few years.

One day last summer while in Madrid, he walked me through the composing and orchestration process. I was intrigued and blown away by his talent. I’ve gathered a plethora of information to write about his music, his life, and his journey to this major milestone in his life. Yet only a fraction of that has been published online. In time, God will reveal to me how, when, and where I’m to use it.

dreams_come_true_by_ebiisan-d4lwws3_largeSo today, while I had hoped to write a piece to promote his movie, I’m left with a post that expresses my desire for Pedro’s dreams to become a reality. As his benefactor, I’ve supported it, prayed for it, and believed in it from the start. Tonight I’ll get a front row seat to watching it unfold.

Fairy Tales do Come True

Where would we be if we didn’t dream? Where would we be if others didn’t foster or believe in our dreams and our potential? Where would the producer/director, cast members and behind the scenes crew of Tempting Fate be if they didn’t follow their dreams and share the vision to create this film? For me personally, I know I wouldn’t be in Houston today awaiting Pedro’s arrival from Madrid.

If I didn’t have others who believed in my dreams and encouraged me these past few years, I wouldn’t be a published author or have followed my mid-life writing dreams. Now I have paid forward that investment into Pedro and his dreams. It has given me new dreams as well, and opened my eyes to new possibilities.

thULDRAC39As a middle-aged woman who had her fairy tale wedding over thirty years ago, today will be the closest thing I’ll probably get to a fairy tale event again this side of heaven. I’ve got my fingers and toes crossed. I’m sending prayers upward that this faith-based movie, the message, and the music will be positively received and reviewed by the media, and distribution secured for viewing across America.

Oh, gotta run.  I’m also Pedro’s chauffeur.  I have to get his carriage to the airport on time.  I’m delivering one very special package to the theater tonight.

Because sometimes fairy tales do come true…it can happen to you.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Update 7/7/2014: The premiere was a wonderful success.  Pedro’s music received much praise.  He has a bright future in the film industry.  Time to get back to reality and support him from 5,300 miles across the world.

On the red carpet with Pedro at the premiere of "Tempting Fate".

On the red carpet with Pedro at the premiere of “Tempting Fate”.

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by ardisanelson on July 4, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, Pedro's Musical Pursuits
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Posted by ardisanelson on July 4, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/07/04/fairy-tales-do-come-true/

A Letter on Leaving the Nest

For the parents whose children have recently left the nest…and to their children as well.

My Book About Me

ardisanelson's avatarJourneys To Mother Love

He’s gone…my firstborn child graduated from college last month.  Then we packed up his belongings and settled him into an apartment 500 miles from home.

The last several weeks have been a frenzy of activity, including his 21st birthday.  I had glimpses of the emotion that I knew would come.  But none was as surprising as the wave that hit me when my son returned a letter to me I had written him when he left for college almost four years ago.

We were cleaning out his room, sorting what to take with him, what to keep at home, and what to get rid of.  He isn’t the sentimental type and asked me if I wanted to keep the letter. Naturally I agreed. While his focus and attention remained on sorting his belongings, I snuck away to read the letter…and the tears came.

I was surprised by the things I…

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by ardisanelson on July 2, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, Relationships & Family
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Posted by ardisanelson on July 2, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/07/02/a-letter-on-leaving-the-nest-2/

In Search of a Mother’s Love

There is a hunger inside of me sometimes.  We are all born with it—the desire for love and relationship.  From an early age we are taught in life how and who fills that need.  It is generally filled by our parents.  In most cases, the responsibility falls on the mother.  But what if that mother isn’t equipped to take on that role or isn’t capable of bonding with the child?  What happens to the inner need?

Longing for LoveThe Longing for Love

The need doesn’t go away; we just find other ways to fill that emptiness and hunger for love and relationship—in either healthy or unhealthy ways.  I didn’t know that or understand the affects that my mother’s mental illness had on me until about ten years ago when my unhealthy ways of relating and compulsive behaviors finally caught up with me.

I’ve done a lot of healing work and spiritual growth in that last decade.  I now serve in a ministry where I can come alongside others who are also struggling with the hurts from the past and seeing themselves as God sees them.  Even though I know with my whole heart that Jesus came to give me life and ultimately fill my need for love, there are still times when life can get me down.

I still have a longing to be known and to know others.  It is a longing for deep relationship.  It is the search for a mother’s love that was lost.

Looking for Love

I’ve lived my whole life this way—being self-sufficient without close siblings and without involvement and emotional attachment from my parents.  I didn’t know what I was missing because I didn’t experience it.  Now, after a decade of healing and recovery work, I know.  I know because I have started to more intensely experience the loss of the women in my life who helped me to heal.

michelle-ventor-reason-season-lifetime1When I started recovery, I had virtually no female friends—only a few through work.  I didn’t know how to be a real friend.  As I started my recovery journey, I observed real authentic vulnerability in other women.  I was hungry for that.  I let down my walls and embraced this new way of relating.  There was freedom gained by not being a secret or thinking that I was the only one who experienced that depth of pain.

Those bonds formed felt sacred to me.  They became my mother, my sisters and my daughters.  Those relationships have been hard to let go of over the years.  Insert the ever increasing presence of social media, and I begin to wonder who my friends really are.  Do I want quality in my relationships or do I want quantity?  I choose quality, but that has its cost too, as it’s hard to fit in the time to maintain the intimacy.

Missing my Mother

Mother’s Day 2014 marks four years since I last saw my mother alive.  Her passing and end of life forgiveness poured love back into me in a whole new way—her love and God’s love.  And still the loss of never getting to know her as a person keeps me searching at times for the love and mentoring of a mother.  My inner child (my little Ardis) still longs for my real mother’s love.

look_into_the_mirrorI wish I could’ve had more time with her.  She’s generally not far away though.  If I slow down long enough to look for her, she stares back at me in the mirror, smiles, and tells me that she loves me.  The knowledge and hope that I will see her again in eternity makes the longing fade into the distance once more.

May your Mother’s Day be filled with the love of your family or other important people in your life.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

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by ardisanelson on May 6, 2014  •  Permalink
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Posted by ardisanelson on May 6, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/05/06/in-search-of-a-mothers-love/

Fellowship Fridays Featured Post & Book Giveaway

Earlier this year I decided to start adding my posts to ‘link-up parties’.  Link-ups are opportunities for bloggers to share their writing to a wider audience of readers with similar interests.  I’ve noticed that some bloggers share their posts on lots of sites every week.  I personally don’t know how they do that.  It’s a lot of work–if you follow the rules–which include linking to the host blogger’s post, reading other posts on the list, and writing a comment related to the post.

Link up partyAnyway, I chose two sites that most closely matched my faith values and also exposed me to good writing from Christian women.  One of those sites was Christian Mommy Blogger (Fellowship Fridays).

A Welcome Connection

A few days ago I got a welcome email from Julie at ChristianMommyBlogger.com.  My post from the previous week so resonated with her that she chose to feature it on her blog.  Her email in turn connected with me as she referenced attending the Triduum services at her church during Holy Week–something I’ve also done for the last few years.  And so a kindred spirit was found online.

Sometimes all it takes is that one connection, that one opportunity to reach out to someone, to risk being known, and to be vulnerable.  It’s not an easy thing to do.  When I do, the rewards can be great.

Featured Badge CMB 1Julie’s decision to feature my post made my heart leap for joy because I knew that God was giving me confirmation to keep blogging.  He also reminded me that my call to write is not about being featured this week or maybe next.  It is still for an audience of One.

Last week Julie was blessed by something God laid on my heart to write.  Who knows who it will be next week.  Maybe it will be you.

Fellowship Fridays Feature Post 

Here is an excerpt from Julie’s post:

Today’s featured post is Holy Week, Holy People.  It was written by Ardis Nelson and posted on her blog, Making Me Bold.  She linked it up last week on Fellowship Fridays 18. As I read it, all I could do was nod my head as I received in her written words, confirmation of what was preached during the Good Friday service at my church.

On Good Friday, I was brought to my knees by that stark brutality with which Jesus’ humanity was assaulted in a failed attempt to blot out his divinity.  In the sermon, our pastor sought to make sense along with all of us of this hugely incomprehensible sacrifice.  And he said, “Jesus could follow through with God’s will for His life because Jesus knew who He was and he knew whose He was.”

Identity.  Purpose. Faith.

Just as Jesus had those and they enabled Him to lay down His life for us; we have those to help us work out our faith in the here and now.

When I read Ardis’ post this week, I was nodding because she touched on identity, purpose and faith in her post.  Read it! You’ll be so glad you did!  When I got to this sentence in her post, my eyes just welled with tears: “As you enter into these last few days of Holy Week, remember who you are, and whose you are.”

Just as the pastor’s words struck me on Friday; Ardis’ words echoed and confirmed that sentiment for me.  As I hope it does for you!  And I think Ardis’ words will stay with me not just in the echoes of the Easter season, but all year round. Some would call this a coincidence; but as Ardis told me in a message: “Coincidences?  I think not!  God is good to align these connections for His will and His ways.” 

I couldn’t agree more! It’s not a coincidence! It’s not a coincidence even that you’re all here reading this post.  And it’s not a coincidence that you share the love of God with others through your blogs and through your lives.  Thank you Ardis for sharing this post and touching our lives in this way! Read more about Ardis here. And check out her book, Journeys to Mother Love!

Journeys To Mother LoveEnter to Win

In honor of Julie’s selection of my post on Christian Mommy Blogger, I’m giving away a free autographed copy of Journeys to Mother Love.  Comment below or in the comments on my featured post, Holy Week, Holy People to be entered in the drawing. You can also ‘like’ my Facebook page or subscribe to my blog (in the right sidebar). One entry for each that you do–up to three entries total.  Entries close on midnight PST on Sunday, 5/4/14, just in time for Mother’s Day. (Shipped only to U.S. addresses.)

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by ardisanelson on April 28, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, My Writing Journey
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Posted by ardisanelson on April 28, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/28/fellowship-fridays-featured-post-book-giveaway/

A Lenten Journey Surprise

As I’ve done the last few years, I prepared for Easter with a Lenten fast from alcohol and sweets.  What was different this year was that much to my surprise my 16-year-old son decided to observe a fast as well.

lenten-journeyHow it all Began

About the same time that Lent began, my son and I started a new bedtime routine.  We read a daily devotional and then prayed together.  On the evening of Ash Wednesday, he asked me about the ashes on my forehead which led to a conversation about Lent.  (By the way, observing Lent, or Ash Wednesday, is not exclusively for Catholics as some mistakenly believe.)

The next day after school he announced he was giving up video games for Lent!  My heart leapt for joy at his sacrificial offering.  I don’t remember what I said that night.  I didn’t ask him about giving anything up himself.  When he told me his decision the next day, he was excited.

My husband and I have had discussions with our son about the amount of time he spends on video games in the past.  Sometimes those discussions turned pretty heated, and he’d lose his gaming privileges.  We’ve also suggested alternative ways of using his leisure time.  Nothing else ever seemed to interest him.

And that's not all of it!

My son’s video game collection–and that’s not even all of it!

However, as Lent started my son was excited to share his choice—and even recognized how hard it would be.  Those first few days he admitted to me that his thoughts would turn to gaming.  He learned to turn his attention elsewhere — sometimes to God, and other times to his studies.  Those thoughts diminished over time.

The End of the Journey

As the 40-day journey grew closer to Holy Week, we talked about what he would do after Easter.  Would he return to his old gaming behavior?  Would he continue his fast?  I shared with him my previous Lent experiences—ranging from returning to immediate gratification with candy on Easter Sunday to abstaining for a prolonged period.  He has opted to return in moderation.

What excites me about this year’s pilgrimage to Easter is not so much that he stopped gaming, it’s that he (and us together) started a great ritual of connecting at the end of the day.  I would often forget, and he’d remind me to join him for our devotional and prayer time.  He also started reading the Bible again and occasionally writing in a journal.

My son and our dog, one of his best friends.

My son and our dog, one of his best friends.

In God’s Timing

I know a lot of this is only possible because my son made a decision to try medication again for his ADHD a few months ago.  He is a changed person.

The medication has given him access to areas of his brain that before were preventing his behaviors from aligning with his desires.  It has allowed him to establish new homework routines, focus on his studies, become more social and succeed in school.  In turn, he is now making more adult decisions and able to find a part of his self that was inaccessible before.

I’m very thankful that we went down this road with him.  I’m grateful that he persevered over the last few years.  I praise God for His timing in all of this (yet again!) and how my son is actively pursuing his relationship with Him.  I’m also glad that I was able to model something to him in the past and that he caught that behavior on his own.

Surprised by God

I had hoped that my son would actually write this post for me (another thing we talked about during Lent), but he is busy with his studies.  He did, however, quickly volunteered to help with the photos and captions.

Surprised by GodWhen I asked him what he’d like to share about his Lenten Journey, he said, “It was a beneficial experience for me.  It helped me to know God better and do well in school.”  That’s a lot to get out of a 16-year-old who is filled with new hope and finding his way in life.

As far as my fast, I’m still abstaining—for now.  I’m embracing the joy of getting to know my son in a deeper way.  That was my Lenten surprise.

Did God surprise you on your journey toward Easter?  I’d love to hear your story.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

 

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by ardisanelson on April 24, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, Relationships & Family, Spiritual Growth
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Posted by ardisanelson on April 24, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/24/a-lenten-journey-surprise/

Orphaned or Adopted? ~ Reflections on Easter Sunday

Do you feel orphaned or adopted? Take another look at the meaning behind Easter for an answer to God’s plan for your family.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

ardisanelson's avatarJourneys To Mother Love

cross

We all have parents, whether we physically knew them or not. In my case, I knew both of my parents, growing up in a home where they both lived until I was nine. It was at that point that they divorced. My mother, my two brothers and me moved 2,000 miles away so we could be near my mother’s relatives.

Saying goodbye that day to my father on the plane was a very painful experience. It was back in the day when non-ticketed friends and family could go beyond the security check-point at the airport. My father walked us all onto the plane and paid special attention to me. Through my tears I could hear him reassuringly say, “Everything is going to be ok. You need to be a big girl now and take care of your mother.”

That was not my first taste of abandonment, but it’s the one…

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by ardisanelson on April 21, 2014  •  Permalink
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Posted by ardisanelson on April 21, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/21/orphaned-or-adopted-reflections-on-easter-sunday/

Holy Week, Holy People

Holy Week—the pinnacle of the Christian faith. It starts with Palm Sunday—the remembrance of Jesus’ entrance to Jerusalem on a donkey while surrounded by crowds cheering ‘Hosanna’. It ends on Easter Sunday, with the Good News of the empty tomb. He is risen! In between is the story of sacrificial love and gruesome suffering that led to the exchanged lives that Believers in Christ receive.

Holy Week

Faith Matters

It is not unusual for my mind to be on matters of Christian faith. I am not a trained pastor. I haven’t attended seminary. I don’t pretend to be a religious scholar. So why would I spend time on Holy Week sitting down to write a post about it?

It is because FAITH matters! And YOU matter to God!

If you are anything like me, you may not have grown up believing that, or maybe you still have doubts about it to this day. The root of that doubt doesn’t lie with God. It lies to a large degree with the formation of your identity as a young child and your family of origin.

You matter to God
Childlike Faith

In Luke 18:16-17, Jesus says “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

Was Jesus excluding adults in His Kingdom? No, He was reminding us of the innocence of a child. He was telling us to trust—a characteristic that we often lose in childhood due to shame, disappointments, emotional wounds, abuse, etc. This mistrust or absence of innocence can be brought on by a traumatic incident and sudden loss, or may be due to negative messages that over time we integrate into our souls as unworthiness. With those kinds of identity messages being heaped on us at an early age it’s no wonder we reject God or don’t believe we are who He says we are. (I know because I have struggled with that myself.)

My-identity-in-Christ
Who Are We?

We are Holy People!

Hard to believe? Then consider the standard you are using to determine the validity of that statement. Are you believing the father of all lies, the devil (John 8:44)? Or maybe you are comparing yourself to the Heroes of the Faith praised in Hebrews 11.

Are you saying, “I’m no Moses”, or “I don’t have faith like Abraham?” These Fathers of our Faith ended their lives well, but they had many sinful acts in their lifetimes. Moses murdered an Egyptian and fled to Midian (Exodus 2). Out of fear for his own safety, Abraham passed off his wife Sarah, as his sister, allowing a king to take her as his wife (Genesis 12). These heroes of our faith were broken people who failed, but God still used them, just like He uses us.

Holiness
Proof of our Holiness

How can we consider ourselves holy? Romans 10:9 says, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Jesus sacrifice was the price to make us holy in God’s eyes. God doesn’t see our sins anymore. We are the ones who condemn ourselves and continue to act like or believe we are unworthy.

Still having a hard time seeing yourself as holy—or that God would consider you holy? I grew up thinking (mistakenly so, by the way) that saints were only those people who were canonized by the Catholic Church. However, there are many verses in the Bible that reference God’s people as saints. For instance, Paul uses the term saints over and over again in his greetings to the New Testament churches. When our time comes to leave this life, Psalm 116:15 tells us: Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints (New King James Version).

Empty Tomb
As we celebrate Easter, remember who you are, and whose you are. Your holiness was paid for with a price. The proof is in the empty tomb. He is risen indeed!

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by ardisanelson on April 17, 2014  •  Permalink
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Posted by ardisanelson on April 17, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/17/holy-week-holy-people/

Qualified or Called, Part 1 ~ Learning to Serve

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV)

This verse first caught my attention early on in my recovery journey. It was the catalyst that I embraced when I started leading women’s support groups. God revealed to me in the short time that I was in recovery that he wanted to use my pain and my healing to come alongside others to encourage and support them on their journeys to wholeness.

Unqualified to qualifiedStepping up to Serve

The first group I facilitated was a Boundaries group. (It wasn’t the popular book by Drs. Cloud and Townsend. That came later in my teaching ministry.) My church was starting a recovery program with multiple groups being led with different curriculum. I was hungry for recovery and eager to share how God had redeemed my pain. However, I felt sorely unqualified to lead in this kind of setting. The ministry leader shared something with the leaders that has stuck with me ever since. He said, “You just have to be well enough.”

That was a relief to me. I didn’t have to have it all figured out. I didn’t need to perform. I needed to lead from my brokenness and my vulnerability.* That didn’t make it easy, but it helped me to let go of my pride and let God work in me in this new role with my church. You see I was, and am, a fairly capable person when it comes to project management, running large meetings, and such in the business world. However, putting myself on the front line of emotional and spiritual endeavors was totally foreign to me. And that was what God wanted. 

2 Cor. 12:9Believing you are Well Enough

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV) That is not what Satan wants—for you to serve in ministry. He is an expert at trying to get us to believe we are not good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough to serve the Lord. Don’t believe him! God wants to use you!

In time I stepped into bigger ministry roles at my church, not because I felt qualified, but because I felt called by God, or in some cases was asked. I often jumped in quickly, not realizing what I was getting myself into. Each time God was stretching me outside of my comfort zone—to coordinate a women’s retreat, speak at a women’s event, and to train the leaders that launched my church’s Celebrate Recovery ministry. Through it all, I was often reminded of a phrase I’d heard in ministry circles: “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”

Answering my Next Call

Over the last few months, I’ve been preparing for God’s next call on my life. In preparation for that, I worked on a re-write of my recovery testimony. If you don’t know what that is, check out this post, What is a CR Testimony?, on the Celebrate Recovery website where I serve. Suffice it to say, it is not a small matter; and it is not a salvation testimony.

Answering the call

As I wrote it, God revealed to me the weavings and points of intersection where He was putting the people, circumstances and events in place to lead to this very time in my life. It’s been pretty profound, and has grown my faith in even bigger ways. There is so much I could write about this, but one chain of events stands out with such clarity to illustrate the way God works, and how perfect His timing is. I’ll save that for Part 2 of this series.

I’d love to hear from others who have stepped up into ministry leadership. Did you feel called? Do you presently feel qualified? How was God preparing you to serve Him?

*A great book I recommend about this leadership posture is Leading with a Limp, by Dan Allender.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

4 Comments
by ardisanelson on April 3, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Healing & Recovery, Identity, Spiritual Growth
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by ardisanelson on April 3, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/04/03/qualified-or-called-part-1-learning-to-serve/

An Invitation to my Sacred Space

Last week I entered into my 4th year of actively participating in the season of Lent, with ashes on my forehead as well.  No, I am not Catholic, as some might quickly assume.  I am a Protestant.  I do, however, attend weekly mass and spend quality time in meditation at a local Catholic church.  This practice started three years ago when my mother, a practicing Catholic, passed away shortly before Lent.

Ashes in cups

Cups of ashes from the Ash Wednesday service.

My Weekly Prayer Practice

It was in those first times of prayer there that the Lord showed up, gave me incredible peace, and started to speak to me in ways I’d never experienced before.  Those weekly visits became my Lenten practice that first year.  I’ve continued ever since, but not just for Lent.

Those first few months when I had one foot in my Protestant Church and another at the local Catholic Church were very difficult for me.  I knew God was doing something in me.  I knew/know that my identity in Christ was/is secured.

What I learned about myself in the process is that I am a contemplative, as described in the book Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas.  It is how I best get in touch with God.  I came to understand that it didn’t matter if I was Protestant or Catholic.  It is faith that pleases God (Hebrews 11:6).

I was encouraged and supported through this spiritually growing time by Protestant pastors who accepted my unique walk of faith, and my not doing “church in a box.”  I was living missionally.  These visits to the Catholic Church also helped me to connect with my Spanish family and gave me a longing to worship in Spain, like I did last summer.  This has had major ripple effects in my spiritual walk and in God’s Kingdom in many ways here and abroad.*

WP_20140312_008Welcome to my Sacred Space

In light of my unique perspective, I thought I would share with my readers what it is like for me, a contemplative Protestant, to worship in a Catholic Church.  In so doing, maybe some of my readers won’t judge the Catholics so harshly, or maybe the Protestant Churches could learn something about this as well.  I am not advocating one way or the other is correct.  It is merely my perspective; and I am not a seminary student, an ordained minister, or a theologian.

First of all, I believe that no church can ‘meet’ everyone’s needs.  Yes, Jesus can meet all of their needs, but the way one church structures their church service, or the ‘vibe’ of the church, will not appeal to everyone.  I don’t think it is about structure; it is about content.  It is about preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

One thing that is consistent about the Catholic Church is that they all have a set structure or order to the mass.  They even have the same scripture readings in all churches throughout the world, as dictated by the head of the Catholic Church.  (Not sure exactly if that is the Pope or some organization under him.   As I said, I’m not an expert on this.  The idea here is that it is divinely revealed as to what scripture is read worldwide.)  Those scripture readings are published in various publications and online.

I have to admit that in the past, I was one of those people who felt that the mass was just a bunch of rote responses and prescribed prayers.  As I’ve come to view it and take it in, I see that it is a beautiful dialogue between God and His people.  One could just say the responses, but I prefer to contemplate and say the responses in praise to God.  There is also deliberate quiet time in mass, albeit, much too brief for my liking.  It is all a rhythm back and forth.  To me it feels like an invitation to encounter God.  It is a sacred time.  I covet this time and notice a dramatic difference in my level of peace when I miss it.

WP_20140312_004One last thing, because I’ve been asked and know people are curious.  I don’t take communion—not because I don’t want to.  It’s because I’d have to become a member of the Catholic Church.  I’ve had lots of dialogue around that topic with priests, pastors, and even bloggers.  Instead I receive a blessing from the priest.  (And that is a topic for another post, but you can check out a very enlightening post by a Catholic blogger that I follow and admire.)

Find Him in the Stillness

Well, that’s a glimpse into my sacred space.  If you are reading this post on a Wednesday morning, you could actually walk into the small chapel of that church and see me praying, reading scripture, or journaling my conversations with God.  My friends and family all know I’m there, interceding on their behalf and talking with God.  But now it is late Tuesday night as I write this, and I will turn in so I don’t miss my weekly appointment with God.

What are you doing to give God more space in your life?  I know that if you give him the stillness of your day, and seek Him, you will find Him.  I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. (Proverbs 8:17, NIV)

*Live locally and interested in what those ripple effects are?  You can request information about my next speaking opportunity through my Contact Page.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

11 Comments
by ardisanelson on March 12, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity
Tagged , , , , , , ,

Posted by ardisanelson on March 12, 2014

https://ardisanelson.com/2014/03/12/an-invitation-to-my-sacred-space/

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    I'm an author, writer, speaker, mentor & mom. I've struggled to find my voice all my life as I lived in the shadows of a mother with mental illness. Thankfully that was not the legacy that she handed down to me. It took a lot of recovery and deep healing work to rise above it.

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