All posts tagged gratitude

In the Blink of an Eye

Three months ago when I stepped on Spanish soil, I had to make many decisions about how to live in that country. I had to quickly adapt without the benefit of having my American family or friends with me. I chose to fully immerse myself in everything Spain.

I put aside my allergen sensitive diet and ate most everything I was offered. At first I didn’t notice any dramatic symptoms. I was fighting the heat, dehydration, and jet lag. I guess I was dealing with culture shock as well, but didn’t realize it at the time.

“You made it to Spain! You are experiencing the trip of your life. Don’t miss a second of it.” Those were the words that kept me going. Adapt, adapt, adapt. Push, push, push. “It’s only six weeks,” I reminded myself. All the while that I partook, my body registered everything that was happening.

My trip of a lifetime, seeing sights like the Roman aqueduct from the 1st century, Segovia, Spain.

Now That I’m Home

I returned home from Spain in early August and was again dealing with adjustments back to my American lifestyle and diet. But after the first few weeks, I didn’t bounce back to my old normal self. I knew something was physically wrong. A trip to the naturopath confirmed what I suspected. My Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) was in relapse.

I’ve been here before. I know it is a slow process to get back up and running to a normal pace—one that includes lots of self-care, body work, and giving myself grace to not push so hard. I have no regrets. It just goes to show that you never know when or how things can suddenly change in your life.

Back in Spain

Case in point, a few weeks after I left Spain, Rafa, Pedro’s father, had a stroke. It came as a big shock to me and, of course, to their entire family. Thankfully Rafa got treatment right away. He is doing much better and a full recovery is expected.

Queen for a day, with Rafa as my escort at the Royal Palace in Madrid.

Naturally it took me back to the fears I had after my mother’s stroke. She never regained her speech or use of the right side of her body. It also felt like déjà vu to me as I lit a candle in the Catholic Church for Rafa and fervently prayed for this family. My heart ached for Rosa again, and for the burden that fell upon the family while still caretaking for Perico, Rosa’s father.

On the bright side, I was so grateful to have personally met Rafa before this happened. I was thankful for the many special times I had with this family, and Rafa in particular.

Rafa was a wonderful host and tour guide while on my travels throughout Spain. He is an avid shutterbug like me and took lots of great photos of my trip. He was also my protector in many ways—even going so far as to escort me one Sunday morning on the subway so I could attend a Protestant Church service. I am thankful for his generosity to me and am praying for his continued recovery.

In the Blink of an Eye

A few years ago, I used to have a tag line as part of my email signature block that read: Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks. (Regina Brett) It was a little reminder to trust God when things didn’t go as I expected.

Nothing surprises God. He knows what lies ahead for us. It is up to us how we are going to respond to it.

As I am coming out of denial and learning to accept what I did to my body again, I am believing in God’s promises and clinging to the hope that He offers. His words to me, and others who are hurting in physical and emotional ways, are from a familiar Bible verse: “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:31, NIV)

I can blink without worry because my hope is in the Lord.

2 Comments

by ardisanelson on September 27, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, My Spanish Connection, My Trip to Spain, Relationships & Family

Tagged adapting to change, Christianity, encouragement, God, gratitude, hope, identity, letting go, living abroad, My Spanish Connection, self-care

Posted by ardisanelson on September 27, 2013

https://ardisanelson.com/2013/09/27/in-the-blink-of-an-eye/

Hitting a Home Run for Recovery

After my second viewing of the movie “Home Run” a few days ago, I’m left thinking about the face of recovery and why so many people sit in denial about their issues. By issues I mean unhealthy habits like hiding their hurts, medicating their pain, isolating, and trying harder to make life fit their demands.

Cory Brand, the main character of the movie, played by Scott Elrod, is one such person. He is a major league baseball all-star who is forced to face his alcoholism after a DUI and team suspension. In recovery circles, we call it hitting bottom. It is not a pleasant moment in one’s life, but for those who choose recovery as a result, and work through a 12-step program, their lives are transformed. I know because I lived through it myself.

Breaking Through the Wall of Denial

Through the use of vivid flashbacks, the movie shows the pain of Cory’s upbringing, as he lived with an alcoholic father who expected perfection from his son at an early age. The scenes are hard to watch at times as you feel for what Cory went through (rated PG-13). These painful reminders drive Cory to drink and lash out in anger, unwittingly repeating the generational curse of his father.

Cory is like many of us who have found recovery. We don’t come easily or quietly. Our denial runs deep. What struck me in this story, was that despite his being mandated by his team to attend a 12-step program as a condition of his suspension, he doesn’t embrace it until later on in the movie. He just goes through the motions. His life continues to spiral out of control until he finally realizes he can’t do it on his own. That is the point in which one really starts recovery—coming out of denial.

Why Recovery?

Step 1 of Celebrate Recovery reads: “We admitted that we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.” That brings me to a misconception that is dealt with in a powerful way in the movie. Recovery gets a bad rap because most people think that recovery is for “those” people. You know who I mean—alcoholics, drug addicts, and people who REALLY have problems. That is so far from the truth. I won’t give away the story, but suffice it to say, that just because someone is a Christian or lives their life in a Godly manner doesn’t mean they’ve had it easy. We all carry hurts inside of us, and we all have to deal with life’s problems.

Celebrate Recovery – A Christian 12-Step Program

Celebrate Recovery (CR) is a Christian 12-step program that helps people with their hurts, habits and hang-ups. It’s for anyone who struggles in life. Typical struggles that people address at CR are anger, fear, grief, guilt and shame, holding on to the past, inability to forgive, isolation, need to control, finances, eating disorders, alcohol or substance dependency, pace of life, rejection, relationship problems, sexual addiction, stress, and emotional, physical, sexual or spiritual abuse.

CR is often described as guided sanctification. That’s just a fancy theological term for becoming the person God intends for us to be. CR gives one tools to take responsibility for our actions, offer forgiveness to those we have hurt, forgive ourselves, learn to lean on others for help, and to give back from a grateful heart. All this transformation comes through the power of the Holy Spirit and a relationship with Jesus that is core to this biblical program.

See the Movie for Yourself

In my opinion, “Home Run” hits a big home run for recovery. It is a realistic view at how turning our lives over to Jesus brings about healing, wholeness and transformation. It brings about freedom from our past and hope for the future. In Cory’s situation, it gave him a chance to restore a broken relationship, giving him a new lease on life.

Even if recovery isn’t for you, I’m sure there is someone you know who needs a program like Celebrate Recovery. With the end of baseball season looming, it’s the perfect time to view this movie. “Home Run” is available on Blu-Ray/DVD, on demand, or watch it online on youtube. To find a Celebrate Recovery program near you, click this link. You or someone you know will be glad you did.

1 Comment

by ardisanelson on September 11, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Healing & Recovery, Identity

Tagged 12 step, addictions, Celebrate Recovery, Christianity, feeling defeated, forgiveness, God, gratitude, healing, hope, movie review, struggle, transformation

Posted by ardisanelson on September 11, 2013

https://ardisanelson.com/2013/09/11/hitting-a-home-run-for-recovery/

Journeys to Mother Love, One Year Later

When my story, “Walking My Mother Home”, in Journeys to Mother Love was released on August 24, 2012 (one year ago) by Cladach Publishing, I had everything in place to position myself and the book for success. I had attended writing and marketing seminars, webinars, and conferences, and launched a website and Facebook page. I was ready to dive into the social media marketing blitz. I held an open house and book signing as well. It all fed into my hopes and expectations for financial success. After all, I had a trip to Spain in my future, and no personal source of income to pay for it. I was counting on the book sales.

Opening my first box of books, August 2012.

Within days of receipt of my first box of books, I was at church in my sacred space with one copy. I silently read my story and dedicated it to the Lord. I asked for his blessings on the book, that my story would touch people’s lives, inspire them on their faith journey, and that none of this ‘fame’ would go to my head—the same as I have done for Pedro since his music went online.

I was grateful. I was excited. I was ready for anything.

The Highs and Lows

I have had a lot of amazing highs over the past year, partnering with two other friends who recently published spiritual books, networking at writer’s meetings, and so on. At times, it was a bit surreal to me. Yes, there is a bit of notoriety that comes with the territory and interest when people find out I am a writer. Although I never tire of telling someone the story, if it seems appropriate, or I feel led by the Holy Spirit, I also try to keep it all in perspective.

A friendly book swap between authors, Emiko Hori and me, June 2013.

I’ve had some low points in my first year as a published author as well. The lows totally caught me off guard and triggered deep feelings inside of me—like feelings of rejection I thought I had already worked through.

Most authors and artists, if they were truly honest, have struggled with that at some point in time. It is the push and pull of promoting, wanting financial success, and letting go of who buys your book and how many sell.

Paying It Forward

Once I learned to let go of that (and am still learning), I started to have more one on one encounters with people who were interested in the story. I can remember each and every one.

I try to write a personal note to each person who receives the book and pray for the recipient. Except for the online sales, I have photos of many people who received the book personally through me. I photograph many of my inscriptions as well. They are very personal to me and often feel inspired by the Holy Spirit.

This is but one way I try to pay the blessing forward. The other is when I give the book away as a gift. For instance, it resides in the library of Monmouth College, my alma mater—where I graduated with a B.A. in Business Administration, not English. It is also in the hands of many of the staff at New Life Ministries, out of gratitude for their role in my healing. I love that I can give something back in this small way.

Paying the blessing forward with Becky Brown of New Life Ministries, February 2013.

A Year of Gratitude

As I finish this inaugural year as an author, I can look behind me and see God’s hand on each book that was released from my inventory. I can see how He was chiseling away my inner parts that don’t reflect His image. In return He has given me the gift of my story and the courage to share it.

Not including e-book sales or those through the publisher or the other authors, I know my story in Journeys to Mother Love resides in the hearts of people throughout the United States in Washington, California, Illinois, Missouri, Florida, Georgia, Oklahoma, and Wisconsin, and abroad in England, France, Mexico, and of course, Spain. I am thankful for that and any future opportunities that the Lord makes available to share His story.

A friend reading “Journeys to Mother Love” while traveling in England, October 2012.

If you’ve gotten this far in the post, I hope you’ll indulge me the opportunity to thank all who have purchased my book, either directly from me or through Amazon. I don’t have any knowledge of who the Amazon purchasers are (or receive any proceeds from that). I’d love to know if you bought it online though. You can comment below or privately contact me through the contact form on my site.

Thank you for every purchase through me or my site, as it allows me to freely give it away to those who I sense really need this story. Lastly, I appreciate the notes I receive, posts on Facebook, etc. Please feel free to pass on any comments about the book or my story on my site review page, or support my writing by subscribing to my blog or liking my Facebook page.

Muchas, muchas gracias!

4 Comments

by ardisanelson on August 28, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, My Writing Journey

Tagged Christianity, Cladach Publishing, encouragement, faithful, gifts, God, gratitude, identity, Journeys to Mother Love, memoir writing, publishing, struggle, writing

Posted by ardisanelson on August 28, 2013

https://ardisanelson.com/2013/08/28/journeys-to-mother-love-one-year-later/

España Update 5 ~ My Host Family

My trip to Spain came to an end several days ago. Hopefully the blogging about my travels will continue here intermittently for quite some time. I couldn’t let another day go by though without writing something in appreciation to the family who hosted me these last six weeks. I hope you enjoy getting to know them a bit as well.

The Importance of Family

From the start of our relationship with Pedro three years ago, I watched him interact with family members back home over Skype and heard stories about his family gatherings. I was impressed to hear how important family was to him. On his initial student profile (filled out as part of his application process as an exchange student), Pedro didn’t mark “family oriented” as one of his personality characteristics. I remember later telling him that was an oversight on his part. I knew it then and lived it firsthand myself these last six weeks.

Rosa, me, Pedro, and Rafa, my host family for 6 weeks in Spain.

Over the last three years I’ve heard family member names come up in Skype conversations, received photos of new babies born into the family, and prayed through their trials and tribulations with them. So besides Pedro’s parents, Rosa and Rafa, I knew I also wanted to meet his other relatives.

The Family Tree

One of our early conversations when we first met Pedro was about his family tree. It was a very memorable conversation because as he tried to explain the familial relationships, we kept getting confused with the family labels he used. It was really quite comical as we couldn’t understand how Pedro, who had no siblings, could have nieces and nephews. It turns out that in Spain, his 1^st and 2^nd cousins are considered nieces and nephews.

Within days of my arrival in Madrid, the family visits started. After the first one, Rafa, Pedro’s father, kindly created a family tree to help me navigate all of the names and relationships. By the time I left Spain last week, I met almost everyone from Rosa’s side of the family, from her one year old great-nephew to her 93-year old father. I met 26 relatives in all, from Madrid to Seville to Mallorca, an island off the coast of Spain.

Rosa, outside the summer home in Soller, Mallorca, Spain–for 3 generations.

Living in a Large Family

Not only did I meet them, I also lived with many of them, at the family summer home in Soller, Mallorca. This home has been in the family for three generations, and is set up to accommodate sleeping arrangements for over 20 people. Pedro has spent every August of his life there. Everyone extended me a warm welcome and treated me like family too. It was an amazing gift.

In Soller, I got a bird’s eye view into living in a large family. I witnessed the fellowship amongst adults and friendship between the children. I observed their gatherings at meals, at the pool, at the beach, and at play.

I was immersed not only in Spain; I was immersed in family living. Coming from a background of divorced parents and few relatives, there were times I felt inadequate around this large family, not knowing how to fit in, while also trying to overcome the language barrier.

A fond farewell with Pedro’s grandfather.

What I saw day in and day out was a family that put a high value on the children and was bonded in love. With Carmen, the family matriarch gone, the grandfather is the glue that holds this family together. It will be a mixed blessing with his passing, as the caregiver role that this family carries is quite heavy. It was truly a gift to meet him. Although our communication was hampered by the language barrier, he was always trying to communicate with me—repeating the same questions over and over. I didn’t mind though. His attention was welcome, and it helped me with my Spanish too.

An Evening to Remember

My final night in Spain was spent at the family home with 19 other people. It was filled with precious memories as part of this large family: help with my online flight check-in, hanging around the pool, meeting more family, playing board games and late-night Charades.

My parting gift to this family was a signed copy of Journeys to Mother Love, that includes the published story that brought us all together. It was a poignant and sentimental moment for me—traveling 5,300 miles across the world and coming full circle with the story in my mind.

With my Spanish family on my final night in Spain.

A Fond Farewell

I know that God gives us what we need in so many unexpected and special ways when we chose to follow His will and His ways. When we opened up our home to Pedro, and made him part of our family three years ago, I never dreamed that I would one day be the recipient of that same hospitality. When I traveled to Spain, I didn’t realize what kind of effect that would have on me—never having a close family or many relatives growing up. Their kindness touched me in deep ways that even now brings tears to my eyes.

I left Spain with a bigger heart for this family and a deep appreciation for them opening their home and their lives to me. I miss Spain. I miss them. But I know our goodbyes were not the end of this relationship. It is just adios for now and on to the next chapter of the story that God is weaving between our families.

A parting gift from one of the grandchildren who touched my heart.

On a Personal Note

I am closing this post with a special thank you to Pedro, Rosa, Rafa, and my entire Spanish family. Muchas, muchas gracias! May God richly bless you for the many kindnesses you have shown me. With love, Ardis

~ If this is your first time visiting my blog, you can start reading about my Spanish travels here.

The Road to Spain, Update 4 ~ Mental Readiness

As the countdown calendar on my blog has turned to days (28 as of today) until I arrive in Spain, I feel the pressure mounting to get things done. I have struggled with an internal battle in my mind—highs and lows—that leave me emotionally exhausted and stressed.

Immersing in the language

I suppose it’s only natural considering that I’m short on funds for the trip, wrapping up a challenging high school transition year for my son, and making decisions for a major remodel project on our home that will take place while I’m gone. It has been hard to put all of that aside and cling to the joy that awaits me in Spain.

Over these last several months, the Lord has stripped me of so many expectations. It started with the cancellation of a side trip to France to share my testimony. Then there was the letting go of my desire to speak in Spain. Last week I had another reality check when I realized that the Spanish Ebook for “Walking My Mother Home” won’t be ready in time.

As painful as those realizations have been, letting go of those expectations is allowing me to focus more on preparing my body, mind, and spirit for the trip. (See my last Spain update for how I am preparing my body.)

Immersing in the country

Immersing my Mind

The biggest task to preparing mentally is to learn Spanish. Although I took two years of Spanish in high school (way too many years ago), I knew re-learning would be difficult. I hate having to rely so heavily on this family being my constant translator. (Lo siento, Pedro.) Besides that, the last week of my trip I’m on my own. Regardless of how much I learn by June 24^th, I am hoping that being immersed in the language and culture for six weeks will allow the language to just sink in to some degree.

I’ve also been immersing myself in the music, and reading about Spain in my spare time. My love of Spanish music started three years ago after a gift of CDs from Pedro’s family. My family has long since tired of hearing them, but not me. I can almost sing the lyrics myself, but I have no idea what they mean.

Immersing in the music

Another way I am preparing for this trip is to de-clutter my mind. I turned off the audible email alerts on my smart phone. Unfortunately, I noticed I had an unnerving habit of checking my phone for messages. (Can anyone relate to that?) So last week, I unsubscribed to virtually every email list that I was on. I was shocked to see that I had over 50 bloggers and marketing companies bombarding me with email.

The last piece of immersion I will do over the next few weeks is to re-read parts of my journal and emails during the time that Rosa and I first started to communicate. I want to be in a frame of mind that makes those memories easy to access so Rosa and I can talk about it. But if the story immersion doesn’t happen, I’ll need to let go of those expectations as well.

It’s a First!

This trip is the trip of a lifetime for me. At times I fear it may be my only trip to Spain and try to pack in everything I can possibly think of to do or to prepare. (My day job used to be as a project manager, by the way.) Other times I am in such awe of how God has orchestrated this relationship and can’t imagine there not being future trips or a full-length book being published. That is the essence of the war that seems to be going on in my mind.

I know my mind will be at ease by the time I step off that plane. My challenge for the next 28 days is to remember that regardless of whether or not there are future trips to Spain or what gets done in advance, there will never be the anticipation for my first trip to Spain or the first time I meet Rosa. That is what I need to hold onto over the next four weeks. That, and lots of prayer are the best defense for my mental readiness for Spain.

2 Comments

by ardisanelson on May 27, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, My Spanish Connection, My Trip to Spain

Tagged encouragement, fear, gratitude, hope, letting go, life's challenges, mind/body/spirit, My Spanish Connection, overwhelm, plans, relationships, Rosa, self-care, Spain, struggle

Posted by ardisanelson on May 27, 2013

https://ardisanelson.com/2013/05/27/the-road-to-spain-update-4-mental-readiness/

Going Down Memory Lane

As we sat at a Seattle waterfront restaurant watching the rain, clouds and sun fight for control of the views out the window, I marveled at the thought of the 19 years that had passed between my friend and me. We didn’t look 19 years older, but the age of our children was reality enough to ensure we were not dreaming.

A blustery day on the Seattle waterfront

Two Peas in a Pod

Mildred and I met when I re-entered the workforce one year after the birth of my first child. We have a very strange history together.

Our work history intersects at three different employers. I was her supervisor at two of those employers. At one point in time, I held a former position of hers and then later she held a former position of mine. That speaks volumes in itself. It is a testament to her character and her work ethic.

Nineteen years later, she has a nice retirement nest egg from her employer waiting for her; and I am just now finding my career niche—my writing. Unlike most writers I know, I don’t have a day job to fall back on. Some might say it is a luxurious lifestyle. For me, it is part of my self-care program.

Mildred was eager to hear all about my upcoming trip to Spain. As if to confirm why she was such a good employee—and how very like-minded we are—she immediately suggested having my story translated into Spanish. I agreed and told her that I negotiated the foreign rights to my story with my publisher and that Pedro had already translated the manuscript.

Does time really heal all wounds?

Wounds of the Past

We caught up on talk about our kids and our parents—being in the sandwich generation. We naturally ended up talking about work. Many of my former colleagues and employees had retired or moved on to other organizations. A few remained.

As we talked about work, the memories and people’s names started to drift back to my short-term memory—people she had even long since forgotten about. Some of my memories were of painful events, like my demotion. Except for one brief moment, I experienced no emotional pain in discussing it though.

They say that time heals all wounds. I’m not sure who that ‘they’ is, but that is not something you’d ever hear in recovery circles. If you don’t look at the painful wounds of the past, you bury them alive. They will leak out in unhealthy ways when you least expect them—like in outbursts of anger, or can lead to physical symptoms like ulcers, etc.

In my case, I worked through my character defects that brought me to my knees at the hands of my boss. I’m grateful for it, as it pointed me down the road to recovery, and eventually to Celebrate Recovery, a Christian 12-step program.

Moving Forward

Going down memory lane is a healthy practice—not for self-condemnation or holding on to resentments—but for healing. The one painful memory that surfaced helped me to realize that I still have one last thing to clear up—an amends of sorts.

Even as Mildred and I reconnected we touched on the same thread between us—making sure we understood each other and to not take advantage of our friendship. Her words served to encourage me, and likewise mine for her.

Another luncheon is over. Another friendship is rekindled. Another day is done. All because of the connection my story is making in people’s hearts.

Maybe I do lead a life of luxury. It’s not the kind of physical luxury or success that pays the bills. It is the luxury of friendship. That’s the best kind of riches to have.

Do you embrace opportunities to go down memory lane or avoid it like the plague? I hope you’ll embrace it and free yourself from the pain of the past.

Reclaiming Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day forever changed for me in May 2010. That was the last time I saw my mother alive. It was also her last Mother’s Day. Previous to that day I think the last time we were together on Mother’s Day was my senior year in high school—a span of 35 years.

Separated by Mental Illness

Over those many years Mother’s Day wasn’t something I looked forward to. It was a day of obligatory cards or calls. She was remarried (again) and happy it seemed—that is until her husband died. After that she drifted in and out of mental hospitals and eventually became a ward of the state.

I had tremendous guilt about my relationship with her. I wanted a mother, but didn’t want her to be my mother. Due to her mental illness and emotional instability she wasn’t able to teach me how to be a mother myself. I had to figure it out on my own. I didn’t hold that against her. After all, I was pretty self-sufficient in those days. I just accepted that she was mentally ill. I chose to distance myself from her physically and emotionally and told myself it was for my own sanity.

Coming Together Again

My final Mother’s Day gift to my mom

When mom had her stroke in 2009, God nudged me back by her side for two visits. The Lord was working on my heart on those trips. As she lingered on hospice, living day to day with the aid of a feeding tube, God was making it clear His work wasn’t done between us yet. That led me to that last visit on Mother’s Day 2010.

Between that trip—the last time I saw her alive—and the day she passed away nine months later, Pedro and Rosa, my Spanish family, entered our lives. And the rest, as they say, is history—forever documented in Journeys to Mother Love.

Mother’s Day Reclaimed

Those first few Mother’s Days after she passed away were hard for me. I deliberately spent them entrenched with my immediate family, to distract me from those painful reminders. Now, I celebrate Mother’s Day with Rosa, as my kindred spirit of mother love—although it is one week earlier in Spain.

As strange as it may sound, I feel like every day is Mother’s Day to me now. My mom’s death in February 2011 brought about a rebirth in me that forever changed the way I view my life and Mother’s Day.

It was as if her death brought me life, not because of any burden I was carrying of guilt or shame, as some might do. It was because I got in touch with pieces of myself that were previously buried deep within me—parts of my identity that weren’t ok to express. God revealed to me in her passing that I am beautifully and wonderfully made in ways like my mother that I couldn’t bear to embrace before.

So every day really is Mother’s Day to me, because of my gratitude to my mom, and to the Lord for giving me back my life. I have reclaimed the real purpose of Mother’s Day in my life. It is the incredible gift that mother’s give to everyone—the gift of life.

Regardless of the status of your relationship with your mother, my wish for you is a Mother’s Day that is filled with pleasant memories and gratitude to the one who gave you life.

More “Journeys to Mother Love” & Free Ebook

If this is the first time you’ve stumbled upon my blog, I encourage you to also check out journeystomotherlove.com, the blog hosted by Cladach Publishing, the publisher of Journeys to Mother Love. This blog, dedicated to encouraging each other in mother/child relationship healing, is authored by the nine contributors to “Journeys to Mother Love”, and invites others to share their stories.

Now through Monday, May 13, 2013, get your free Kindle ebook of Journeys to Mother Love at Amazon.com. Since this is free, after you’ve read the book, would you do me and my publisher a huge favor by writing a review? And don’t forget to subscribe, follow, like, pin, press this or share in your favorite social media!

May these stories inspire you on your journey to mother love. Happy Mother’s Day!

How Do You Invest in People?

It all started in the summer of 2010. I had just finished a Beth Moore Bible study, was basking in the sun on the deck out back and pondering my next season of ministry options. My passion was facilitating spiritual growth and recovery groups at my church, but had taken some time off during my son’s senior year in high school. As I sat in the sun and prayed, I asked God for direction on how to serve. He clearly ‘said’, it seemed, to invest in people.

How do you invest in people? One person at a time.

Invest in People?

“Hmmm,” I thought, “what does that mean?” Within a few days I had my answer. It came during a Skype with Pedro, the Spanish exchange student who stayed with us earlier that summer. He told me that his grandmother had just been diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor and only had a few months to live. With my mother being on hospice care and living day to day with the aid of a feeding tube, I sensed that I was to come alongside Rosa and support her through this painful period in her life.

I still wasn’t very sure how to do that—especially since we didn’t speak the same language—and I was struggling with my own mother’s prolonged illness. Yet that connection led to the peaceful passing of our mothers—just three weeks apart, the beautiful bonding of two hearts across the world, and eventually the publishing of my story, “Walking My Mother Home”, in Journeys to Mother Love.

Over the last two plus years I’ve had to let go of the comfort of serving in an organized ministry role in favor of more one on one time connecting with people. It is the continuation of my ‘invest in people ministry’. Last week I was reminded of just how unexpected and profound those encounters can be.

A chance meeting in my hometown

A Chance Meeting

For this particular meeting, I was again basking in the sun, but this was at a nearby country club. I was with a woman I met two months ago at the marriage workshop my husband and I attended in California. Her brother had suddenly passed away and she was in town for the memorial service. The service was over and we stole some time away to reconnect, encourage and pray for one another.

What struck me was how God had orchestrated this ‘chance’ meeting in my hometown and how fortunate I was to be able to be there for her. I didn’t have to ask a boss for time off. (And I’m sure it would’ve been frowned upon by an employer.) I did have to make a choice to delay some promotional work, but it was well worth the investment of my time. (For more about this chance meeting and how God’s hand was all over it, check out “Filling the Jar With Rocks”, on the Journeys to Mother Love blog.)

The R.O.I. points to heavenly rewards.

What’s the R.O.I?

I always find that my people investments have a two-fold benefit. They serve to encourage and support the other person, and they also provide an intangible return to me. In other words, it undoubtedly blesses both of us in some unexpected or profound way. And ultimately they create a big R.O.I. (return on investment), not just in our day to day lives, but in the heavenly realm as well.

Just like any other investment decision there are risks associated with it—the biggest I think is rejection. But I’m willing to step out of my comfort zone and take those risks instead of living with regrets.

After two years of heeding to those ‘investment’ nudges from God, I strongly encourage others to be on the lookout for those same kinds of encounters. We may never know the R.O.I., but I believe there is a banker up above who is keeping track.

What are you doing to invest in people? I’d love to hear your story.

This post is listed on Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays and Missional Women/Faith Filled Friday.

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by ardisanelson on May 3, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Relationships & Family

Tagged Christianity, faithful, friendship, God, gratitude, heaven, hope, relationships, Sisters in Christ

Posted by ardisanelson on May 3, 2013

https://ardisanelson.com/2013/05/03/how-do-you-invest-in-people/

Dad & Mom ~ Birthday Reflections

When I logged on to my computer Wednesday morning my Outlook calendar reminded me that it was my father’s birthday—his first since he passed away last summer. He would’ve been 95. I gave his eulogy and wrote a series of posts about his passing while in the midst of my grief and processing. In those posts I recounted how beautiful his passing was and about the family healing that resulted.

Nine months have passed and we have all returned to our busy lives in various parts of the country. My stepmother has meticulously cleaned out the house and my father’s belongings. She invested in some long overdue major house repairs. Earlier this month her son permanently moved into their home. It is her time to be cared for and rest easy after several years of being my father’s primary caregiver.

Remembering Dad

In years past, I would call my father on his birthday or sometimes send him a card. He wasn’t a sentimental person so that didn’t matter to him. In a strange sort of way though, I felt closer to my father this week than on prior birthdays.

My father’s rosary

My father’s birthday fell on a Wednesday, the day that I regularly attend a church service and devote a large block of time in prayer. Although not Catholic, I keep his rosary with me during these times. Yesterday as I clutched it and prayed, I sensed his presence and his peace.

When the family went through my father’s personal belongings, I was surprised to find the rosary. He turned away from his Catholic roots many, many years ago. Dad was a born again Christian, yet he still had his rosary—although he probably forgot about it long ago. It was broken and not much to look at—black with small wooden beads.

All of my siblings and family are now Protestant (we were raised Catholic) so I knew no one would want it. Since the Catholic Church played such a significant role in my mother’s peaceful passing and my healing, I knew I couldn’t let it be discarded.

Remembering Mom

Much like Wednesday’s remembrance of my father, I mark my mother’s birthday with pleasant memories of her. I don’t have either of the rosaries I bought her on my trips back home. Both were lost. The only mementos I received after she died was a bracelet I bought her for Mother’s Day—the last time I saw her alive—and a remnant of the chain from the first communion cross pendant I gave her on my 50^th birthday.

My mother’s chain & bracelet

Mom’s first posthumous birthday also fell on a Wednesday, soon after I had started my personal weekly prayer vigils two years ago. Her birthday was only a few weeks after she died.

I vividly remember that day because after my prayer time, I had a beautiful song waiting for me on my phone (via email) from Pedro. It was “Rome”, the second song I knew he composed. He sent it out of the blue, not knowing it was my mother’s birthday. It immediately brought tears to my eyes due to its sheer beauty and the perfect timing of its receipt. That song was a precious gift, which for me, is forever linked to my healing and my mother’s passing.

Still Grieving?

I think I can comfortably say that my grieving for my father is done. When the time is right and I return to the house he called home for the last 35+ years, I suspect a new wave of sadness will hit me. Then when I step on Spanish soil in two months, and meet Rosa face to face, more tears will be shed over the passing of our mothers and how God has beautifully connected us.

Two deaths. Two eulogies. In two years. And now two posthumous birthdays that I privately celebrate with gratitude to God for the perfect way He orchestrated my parent’s passings and the healing in my life. I think that’s worth some quiet time of reflection, don’t you?

3 Comments

by ardisanelson on April 26, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Healing & Recovery, My Spanish Connection, Relationships & Family

Tagged birthday, Catholic, celebrations, Christianity, family, gifts, God, gratitude, grieving our losses, healing, Mother's Day, music, My Spanish Connection, Pedro Gonzalez Arbona, piano compositions, Rosa, saying goodbye

Posted by ardisanelson on April 26, 2013

https://ardisanelson.com/2013/04/26/dad-mom-birthday-reflections/

A Letter to My Mom

Letter writing is a great way to work through some of our past hurts. Sometimes the recipient of the letter doesn’t even have to receive it. It can just be for our own healing. Whether they receive it or not, the key is letting go of an expected outcome and allowing God to work in the process.

Journeys To Mother Love

Reading each of the stories in “Journeys to Mother Love” gave me a glimpse into the lives and pain of eight other women who have allowed Christ to bring healing into their hearts. I love reading stories like these because they impart hope and inspiration that each of us can connect with or apply to our lives.

One of my takeaways was from the story written by Verna Hills Simms, “Take Care of Your Mother.” I was touched by how she writes a letter to her deceased mother every year on her mother’s birthday. I thought it was a wonderful idea, and decided to do the same thing. With the anniversary of my mother’s passing a few weeks ago, I chose to do it in honor of that occasion.

Dear Mom,
It has been two years since the day the Lord took you home to be with Him. I still…

View original post 387 more words

2 Comments

by ardisanelson on March 5, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Healing & Recovery, Identity, My Spanish Connection, Relationships & Family

Tagged Christianity, family, God, gratitude, heaven, hope, identity, leaving a legacy, letter writing, My Spanish Connection, Pedro Gonzalez Arbona, Rosa, Spain

Posted by ardisanelson on March 5, 2013

https://ardisanelson.com/2013/03/05/a-letter-to-my-mom/

WELCOME to my site!

I'm an author, writer, speaker, mentor & mom. I've struggled to find my voice all my life as I lived in the shadows of a mother with mental illness. Thankfully that was not the legacy that she handed down to me. It took a lot of recovery and deep healing work to rise above it.

I am thankful to God for Making Me Bold in the process. Now I use my writing and speaking voice to help others on their journey to turn healing into hope.
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