Holy Week, Holy Waiting

I am excited! Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, and I feel like a kid who is eagerly awaiting Santa Claus to arrive. I can’t even remember what I believed about Easter as a kid and the Easter Bunny—real or unreal. Yes, I partook in Easter eggs hunts at various times. It must’ve been at the Catholic Church we attended when I was young. Unfortunately both of my parents are gone now and I can’t get those details of my childhood filled in.

My father rarely went to church with us. It was always my mother who got us ready and dragged us to Catechism (Catholic Sunday school). I think my father must’ve been what our pastor calls ‘Chreasters.’ Those are people who only go to church on Christmas and Easter. I was one of those people in years gone by as well.

Almudena Cathedral, Madrid, where I worshiped one day while on mission to Spain, October 2014.

Church as a Priority

I am at a stage in my life where I routinely go to church year-round, trying to give each weekend service a place of priority and honor. Christmas is, of course, a special time to celebrate Jesus’ birth. However, Easter feels especially sacred and uplifting to me. There are many reasons for that.

It hasn’t been over-commercialized like Christmas.
It doesn’t come with the holiday parties and stress of holiday expectations.
It hasn’t been made into a non-Christian holiday.
It comes in the spring, when flowers are blooming, the days are getting longer, and the sun is starting to shine.
It is preceded by Lent—a time of deliberate prayerful preparation to celebrate Jesus’ resurrection.
It signifies how to acquire salvation and eternal life—with one simple decision to accept Jesus at face value, as the Son of God.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16, NIV

Waiting for the Story to End

Lent has ended, and now are the days of waiting—the three days between Jesus’ brutal crucifixion on Good Friday (yesterday) and his resurrection on Easter Sunday.

We know how the story ends. Does that make the waiting easier? Does it make it irrelevant or less interesting? If we knew the ending to the books we read, would we stop reading them? Maybe that depends on whether or not it is a good ending—one we like.

The Easter Story is the greatest story ever told! I never tire of hearing it, especially so in a solemn church service like I did last night. (Read the Passion of Christ in John 18-19:42.) It should make us shout for joy!

Because the waiting isn’t just for Easter, it’s for the return of Jesus. Celebrating Easter, Holy Week, and Lent is ultimately celebrating in the here and now what our future brings. There is no mystery to the ending. However, there is mystery and intrigue in how we live in anticipation of what is to come.

Our lives don’t have to be mundane and boring. We can approach our days and our ways with the same excitement and fervor with which we celebrate Easter. There are blessings in it for us, for those we are in relationship with, and for those we come in contact with.

Easter: A New Beginning!

Easter marks the end of waiting for the Messiah, for us now and for the Jews and Gentiles over 2,000 years ago. Some might say the ending was marked by the birth of Jesus. I can’t argue with that. However, my point is that Jesus’ death and resurrection marks the fulfillment of over 300 Old Testament scripture that foretold His ministry, death, and resurrection. The resurrection is the linchpin of our Christian faith.

Easter really marks the beginning. It is the beginning of our Christian lives. It is the beginning of the Church. And that makes me giddy like a child—and worth the wait. It’s been a great week of anticipation. It’s been a great week of holy waiting, filled with church services, fasting, and prayer. I’m ready to celebrate.

Christ is risen! He is risen, indeed!

Keeping our Loved ones’ Memories Alive, Part 2

In Part 1 of this post series, I wrote about my 3^rd annual letter to my mother after her passing, and shared an excerpt. Does writing a letter to a deceased loved one seem like an odd thing to do? I wondered that myself.

Chapter 3 is Verna’s story.

I got the idea from Verna Hill Simms, author (Water Under the Bridge) and contributor to Journeys to Mother Love (along with me). In her story, “Take Care of Your Mother,” she described how she writes a letter to her deceased mother every year on her mother’s birthday. At the time our book was published, she had written over 30 letters.

Wisdom from an Older Woman

I reached out to Verna, who will be 94 next month, to ask about her annual practice. We had never communicated in the past, so I was delighted to receive such a timely and thoughtful response to my email. Here is Verna’s response:

“I write to Mother because she loved getting mail and I do too. I feel it is another way I can keep her memory alive for my daughters and grandchildren. Hopefully after I am gone the letters will be read and perhaps kept. I have a few letters my mother wrote to her sister around the time I was born and one my paternal grandmother wrote when I was 2 or 3 and I prize them.”

“Keep her memories alive!” Yes, that is it in a nutshell. Writing to our deceased loved ones is a way of keeping their memories alive. It is not just for our benefit, but as in Verna’s case, maybe our letters can be handed down and treasured by future generations as well.

The Lost Art of Letter Writing

My mother lived her last seven years in nursing homes. I took up writing letters to her. She couldn’t easily read them and so the nursing staff would read them to her. Because of her health, she couldn’t write back to me. (I received a few of my cards and letters to her with her personal belongings after she passed away.)

letter I have a stack of letters from my mother dating back to my days in college. I have read them from time to time. I didn’t appreciate them much in my youth, but now I have a new lens—one of a mother whose children are leaving the nest and is learning to let go. Her letters comfort me, as I see her love for me in new ways. They keep her memories alive.

My letter writing has also turned to Rosa, Pedro’s mother, in Spain, commencing with the terminal diagnosis of her mother four years ago. Rosa and I still communicate through the aid of an online translator in our letters across the globe. These letters keep our relationship alive though 5,300 miles apart.

Unfortunately, letter writing is becoming a lost art. It is sadly being replaced by short bursts of text messages beeping on our phones! (But that is a whole other blog post.)

Benefits of Writing a Deceased Loved One

Because I started this practice of writing my deceased mother for continued healing of my mother/daughter wound, there are parts of my letters that are too personal to publically share or pass on to my family. However, my annual letters are definitely a way to keep my mother’s memories alive. It is a way to honor her life and her legacy by taking time out of my busy schedule to spend deliberate and thoughtful time with her.

When I asked my therapist about this practice she gave me lots of clarity and insight on why this is definitely a healthy practice, and worth continuing. Since my mother had a nervous breakdown when I was 6-years-old, I never really got to know her as a person, nor as an adult. By writing my mother now,

I am letting my mother get to know me.
I am having an adult conversation with her.
I am building my empathy as I see her through the eyes of an adult.
I am identifying who I am and learning more about myself.
I am having a relationship with her spirit, not the mentally ill woman she was. (It even feels sacred!)

Love to you Mom, and Happy Birthday!

Hearing these things gave me more confidence in pursuing this annual tribute to my mother. We weren’t close while she was alive. Her nervous breakdown when she was 35 years old changed the trajectory of our lives, separating us emotionally for the rest of her life.

Don’t Forget

I don’t want to forget her. I don’t want to forget the legacy that she left me. So I choose to keep that alive by writing her every year. More than that, I am writing about it here on my blog, to inspire others to likewise turn healing into hope.

My mother would’ve been 84 last week. Happy birthday Mom! It’s been great getting to know you!________________________________________________________________________________

More about Verna: Verna Hill Simms, started her writing career at the age of 80 after answering a small ad in her local newspaper to form a writers group. She joined the Jefferson County (Missouri) Writer’s Society, saying it has been one of the best decisions she ever made.

Verna’s book, Water Under the Bridge, is a historical novel, published by Rocking Horse Publishing in March 2014. Her book is mostly fiction, but a lot of the story mirrors the life she led in the 1920s along with her friends. Water Under the Bridge is available in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon. For more about Verna’s journey into publishing, click here.

1 Comment

by ardisanelson on March 30, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Healing & Recovery, Identity

Tagged adapting to change, family, God, gratitude, healing, hope, Journeys to Mother Love, leaving a legacy, letter writing, letting go, mother love, saying goodbye, self-care, Spain

Posted by ardisanelson on March 30, 2015

https://ardisanelson.com/2015/03/30/keeping-our-loved-ones-memories-alive-part-2/

Keeping our Loved ones’ Memories Alive, Part 1

Every year I mark the anniversary of my mother’s passing by writing her a letter. For the past two years I’ve published excerpts of those letters online to model healing and vulnerability, and hopefully to inspire others to do the same. Those posts still rank among the most popular posts I’ve written.

Preparing to Write

This year’s letter, written on the eve of the 4^th anniversary of her passing, was just as hard to write as the few before. I warned my family days in advance that I would need some time to myself to do this annual practice. I had hoped to get away and work on the tribute scrapbook I started after her passing, but those plans fell through as well.

My family went out for the evening leaving me alone with my laptop and Zoe, our miniature Schnauzer and my faithful companion. In the past I had written her about the changes I was going through internally, and the decision I made to take medication for my ADHD. The latter decision was only possible because I had finally dealt with my fears of medication due in part to what I witnessed in her lifelong struggle with mental illness and psychiatric drugs.

What to Write About

This year, I pondered why I was writing her again. Was it a healthy thing to do—write a letter to a deceased person? I knew that letter writing was a good tool for healing. I used it before in my spiritual and recovery related classes. But what was the purpose in writing an annual letter? I sat with that indecision briefly, prayed about what was on my heart, and proceeded to pen my longest letter yet to my mother. (It seems I had a lot to say!)

Our happy family, before mom’s nervous breakdown, circa 1964.

Growing up without the emotional stability and attachment from my mother has left me longing in many areas of my life. I’ve gotten some of those maternal needs met through my Sisters in Christ and my long journey to love with my stepmother as well. Questions still linger though that are specific to my family of origin and what I didn’t get from her.

For instance, my mother spent many years seeing a psychiatrist. She never shared what happened in those sessions. I do know it was something that she looked forward to every week. I’ve re-entered the therapeutic process myself to deal with the effects of my ADHD and to support my son’s similar struggles. I too have come to look forward to those weekly visits and have more empathy for what my mother must’ve been going through. I imagine it was her lifeline, as my counseling sometimes feels like it is for me.

Reading my Letter

I chose to read my letter to my counselor and ask her my nagging question: “Is this healthy?”

She loved my question and enjoys watching how I am integrating the challenges I am facing as I come to terms with my ADHD. Her response to my question was a resounding “yes!” She went on to explain how my letters are catalysts for continued healing from my mother wound (by offering my forgiveness) and is bringing great revelation into who I am as a person (and connecting it to my mother). Those were welcome words to someone who at times feels like I am walking around in a state of disequilibrium.

The main point I finished my letter with was how my mother’s faith changed mine as well:

“The faith steps that I took to minister to you in your final months, and to bury you, gave me such a depth of trust in the Lord. It brought me back to Him in ways that I wouldn’t have possibly considered in the past.

It led me to Spain (and France), not just to meet Rosa and see the sights, but to pray for His people there. He prepared me for that and met me there…

Prayers sent heavenward in the French Alps, Sept. 2014.

…If I have any legacy or fruit of righteousness that will grow in those countries, you will have it too. Your faith planted the seeds for me. I hope you are privy to that now and have a glimpse into what lies ahead for the Church.

…Thank you Mom for your faith, for investing in me when I was young, and fighting the good fight until the end. Your story is important. I pray that in time, I can share it to a larger audience, and that it inspires others to embrace forgiveness and healing so that they too may live with the eternal Hope that comes from Above.

Love,
Ardis”

In Part 2 of this post series, I’ll address other benefits of this annual practice and introduce you to another author who has been doing this for over 30 years.

2 Comments

by ardisanelson on March 27, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Healing & Recovery, Identity

Tagged adapting to change, Christianity, forgiveness, France, gratitude, grieving our losses, healing, hope, identity, leaving a legacy, letter writing, life's challenges, mental health, mother love, relationships, saying goodbye, self-care

Posted by ardisanelson on March 27, 2015

https://ardisanelson.com/2015/03/27/keeping-our-loved-ones-memories-alive-part-1/

“You’re Just Like Your Mother”

Think about this: If someone said, “You’re just like your mother,” would you be embarrassed or delighted? Would you feel shame? Or gratitude? Or something in between? It’s all part of the journey to mother love.

Journeys To Mother Love

Just like my mother: a rare photo of my mother, me and my oldest son, 1996

“You’re just like your mother!” Those words and that fear have been engrained in my mind and my psyche throughout my adulthood. They were like a blemish on my face that screamed for attention every time I got a glance of myself in the mirror. Not literally, but that’s how often the message surfaced.

I didn’t want to be anything like my mother! That comparison brought too much embarrassment, too much shame. After all, she was mentally ill.

My fears started as a teen. Whether you’re an adult (who once was a teen) or the parent of a teen, you know the feelings of embarrassment that can arise. As teens start to separate from their parents, test their independence, and explore who they are, they veer away from parental input and advice. They don’t want…

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4 Comments

by ardisanelson on March 25, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Healing & Recovery, Identity, Relationships & Family

Tagged adapting to change, childhood memories, encouragement, family, identity, letting go, mother love, parenting

Posted by ardisanelson on March 25, 2015

https://ardisanelson.com/2015/03/25/youre-just-like-your-mother/

What’s Cooking: Mealtime Family Prayers

Our family recently started a new prayer practice before meals that has me very excited and a bit reminiscent of my youth. I was raised in a Catholic home and every night as the family gathered around the dinner table, we always said grace before the meal.

Childhood Prayer Practice

It was the same prayer every time. Memorizing that early on in my childhood was like memorizing the Hail Mary or Our Father Prayers. In fact, that was probably the only prayers I ever really learned. It was routine, and I never put any thought or reflection into the words.

Our meal prayer was this:

“Bless us, O Lord and these Thy gifts which we are about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen.”

Reading and understanding that prayer now, I can see how it draws us back to God and reminds us that the food we eat is a gift from Him (Thy bounty). As a kid, I was thrown off by the Old English ‘thy’ and probably the concept that our food came from God, when I knew my mother had just prepared it. How confusing to a mere child.

Spanish Prayer Practice

When I traveled to Spain and lived with Pedro’s family a few summers ago, I was curious to see how this Catholic family prayed. In fact, I went so far as to try to learn the Our Father in Spanish. I could follow the words at Mass, but my effort to memorize it was futile.

English prayer cube

My first few meals in Spain, Rosa, Pedro’s mother, prayed in Spanish. I have no idea what she prayed. Then one day they asked me to bless the meal. Naturally I prayed in English—something inspired by the Holy Spirit and more in tune with how I normally pray before meals.

On another day, I was surprised by a family prayer practice they showed me. They put a wooden cube, about 4 inches in diameter on the table. Each side of the cube had a short Spanish prayer engraved into the wood. This was a prayer practice handed down from Rosa’s mother. It was a novel way to let chance or the Holy Spirit dictate which prayer was prayed before the meal. (I had never seen something like this before, but in writing this post, I found numerous sites that sell them online.)

Our Family Prayer Practice

Throughout the years our family meal times have been led mostly by my husband or me. We encouraged the kids to pray, but they were often reluctant.

I have fond memories of my youngest son, Cameron’s, pre-meal prayer. It was the same every time. Regrettably I didn’t write it down, and forgot most of it over the years.

My sons praying at dinner, January 2000.

It was so precious, and blew us all away the first time he said it. This is what I do remember:

“Please give everyone in this whole entire world wisdom and please send your angels down to protect us every day and night. Amen.”

Taught, caught, or Holy Spirit inspired? I have no idea, but it always left us smiling.

Our 2015 Prayer Practice

Fast forward to the beginning of 2015 (and back to the first paragraph of this post). I’ve had a book of prayers in my possession as a keepsake from my deceased Aunt Ardis (also my godmother) for several years. It is titled, 365 Table Graces for the Christian Home by Charles L. Wallis (1967, Harper & Row Publishers). It is almost 50 years old and in excellent condition.

My Aunt Ardis was a devout Catholic who served faithfully in her church community. The book was bequeathed to me when I went on a trip back to her home in Wisconsin. I brought home many of my Aunt’s treasured spiritual mementos, like this book, along with some china and silver, and a trove of letters and photos from my childhood.

Week 13 prayers & keepsake bookmark

We tried reading the mealtime prayers when I first got the book, but couldn’t ever get in the groove of hearing the Holy Spirit speak through the Old English. But now, after deepening my relationship with the Lord the last few years, it practically sings to me. Even better, my family is enjoying them.

They aren’t just a blessing over the meal. They are like having scripture read before a meal—not directly with references, but in general, with God’s promises and His love being poured out over our family mealtime together. So years later, part of my Aunt Ardis’ legacy of faith is being modeled back into my family. Precious, indeed!

Table Graces by Charles L. Wallis

Here’s a few of the prayers from 365 Table Graces for the Christian Home:

“May our family devotions and prayers daily inspire us to do thy will, O God, even as thy Son Jesus found in his small home in Nazareth the inspiration and guidance to undertake thy holy work.”

“May our home be founded, heavenly Father, upon him who is the Rock of true faith and not upon the shifting sands of doubt, and may we accept this food with prayerful thanksgiving and not with spiritual apathy.”

“Great Physician, bless all who suffer and are afflicted, use us in thy healing ministry, and grant us patience and hope in our times of difficulty.”

Do you sense the invitation of the Lord’s Power and Presence to join Him in your daily walk through these prayers?

Table Graces for Everyone

I was pleasantly surprised to find this book does exist on Amazon. One copy is actually in new condition! I found a large selection of similar books on Amazon for anyone interested in taking their table prayers to a new level. Click here for a list.

While this book would be hard for children to understand, there are others that are more geared to young families. Wouldn’t it be a great way to introduce children to prayer and inadvertently share the Gospel with them at the same time?

Every Christian needs table graces in their home.

What is your mealtime prayer practice or memorable prayer time growing up?

A New Lenten Journey ~ Allowing God More Access

Here we are two weeks into Lent and I haven’t written a post about this time of year. No big deal you may think, because you don’t recognize Lent or do anything special to participate in it. Well, maybe it’s time you considered it. Let me explain…

lent 40 days

Let’s Consider Lent

Lent is the 40-day period approaching Holy Week and Easter Sunday, usually associated with fasting, repentance, or sacrificial giving. It is commonly considered a Catholic ritual, but I know of several local Protestant churches and friends who routinely participate in Lenten and Holy Week services, prayer practices, and such, just like they do for Advent (the season preceding Christmas).

This is my 5^th year of actively participating in the Lenten season. I’ve written about it several times: how and why I stumbled onto this practice, how it changed me and what I fasted from, and even about my son’s Lenten journey last year. This year I was at a loss on how to change my Lenten practices, what to give up, etc. I am again abstaining from alcohol and sweets. Although, it seems to be part of an annual body cleanse now more than a strictly spiritual sacrifice.

Yesterday, I got an answer to how this Lent will be different. It wasn’t about doing something different, it was about being something different. The only way I can be different is to allow God access to my heart and mind. And He gets hours of it in our weekly appointment at my sacred space.

Outside at the Catholic church.

Cups of ash at the altar.

Marked with ashes.

Priestly procession at the Catholic church.

He reminded me that after four years of dedicated weekly prayer time, that He has already transformed me from the inside out and made me into something new (yet again). In our time together, He routinely speaks to me, guides me, and gives me peace. He convicts me of my sinful ways and points me back to His will and ways. (Although I do often wrestle with him when it comes to letting go of my grip on things.)

My willingness to enter the Catholic church over four years ago and start my weekly appointments with God have given Him more access to me not just at Lent, but year-round. He reminded me that I don’t need to do anything different for Lent this year.

Seek Me in this Place

I am to just keep coming, keep seeking His will, keep listening for His voice, and keep writing about His messages to me—either in private or publically on my blog. He will let me know when and how much to share.

Habakkuk 2:1 says, “I will climb up to my watchtower and stand at my guardpost. There I will wait to see what the Lord says and how He will answer.”

Oddly enough, my watchtower is in a Catholic church, and my guardpost is in the sanctity of its small chapel.

Listening for God at the guardpost (local chapel).

It started with the season of Lent five years ago. I embraced the mystery of Jesus there, a very unusual thing for a Protestant to do. He was stretching me outside of my comfort zone as He showed up and kept wooing me to seek Him there every week.

It changed me. It changed my prayer practices. It has also trickled into my family, has rubbed off on some of my friends, and is modeled in the groups I lead and participate in.

How are you Giving God more Access?

So the message I am sharing today is about doing whatever it takes to give God more access in your life.

Make time in your schedule. Find a quiet place. Read the Bible. Pray. Listen. Record what happens.

Lent is a the perfect time to do that, and make this Easter not just one of those Sundays that you have to go to church. Make it a season and way to give God access to your life in new and mysterious ways. And you’ll never be the same again.

How are you giving God more access to you? Where is your watchtower? I’d love to hear about what you are doing for Lent.

Going Gaga for the Academy Awards

I woke up yesterday morning to see a flood of social media attention to the 87^th annual Academy Awards show. That is nothing unusual on the day following the annual telecast. What stood out was not people weighing in on the winners and losers, but on “The Sound of Music” tribute performance by Lady Gaga.

Going Gaga for the Sound of Music

I am not a Lady Gaga fan, but I am a big fan of “The Sound of Music.” Her performance was incredible, giving me new respect for her musical talent. She was a stunning vision of beauty in a shimmery white sleeveless evening gown and long blonde hair that caressed her bare shoulders. (I was a bit distracted by her obvious love for tattoos, and tried to look past that to enjoy the overall performance.) The stage setting was also beautifully choreographed, with a background of white birch trees, surrounded by a virtuoso of violinists, and framed by twinkling lights arched over the stage.

If you missed her performance, you can watch it here.

I’ve written about my connection with “The Sound of Music” on other occasions—once after attending a Sound of Music Sing-A-Long event, and another post during my adventures in Spain. I felt inspired to write a post about this again the night of the Oscars but decided against it.

“How silly to write about the Academy Awards,” I thought to myself.

After all, isn’t it just an awards show geared to the rich and famous, and full of Hollywood hype? Truthfully, that used to be my opinion of it, not really paying much attention to the awards, and rarely seeing the nominated films. That has changed in recent years with my Spanish connection and friendship with Pedro González Arbona, a young film composer.

Going Gaga for Nominated Films

Every year, Pedro sends my family his Oscar predictions and posts them on Facebook. He also sends me personal reviews of which movies he thinks I would like, taking into account my dislike of violence and my Christian values. My front row seat to his blossoming music career has also given me insight to the world of film composing. He shares his favorite composers and film music with me as well.

A few days ago, my family went to see “The Imitation Game,” nominated for Best Picture and starring Benedict Cumberbatch, nominated for Best Actor in a Leading Role. It was a great movie. As a writer I was drawn into the way they told the story, interweaving the past and present from the perspective of Alan Turing (played by Cumberbatch). I loved the history, especially having now traveled to Europe. I loved the unfolding of the story and the development of the characters. And I loved the music!

the-imitation-game-poster

At the end of the movie, I patiently waited for the name of the composer to appear on the screen. As I watched the credits scroll before me and was immersed in the music, I thought how the music sounded like Pedro’s music. I thought, “Pedro can compose like this.” I’ve seen and heard it before. Regrettably, I didn’t do my homework before going to see the movie or I would’ve paid more attention to the music. That is because the film was scored by Alexandre Desplat (also nominated for Best Original Score)—Pedro’s favorite composer.

Going Gaga for Film Music

I only caught the tail end of the Academy Awards show, rushing home from a meeting at church, just in time to catch Lady Gaga’s amazing performance. Pedro was watching the show live (televised starting at 3 AM in Spain) and texted me during the performance. We both have a love and connection to this musical. He played the music in our home the summer we met and attended a live performance of the musical in the mountains near Leavenworth, Washington. It was a very special and memorable evening.

At the end of the performance, Julie Andrews came out on the stage, hugged Lady Gaga, and thanked her for such a fitting tribute to the movie. Julie Andrews proceeded to introduce the nominees for Best Original Score and made some opening remarks about how music cements our memories in the film going experience.

Pedro texted me: “Here is the moment.” He was predicting Alexandre Desplat to win for “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” Earlier in the day he said to listen for his scream if Alexandre won the award.

Alexandre did win the award! I let out a squeal myself. Moments later my phone pinged his response: “Incredible,” Pedro texted me. “Did you hear me scream?”

“Si, y mi?” I texted back. (English translation: Yes, and me?)

Alexandre Desplat acceptance speech for Best Original Score/The Grand Budapest Hotel (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

Why was I so excited? Why was I so engaged in the Oscars and interested in this award category? Because I believe in Pedro’s dream, and I know how important film composing is to his future.

However, I’m not the only one. After last year’s winner was announced for Best Original Score (Steven Price for Gravity), Pedro received an email from the producer/director of his movie “Tempting Fate,” offering the same kind of encouragement to Pedro. He sees the possibilities in Pedro.

A few minutes after Alexandre Desplat accepted his award, Graham Moore was announced as the winner for Best Adapted Screenplay (The Imitation Game). In his acceptance speech, he mentioned his attempted suicide as a teen because he felt “different and weird.” He encouraged young people watching at home to keep believing in themselves and that one day they would have their moment. It was truly inspiring.

Going Gaga for Our Dreams

For me, the Academy Awards show is about people working hard, believing in themselves (against the odds) and fulfilling their dreams. Just like I believe Pedro will one day. He has the talent and the gift of composing beautiful music. With a little luck, and I believe the Lord’s favor, he will walk across that stage one day, or at least be nominated, if not in America, in Spain for their prestigious Goya Awards.

So watching Lady Gaga and the 87^th Academy Awards ceremony on Sunday night was very personal to me. My heart has been blessed with the sound of music:

Pedro’s simple piano playing of the Rogers & Hammerstein classics,
Pedro’s first solo piano compositions (Introducing Pedro González Arbona),
Pedro’s movie soundtrack pieces for “Tempting Fate,” and most recently
the release of his full orchestral album, Memories.

Memories, available worldwide on iTunes, Amazon & Spotify

I went gaga for Lady Gaga’s tribute to the musical that has touched my life, and I continue to go gaga for the future of Pedro González Arbona. (I am his American manager after all.)

Congratulations Alexandre Desplat and all the winners and nominees of the 87^th annual Academy Awards. Dream on!

3 Comments

by ardisanelson on February 24, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Pedro's Musical Pursuits

Tagged Academy Awards, Alexandre Desplat, encouragement, following your dreams, Julie Andrews, Lady Gaga, movie composing, music, Pedro Gonzalez Arbona, piano compositions, Tempting Fate, The Sound of Music

Posted by ardisanelson on February 24, 2015

https://ardisanelson.com/2015/02/24/going-gaga-academy-awards/

Tempting Fate in Houston, Part 3 ~ Meet the Press

While Pedro González Arbona, a young Spanish film composer, and I attended the VIP screening of Tempting Fate (produced by KevStel Group) in Houston over the 4^th of July last year, we walked the red carpet and witnessed much of the paparazzi and press attention directed at the actors and movie producers. Pedro had his time in the spotlight as well. It was indeed an exciting evening!

On the red carpet at the Tempting Fate premiere, July 4, 2014, Houston, TX.

On the red carpet with Pedro González Arbona at the Tempting Fate premiere, July 4, 2014, Houston, TX.

I was proud to be there for Pedro, traveling from Seattle, just to meet up for this special milestone in his life. An avid photographer myself, I was happy to join in with the professional photographers to capture the memories for Pedro’s portfolio as well. I expect that was only the first of many opportunities Pedro will have to participate in these types of events.

Opportunities to Meet the Press

As I mentioned in Part 1 of this series, Pedro had live press interviews the night of the premiere. He was interviewed on the red carpet by two Houston stations: Sky Houston, from Majic 102.1 radio station and Usenika Usoro from Afro Centric Television Network. (Unfortunately my requests for copies of these interviews went unanswered.)

Pedro was interviewed by radio personality Sky Houston.

Pedro’s red carpet interview in Houston.

The next day, Pedro was scheduled to do a television interview for SpeaksTV, a local cable channel in Houston. Most of the actors had arrived in Houston before the movie screening and already had their interviews. They were on their way back to LA and other locations across the U.S. that they called home.

Watch the short video clip below for a teaser with each person in the show!

Like the night before, we were again direction and GPS challenged on our travels in the Houston area. This time the GPS led us in a very circuitous route over surface streets to a multi-story office building outside of downtown. There were virtually no cars in the parking lot on this Saturday afternoon, the building was locked, and we couldn’t find a sign to confirm we were at the right place. We used the after-hours security phone and finally reached someone who could let us in the building.

In the ‘Green Room’

When we arrived at the television studio, we were greeted by Kevin Nwankwor, Tempting Fate producer/director. We apologized for our tardiness, but luckily there was no harm done as there were other interviews still in progress. We sat in the green room (my comical name for the waiting room, in reference to the TV guest’s pre-interview room commonly referred to on NBC’s Tonight Show). While waiting, we conversed with Kevin and his wife and producer Unoma Nwankwor, executive producer Emmanuel Ojeah, and Ramsey Nouah, Nigerian actor and star of Tempting Fate. Ramsey is the winner of the 2010 African Academy Award for a lead role in the Nigerian movie, Figurine.

Actor Ramsey Nouah in the SpeaksTV studio.

Pedro with Ramsey Nouah, aka Ugo.

Nollywood, Nigeria’s version of Hollywood, is a growing film industry and the 2^nd largest in the world after Bollywood in India. The Nwankwor’s are from Nigeria, and with Ramsey’s affiliation with Tempting Fate, the Nigerian audience is a very important market for this movie. The movie will open in theaters across Nigeria on Friday, July 17, 2015.

While waiting for Pedro’s interview, we learned a bit about Nigeria. At the time Nigeria was in the early aftermath of the kidnapping of a group of girls by terrorist Boko Haram. The Nigerian government’s response was a hot topic of conversation.

Kevin Nwankwor (writer/director/producer), Pedro, and Unoma Nwankwor (producer)

I asked Ramsey about Nigeria’s spiritual climate in relation to the Christian theme of Tempting Fate. Nigeria is equally divided between Christianity and Islam. The conversation turned to social media. In referencing Ramsey’s Facebook page (over 100,000 likes at the time), we found out that his identity had been stolen on Facebook and that the page wasn’t his. He doesn’t use social media at all. I was saddened to hear it, realizing how frustrating it would be to have that sort of false promotion and unauthorized use of one’s personal name. It was shocking!

We were the last to go in for the interview. Before we did, I gave Unoma, who is also a successful author of several Christian fiction novels, a signed copy of my book, Journeys to Mother Love. She graciously offered me the opportunity to guest blog on her site, unomanwankwor.com. That post, Author Spotlight ~ Ardis A. Nelson, was published in August 2014.

We bid the Nwankwor’s farewell, thanked them for their invitation to the premiere, and pledged our continuing support for the movie.

Pedro’s Interview at SpeaksTV

Pedro and I were greeted by Voké Ogueh, producer for Talk Time Show, the SpeaksTV program that was spotlighting Tempting Fate. Voké was at the premiere the night before, but we didn’t get a chance to meet.

Voké prepping Pedro for his interview segments.

Talk Time Show is not filmed as an interview dialogue between two people but is pre-recorded as separate segments. I was invited to join Pedro in the interview, but declined. This was Pedro’s moment to shine. I watched the filming from behind the camera man’s angle, and occasionally coached him.

Pedro at ease in front of the camera.

I could tell that Pedro was very accustomed to being in front of an audience. He was a natural on camera and spoke with clarity and command. (He has acted in several theatrical productions in Madrid, and also starred and co-directed “Noises Off” in December 2013.) Not having the pleasure of seeing him act in person, and certainly not in English, this was a priceless experience for me.

Voké prepped Pedro telling him what they wanted to know about the movie’s music. In the first segment Pedro explained how he composed the music, first being inspired and touched by reading the screenplay. When he received the film, his music was inspired more by the actors and how moving the scenes were on screen.

Pedro and me with Voké on set at the SpeaksTV studio.

In another video segment, Pedro was asked to describe some of the music. He spoke about the Brother’s theme music that he wrote with multiple variations throughout the film, matching the mood of the scenes. I watched Pedro compose some of that music while in Spain the year before and was quick to recognize it in the movie: violin, cello, and guitar—a trio of beautiful strings.

Voké was particularly interested in the African music in the movie. In another segment, Pedro described how he added African instruments to some of the songs and a female African soprano was hired to add humming as well.

Pedro wrapped up his studio recording with a 15-second teaser for the show (below). For the benefit of their Spanish speaking viewers in Houston, they also had him close the commercial teaser in Spanish. We wrapped up our time at the studio with a few photos on the set.

Editing of the interviews and adding Pedro’s music to the final show took a few weeks. The interview was broadcast in Houston on July 26 (video below) and posted on youtube.com for viewing online. (Pedro’s segment starts at 9:30 into the video.)

Farewell to Houston

Pedro and I had a leisurely dinner at a very American restaurant at The Galleria and had a long overdue conversation to catch up on family and personal news. We ended our day by reviewing, selecting, and posting a photo album on Pedro’s Facebook professional page. (Like it to show your support of his musical endeavors.)

Touring the Johnson Space Center.

The following day was reserved for a tour of the Johnson Space Center. Pedro was on his way back to Madrid on Monday morning. It was a whirlwind trip—less than three days together on this once in a lifetime experience.

Click image to sample soundtrack or purchase on Amazon.

I’m ever so grateful that I was there to witness Pedro’s dreams come to life on the big screen. His star is starting to rise. For a few days it shined over Houston, soon it will shine across Nigeria as well, and hopefully over all of America too.

The Tempting Fate soundtrack will be released on February 12, 2015. And then everyone will get to hear for themselves how great this soundtrack is.

Stay tuned for lots more exciting news about Tempting Fate and the music of Pedro González Arbona!

2 Comments

by ardisanelson on February 9, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Pedro's Musical Pursuits

Tagged following your dreams, Hollywood, KevStel Group, movie composing, music, Nollywood, Pedro Gonzalez Arbona, Ramsey Nouah, SpeaksTV, Talk Time Show, Tempting Fate

Posted by ardisanelson on February 9, 2015

https://ardisanelson.com/2015/02/09/tempting-fate-in-houston-meet-the-press/

Super Bowl 49: Dealing with the Agony of Defeat

I stayed up late into the night after my husband went to sleep on Super Bowl Sunday. I surfed the internet and flipped the channels on the TV remote control for any news I could possibly find to help console me. As strange as it may sound, I was grieving the loss suffered by our hometown heroes, the Seattle Seahawks, in Super Bowl 49.

It was heartbreaking! With less than 30 seconds left in the game, Seahawks’ QB Russell Wilson’s pass was intercepted by the New England Patriots’ wide receiver Malcolm Butler on the 1-yard line. The game was over.

Final score: Patriot’s 28, Seahawks 24!

Grieving the Loss

Shock, disbelief and disappointment filled the homes and hearts of the ’12s’, loyal Seahawks fans, across the city, the state, the nation, and the world.

Facebook was filled with posts from friends who were disappointed. Most of them were also filled with gratitude for our team and the amazing season they gave us. Some were quick to jump on the bandwagon of questioning the last call and why the ball was not given to Marshawn Lynch—letting their frustrations out on Facebook. That play and that decision will be debated for years—and probably never forgotten.

I didn’t feel like writing after Sunday’s game like I did two weeks ago, or like I did after last year’s Super Bowl game. I was too numb and in a state of shock. My emotions were also in a bit of a roller coaster. At one point, I even wondered if I was living in some sort of dream. Did that really just happen?

I soon realized I was rapidly experiencing the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They are not just stages that we go through over the loss of a loved one. It is what we experience in any type of significant or unexpected loss.

High Hopes for a Victory

I guess I had some pretty high hopes around that game.

Why was that? The Seattle Seahawks have a great team of talented players and coaches. That is for sure. It was also their never give up attitude, their optimism, and how they connected as a team—like a band of brothers. More than that though, it is because this team commanded such a high regard for its fan support (the 12s) and they openly shared about their faith in God.

I’m sad for the Seahawks players. I’m sad for the community.

I’m also incredibly proud of the national spotlight that this team has brought to our city. I’m proud of the sense of unity and passion that has been ignited in our community.

Facing our Failures

Naturally in the post-game interviews, the players were somber. Yet I also saw tremendous courage, dignity, and humility as responsibility was taken for the plays and decisions made in the game.

The Seattle Seahawks are a class act. (Yes, I saw the mini-brawl on the field. Bruce Irvin was quick to apologize to the press and on social media.)

Two weeks ago in the NFC Championship game, the Seahawks stopped the Green Bay Packers from stealing the game and our 12^th man joy. On Super Bowl Sunday, it was the New England Patriots who ‘stole’ the game from us with their miraculous interception. (Some might say that it was karma, but I don’t believe in that.) We weren’t cheated out of a victory like in 2006 when the referees made some very questionable calls. This was a fair loss.

Nonetheless, it was deflating; and it robbed the 12s of their much anticipated joy.

What do we do after a defeat of this magnitude? Do we hide and lick our wounds? Or do we stand tall and move forward facing the challenges that surround us?

How we move on with life through the trials and tribulations is what shapes us, defines us, and builds our character. From what I’ve seen of our Seahawks, I believe they will persevere this storm and come back even stronger.

God is Still Good

The Seahawks gave us both the incredible thrill of victory and the painful agony of defeat. And they are still winners who are worthy of our 12^th man support, on and off the field. They are leaders and heroes!

Thank you Seattle Seahawks for such an exciting season of football, for playing your hearts out, for bringing pride to our community, and for displaying grace under fire.

Whether we win or lose, God is still good!

City pride, post-game fireworks display.

12th man support while arriving in Seattle.

Coach Pete Carroll greets fans in Seattle.

The 12s are ready for Super Bowl 50!

5 Comments

by ardisanelson on February 3, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, Spiritual Growth

Tagged adapting to change, feeling defeated, God, gratitude, grieving our losses, hope, identity, Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks, Super Bowl, trusting God

Posted by ardisanelson on February 3, 2015

https://ardisanelson.com/2015/02/03/super-bowl-49-agony-of-defeat/

Seahawks Pull Out a Victory with Attitude & Faith

I can’t believe what I witnessed on national television yesterday! The Seattle Seahawks broke the record for a comeback win in conference championship game history. Down by 16 points at half-time, they beat the Green Bay Packers 28-22 in overtime!

The anticipation was high in our city (Seattle), in our work places, in our churches, and in our homes the last week for the NFC playoff game against the Packers. Confidence was high, and people were downright cocky at times. It was all in good fun as we hoped for a chance to defend our Super Bowl Champion Title in Arizona next month.

Patience is a Virtue

After the first half of play, Seattle was down by 16 points: 16-0! How could that be? No team had ever come back to win a post-season game by that large a margin.

Who was that team playing on the field? It was as if they were stripped of all their magical football mojo and someone else was playing in their place. Turnovers…sacks…no first down conversions. It was painful to watch.

But they say patience is a virtue. Indeed it is.

The Seahawks won the game (final score 28-22) in overtime, scoring 14 points in the last 4 minutes of the regulated game. They did it with special teams, an onside kick (something I had never heard of) and playing like I’ve never seen football played before. Even the sportscasters were in a state of shock!

I know a winning team when I see one. And I know what it takes to persevere through hardship and fight to come out on top.

As I watched the game seem to slip away, I had a thought start to break through in my mind. It was this: “The game is being stolen from us!”

A Change in Attitude

It was at that point that I decided to get a hold of my emotions and start to pray for a shift in the outcome of the game. (Later that night while attending a recovery meeting at church, the other women also admitted praying and how they saw God show up in the final minutes of the game. It went from hopeless to hopeful. It was a miracle!)

I couldn’t believe it when I started to see a rapid fire turn of events on the field. The plays all started to go our way. Even with Seattle still at 2 touchdowns behind and 4 minutes left to play, the sports announcers started to say that the game wasn’t over yet.

I’m not going to recap what happened in the last few minutes of the game or how Seattle won in overtime. There are hundreds of sports writers who are doing that. My perspective as a fan of football and a believer in the power of our minds, is that the Seahawks ‘never quit, never doubt’ attitude is what won this game.

Russell Wilson and Seattle Seahawks in prayer after the game.

In the post-game interviews and comments, Russell Wilson, Seattle’s quarterback, quickly gave God credit for the victory saying, “God is good, all the time, every time.” He also predicted the game-ending touchdown pass to Jermaine Kearse minutes before.

Russell was confident. He bolstered his teammates throughout the game and he never gave up.

He is a true inspiration to others—his teammates, his community, and to kids everywhere.

That game was about to be stolen!!!! It is not unlike what Satan does to us every chance he gets.

He plants the seed of doubt.

He puts obstacles in our way to discourage us and to tempt us to give up.

And after a winning play (insert accomplishment or whatever gives you pleasure), he tries to sideline us and steal that joy!!!

No Joy Robbing Allowed!

Russell Wilson and the Seahawks were not going to let the Green Bay Packers steal their joy, or that of the 12th man contingent. They fought to the finish. They fought the good fight. And in the end if they lost that game, I would still have praise and pride in this team for giving us 12s the most exciting football game I’ve ever watched.

Post game comments by Seahawks Chairman Paul Allen

The 12th Man Factor

Russell Wilson’s triumphant victory

We know who wins the game of Life. Jesus wins in the end. So even during times when Satan wants to keep you down and steal your joy, remember it’s not over until it’s over. Ultimately Jesus wins, and so do you.

Fight the good fight. Don’t let Satan steal your joy in the process.

Seahawks 28, Packers 22, no joy robbing allowed! We are Super Bowl bound!

~ This post is happily shared with Christian Mommy Blogger/Fellowship Fridays.

5 Comments

by ardisanelson on January 19, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity

Tagged faithful, following your dreams, goals, God, gratitude, hope, identity, lies, perseverance, prayer, Russell Wilson, Satan, Seattle Seahawks, success, Super Bowl

Posted by ardisanelson on January 19, 2015

https://ardisanelson.com/2015/01/19/seahawks-victory-with-attitude-faith/

WELCOME to my site!

I'm an author, writer, speaker, mentor & mom. I've struggled to find my voice all my life as I lived in the shadows of a mother with mental illness. Thankfully that was not the legacy that she handed down to me. It took a lot of recovery and deep healing work to rise above it.

I am thankful to God for Making Me Bold in the process. Now I use my writing and speaking voice to help others on their journey to turn healing into hope.
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