All posts tagged My Spanish Connection

Celebrating Our Milestones

My definition of family has expanded greatly over the last few years and now includes Pedro’s family, the young man we hosted from Spain in the summer of 2010.  My whole world has expanded as a result of participating in the Education First international exchange program.  Mostly thanks to Pedro and his mother, Rosa, I’ve learned much about Spain—its culture, food, economy, music, and more.

On top of that, are the simple pleasures in celebrating life’s milestones together—the good and the bad.  Since meeting Pedro, we have mourned the loss of both families’ maternal grandmothers and the passing of my father this past summer.  We celebrated his high school graduation, the recording and creation of his CD of original piano compositions, and his acceptance at a Spanish university where he studies law and business administration.

When Pedro turned 18 last year, we heard about some of his “coming-of-age” milestones, like legally being able to drink and to vote.  He proudly sent a photo displaying his voter certificate as proof that he voted in the Spanish presidential elections last fall.

Pedro’s new car

Last week, Pedro marked another rite of passage—passing his driving exam and getting his driver’s license.  This was quite an achievement for him since he took the exam multiple times—a common occurrence in Spain due to the extreme level of difficulty.  Pedro sent videos of him and his family picking up his new car at the dealership and driving home.  It was an unexpected surprise and a delight to witness this first in his life.

As with so many of Pedro’s milestones, he wrote a song to commemorate it.  A year ago he wrote “Drive” (click link to hear the song), in anticipation of his learning to drive.  Now that goal is a reality. (“Drive” © 2011 Pedro González Arbona)

Celebrating our milestones via video, photos, music and Skype has certainly connected us, although we are 5,300 miles apart.  It is the next best thing to being there.

I enjoy celebrating life’s milestones with my extended family and others who have journeyed this road to wholeness with me.  Watching the videos of Pedro’s milestone reminded me of the many blessings I have had in my life since his arrival in our home.  Last fall, when I had a significant birthday celebration, Rosa and Pedro joined in via Skype.  I wrote about this celebration on the “Journeys to Mother Love” blog.

The physical expansion of my family has expanded my whole world perspective.  It has taken me beyond my local sphere of influence to a global sphere of influence—one that will include a monumental trip to Europe next summer.  In the meantime, I am continuing to celebrate life’s milestones along the way.

I encourage you to celebrate and commemorate the milestones in your life—no matter how big or small.  We can cling to these milestones, along with God’s Word, when times are rough.

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by ardisanelson on October 11, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in My Spanish Connection, Relationships & Family
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Posted by ardisanelson on October 11, 2012

https://ardisanelson.com/2012/10/11/celebrating-our-milestones/

Preparing for Mother’s Day

                Except for sending flowers and a card to my mother for Mother’s Day in years past, my Mother’s Day focus has mostly been on spending time with my immediate family—my spouse and two sons.  That was until two years ago.  That was the last time I saw my mother alive—Mother’s Day 2010.  Since that time Mother’s Day has much more significance to me. 

                My mother had a nervous breakdown when I was six years old radically changing the trajectory of my life.  From that point on the messages I received were to avoid being like my mother.  For the most part I learned to stuff my emotions for fear that I would be labeled “crazy” like her.  Her mental illness led to her absence in my life in many ways.  Growing up she was mostly absent emotionally and then when I entered adulthood, I chose to disconnect from her physically as well.
                But two years ago, God laid it on my heart to visit my mother one last time.  I had visited her twice in the previous six months to care for her after a debilitating stroke left her paralyzed on the right side of her body and unable to speak.  This visit was even more painful than the other visits and I feared this was going to be the last time I would see her alive.
               Preparing for Mother's Day It is hard for me to believe that visit was two years ago.  My life is radically different now, including the way I prepare for and celebrate Mother’s Day.  That is because in the process of losing my mother, I was blessed with the gift of emotional and spiritual healing.  As a result, I have gotten in touch with parts of my identity that I had denied and suppressed for years.  I tend to think that the way I am now is similar in many ways to how my mother would’ve been had she not suffered that nervous breakdown all those years ago.  I am grateful for recognizing that I AM wired like her.  It is part of the legacy that she left me and makes me very grateful for her on Mother’s Day.
                Another major way that my Mother’s Day celebrations have changed is that I share this special day with Rosa in Spain.  Rosa is the mother of Pedro, the exchange student we had in our home the last two summers.  Rosa and I lost our mothers within three weeks’ time in a way that has connected us like sisters.  Mother’s Day in Spain is one week earlier than in the United States which means I have to plan way in advance.  This year I even enlisted Pedro’s help to buy flowers for Rosa from me.  It is very touching to now have this mother to mother connection—especially since we have never physically met.
                One last thought about preparing for Mother’s Day.  Last night during the women’s open share time in our recovery meeting, I asked the attendees to each share something that they are grateful for with their mother’s or with their own mothering.  In the past, I think it would’ve been hard for me to answer that question.  It’s not that I resented my mother or blamed her for the lack of nurturing and guidance.  Those things were out of her control and were not intentional.  But sometimes it’s hard to be grateful in the midst of pain and sorrow. 
Answering this simple question last night gave each of us an opportunity to practice gratitude—a necessary recovery tool that helps to take us out of our victim mentality and look for the positive in life situations.  It was a blessing to hear each woman share a nugget that made them grateful in this way.
                I personally have a tremendous amount to be grateful for in my own recovery journey.  It has positively changed my own mothering skills, it helped to push me out of my comfort zone to care for my mother at the end of her life and now it has helped me to reach across the world to celebrate Mother’s Day with my sister Rosa. 
               What are you grateful for this Mother’s Day?   
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by ardisanelson on May 11, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Healing & Recovery, Identity, Relationships & Family
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Posted by ardisanelson on May 11, 2012

https://ardisanelson.com/2012/05/11/preparing-for-mothers-day/

Expanding My Spanish Circle of Friendship

               Do you ever have those moments in your life when you are just so full of gratitude and can’t believe how perfectly ordained an event could be?  I have had so many of those over the past year that I have started to document them in my writing.  They give me goose bumps or “God bumps” as I call them, every time I think of them.  Last week I had another one of those special moments.
                The story began a few months ago when I started to accept the fact that in order to really tell the story that God has put on my heart to write, that I would have to meet Rosa, the mother of the Spanish foreign exchange student we had in our home two summers ago.  I always knew I would meet Rosa face to face.  But now God was telling me that it wasn’t just my story to tell.  He wanted me to see this from Rosa’s perspective too.
                I had no idea how I was going to be able to do this or if Rosa would even be open to sharing that with me.  And after all, we do not speak the same language.  When I expressed my desire to Rosa, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that she was already learning English.  So our goals were totally in sync.  Now Rosa is learning English so that when we meet our communication will be unhampered.  And I am writing the story from my perspective in preparation to meet with her someday. 
                Someday … writing a book is no small task though and I knew (know) that I would need a deadline to keep me moving on this major project.  And then there was also the concern about where to get the money.  When the sales of Pedro’s CD didn’t materialize like I had hoped, I asked God for an answer.  That is when he gave me the perfect response.
                One day when I was looking through my jewelry box, I came across my mother’s wedding ring.  It was a vintage style white-gold diamond ring from my step-father that she had given me several years ago.  I had forgotten I had it.  Immediately when I saw it, I felt God give me a nudge to sell the ring.  I initially wondered if I’d be able to part with it, but I totally sensed that my mother would be thrilled at the idea.  I felt her smiling at me from beyond.  She wanted me to go to Spain.  She knew how important this trip would be for me.  I also knew that selling the ring would be part of this story.
                Two months later and the ring still sat in my jewelry box.  I knew I would have to get the ring appraised and I started to wear it so that I could drop it off at a jeweler.  One day while on an outing with my friend Linda, she noticed the ring and asked me about it.  I told her I was selling it to get to Spain.  She immediately told me she wanted to buy the ring.  I was shocked and only took her half seriously.  But the ring fit perfectly on her finger.  She insisted that she really loved the ring and wanted to buy it.  Linda had just received her Washington State mental health license and wanted the ring to acknowledge this accomplishment.  As a single woman she also wanted this ring to signify that Jesus is her husband.
                This was just too coincidental to not be a sign from God.  The reason I need to go to Spain is because of the healing I received when my mother passed away.  The story of this healing is connected with Rosa and with Spain.  And now my dear friend wanted to buy the ring.  I knew my mother would be so happy.  The ring wasn’t just going to be sold, it was going to be cherished and worn by my friend as a reminder of her love for Jesus.
                Now all that remained was the appraisal and selling of the ring.  I wanted enough to cover the airfare to Madrid during the peak summer season, but I had no idea of the value of the ring.  I prayed about it and released the outcome to God.  Last week I took the ring in to be appraised.  I was overwhelmed with delight and tears of joy when the ring appraisal covered the cost of my ticket to Spain!
                So I can confidently now say that I really am going to Spain.  I am planning a trip in the summer of 2013.  That gives me one year (that’s the deadline I needed) to write the manuscript—my detailed side of the story.  It gives Rosa one year to learn English—and with a little luck I can work on my Spanish a bit too. 
                What is so cool about this story is that it doesn’t really feel like I gave up my mother’s ring.  It feels more like I am investing in my Spanish circle of friendship.  My best friend received a ring she adores, she has a connection to my mother and is now a key player in this amazing story that God is weaving across 5300 miles to Spain.  And, just like my mother, Linda will be there in spirit with me next summer.
It gives me “God bumps” again just to think about it.
Update January 16, 2013 ~ My tickets are purchased. I will be in Spain for 6 weeks in the summer of 2013, exploring and writing about this story.
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by ardisanelson on April 24, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, My Spanish Connection, My Writing Journey, Relationships & Family
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Posted by ardisanelson on April 24, 2012

https://ardisanelson.com/2012/04/24/expanding-my-spanish-circle-of-friendship/

Waiting on Pins and Needles

               The days were slowly passing by since I sent my manuscript off to the publisher on December 1.  At first I put the entire idea of being published out of my mind.  I had gone away for a weekend to write the manuscript and put so much of my normal family and life commitments on hold as I worked toward the manuscript deadline.  So naturally after I sent the manuscript into the publisher, I felt a tremendous sense of relief.  I met my goal.  I wrote the story.  I celebrated.  Then I filed it in the back of my brain and jumped into the thick of the holiday season.
                Then one week passed by, 2 weeks, 3 weeks.  As Christmas approached I hoped that maybe there would be a Christmas gift in my email.  On December 22, I did receive an email from the publisher.  The subject line read: Christmas Gift from Cladach.  My heart skipped a beat.  I opened the email with much anticipation only to be immediately let down by the reality that this was a marketing email to announce a free e-book that the publisher was offering.  It was a nice Christmas promotional idea, but my hopes were dashed.
And there it was again—right in the front of my mind.  This email seemed to trigger all of my doubts about going down this path and if I really could be a writer.  I had put myself out there.  I had written what was on my heart to write—the story that I felt God calling me to write—and it came back void.  I felt exposed.  I was already in a writer’s funk and not writing on my blog.  There was nothing I could physically do about it, so I worked on letting go of my fears and doubts emotionally again.
The New Year brought renewed hope for me.  I attended my monthly Christian Writer’s meeting and started to think about setting some writing goals for 2012.  I decided to hold on to the belief that this piece would be published this year—if not by this publisher then by another.  So many people had witnessed this story unfold and told me how amazing it was.  So many people had been inspired by it.  So many people said they couldn’t wait to read about it.  God was definitely telling me to pursue it.  I trusted Him with this story and again put it in the back of my mind.
As a beginning writer, I was learning how difficult the waiting part of this process was.  I definitely wasn’t looking forward to the potential rejection that commonly follows.  I knew that the two month milestone would be pivotal to me.  It is at that point, that a writer usually contacts the publisher if they haven’t heard.
A few days before the two month anniversary, I watched the movie “The Help” again.  The first time I saw it, I was just starting to see myself as a writer, so Skeeter’s journey to become a writer really resonated with me.  This time around I watched the bonus feature about the making of the movie.  The bonus video clip told the story about how the book debuted on the New York Times Bestseller list and the impact it had on Kathryn Stockett, the author’s, life.  She was with friends when she got the news and immediately they marked this moment in time (with a toast) as an event that would forever change her life.  I got goose bumps when I saw this video clip.  I sensed that I was moving toward this event in my life too.  I felt encouraged and wrote about this in my journal.  I felt poised for success.  I was on pins and needles.
The following day, the much anticipated contact from the publisher arrived.  The subject of the email was the reply (RE) to the original email I sent with my manuscript.  I knew as soon as I saw it that it was the long awaited answer.  I let out a scream and held back on opening the email.  I received it as I was on my way to an appointment. I delayed opening the email until later in the day when I wasn’t so rushed.  After I returned from my appointment, I prepared myself by spending some time in prayer and surrendering the outcome to God. 
The email reply was short—just one line.  I immediately thought it was a rejection.  I had a friend on speaker phone with me to share this moment.  I read the line silently and then began screaming—and crying. 
“What, what, what?” my friend asked.  “What does it say”?
“They’ve accepted my story!” I shouted through tears of joy.  “They are sending a contract!”  My sheer joy elicited excitement from her as well.  The house was filled with a mixture of shouts, laughter, and tears.  My son rushed downstairs to find out what all of the commotion was about.  He thought that something terrible had happened.  I told him the good news and held him in a big hug for a long time letting all of the emotion release from my body.
This excitement was followed by emails to the publisher, my husband, my prayer partners, my writing teacher, and of course, Rosa and Pedro in Spain.  Later that evening, I attended my regular support group meeting and let the tears flow some more.  The timing was so perfect with the anniversary of my mother’s passing just one week away.  This day was also the 8-year anniversary of the devastating event that led me to start recovery in the first place.  God had perfectly redeemed this day for me into something with such a positive nature.
The icing on the cake that night was celebrating and toasting this occasion with my friend at her house.  It was like déjà vu.  Just like Kathryn Stockett, the author of “The Help,” my life was taking a potentially dramatic change.  We were marking this date as a milestone in my life and thanking God for His blessing.
Toasting the acceptance of my manuscript with a friend, January 2012.

Toasting the acceptance of my manuscript with a friend, January 2012.

I know my writing isn’t Pulitzer quality and that I am only one of eight authors in this book.  I also know that this was only possible because it is God’s will.  My waiting for this news wasn’t just something that was two months in the making.  This is part of the bigger story about how God redeems years of heartache, depression and loneliness.  It is the restoration for the years that the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). 
The really cool thing about this is that this story is not done yet.  God is at work in my life.  He is at work in Spain.  He is at work in the Protestant Church and the Catholic Church.  God is at work all around us.  He is for our good if we surrender to His will.  That is the message of this story.
I’m no longer on pins and needles about the publishing of my manuscript.  However I am still on pins and needles on what lies ahead.  It is a quiet tension inside of me that I need to get used to as I live a life where I often struggle to put God first.  When I do, He is graciously waiting for me.
Update 8/24/2012: My story, “Walking My Mother Home”, was released in “Journeys to Mother Love” by Cladach Publishing. Autographed copies are available on my site.
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by ardisanelson on February 20, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, My Spanish Connection, My Writing Journey
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Posted by ardisanelson on February 20, 2012

https://ardisanelson.com/2012/02/20/waiting-on-pins-and-needles/

My Spanish Connection – Introducing Pedro González Arbona

Those who know me well know that I have undergone some dramatic changes in my life over the last year.  It all started with the opening up of our home to an exchange student from Spain in July 2010, Pedro Gonzalez Arbona.  Pedro and his parents are like family to us now.  Even though his mother Rosa does not speak English, we are like sisters.  We have gotten to know each other very well over this past year as we communicated via online translators. 
We have both had a difficult year with the passing of our mothers.  But God was merciful to us as we were able to comfort and encourage each other in preparation for the inevitable.  He blessed us with some miraculous healing as our mothers entered eternity just three weeks apart. 
Another one of the ways that our families connected is through our love of music.  Pedro was initially placed in our home because he plays the piano.  What we didn’t know at the time was that Pedro was actually a budding composer.  In fact when he played his music in our home that first summer, he played some of those pieces, but didn’t let on that he had composed them.
Six months after Pedro left, he sent us a link to a youtube video for a song he composed, “Seattle“, and dedicated it to our family.  This was the first clue we had to this young man’s talent.  Over the next few months, Pedro continued to compose new songs and sent them to us.  Each time he did, I became more and more convinced that his music needed to be shared with a broader audience.
When Pedro returned to Seattle this past summer, in celebration of his 18th birthday, we took him to a recording studio to produce his first CD, ‘Introducing Pedro Gonzalez Arbona.’   We recorded 13 of his 18 original compositions.  Pedro’s songs are inspired by the events and travels in his life.  They range from beautiful melodies based on his travels to Rome and Paris to songs that celebrate and memorialize some of the key milestones in his life thus far—from the painful reality of losing 10 teachers from his school after the Al Qaeda train bombing in Madrid when he was 11 to the joyful completion of his university entrance exams at 17 this past June.
Ardis introduces Pedro at his American debut, June 2011

Ardis introduces Pedro at his American debut, June 2011

Pedro is also an avid cinema buff—American and European—and his music definitely reflects that as well.  His favorite composer is Hans Zimmer who composed soundtracks to such major motion pictures as Inception, The Lion King, Sherlock Holmes and the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.  Pedro recently got noticed by Hans Zimmer through the aid of twitter after Pedro sent him a link to one of his compositions, “Portman.”   Hans Zimmer responded that the piece had a beautiful melody and that Pedro had a future in composing scores.  That is high praise for any musician to receive let alone an 18-year-old who is just starting out.

As Pedro’s ‘American manager’, a term he jokingly coined for me, I am inviting my friends and family to give your ears (and eyes) a treat by viewing and listening to some of Pedro’s music on youtube.com.  (Do a search on his name or click on one of the above links.)  If you like it, please share the link on your Facebook page.  His CD is now available for purchase also.  Soon it will be on itunes, Spotify and Amazon to download as well.  The CD cost is $12.50 for one or two for $20, plus $5 shipping, if necessary.  To purchase a copy of his CD, you can contact me directly or email ardis@pgarbona.com.
Introducing Pedro González Arbona, Pedro's debut CD

Introducing Pedro González Arbona, Pedro’s debut CD

I am not doing this for profit though.  It is a labor of love.  All proceeds are going to a fund for a trip to Spain so that Rosa and I can meet face to face instead of just virtually on skype.  I know that day will come.  Rosa is learning English in preparation for it and I am managing Pedro’s American music endeavors.  (Pedro is studying law and business administration at a university in Madrid where his real career goals lie.)
I never imagined I’d be going down this road in my life.  I never imagined I’d have family in Spain either.  I was pretty content in my own little corner of the world.  But the events of this past year have been a testimony to God’s healing and mercy if we surrender to His will.  It is proof that there are no geographical, language, religious or cultural barriers that God cannot break down.  For me all it took was accepting the invitation to open our home to a young man from Spain and choosing to invest in him and his family.  
What about you?  Where is God calling you to invest in someone or stretch yourself outside of your comfort zone?  You’ll never know the opportunities that await you unless you take those bold steps of faith and follow His will.
5/1/2012 Update: Pedro’s music is now available online through itunes, Amazon.com, Zune, Spotify and various other music websites.  His music can also be downloaded through his Facebook Store.  Physical CDs can be purchased at CDBaby.com.
8/3/2014 Update: I visited Spain and met Rosa in the summer of 2013. It was the trip of a lifetime, 6 weeks on a reciprocal sort of exchange program. You can read about my travels starting here. Pedro and I devoted many hours to his musical projects while I was there. Hans Zimmer was right about Pedro. He has gone on to compose for several movie projects including his latest American film score to Tempting Fate. You can find out more about the music of Pedro Gonzalez Arbona on The Music pages on my site, check out pgarbona.com, or like his Facebook page, Pedro Gonzalez Arbona, Composer.
On the red carpet with Pedro at the premiere of "Tempting Fate", July 2014.

On the red carpet with Pedro at the premiere of “Tempting Fate”, July 2014.

 

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by ardisanelson on October 24, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in My Spanish Connection, Pedro's Musical Pursuits, Relationships & Family
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Posted by ardisanelson on October 24, 2011

https://ardisanelson.com/2011/10/24/my-spanish-connection-introducing-pedro-gonzalez-arbona/

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    I'm an author, writer, speaker, mentor & mom. I've struggled to find my voice all my life as I lived in the shadows of a mother with mental illness. Thankfully that was not the legacy that she handed down to me. It took a lot of recovery and deep healing work to rise above it.

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