All posts tagged hope

Naughty or Nice in the New Year?

 As the year comes to a close and I start to think about 2013, I have been pondering what I need to change in my life.  The question that keeps coming to mind is have I been “naughty or nice” this past year.

Naughty or Nice?I had a good Christmas with my immediate family and friends.  2012 was an amazing year which fast-tracked me into the publishing industry.  There is no room for complaining.  All of this points to being “nice”.  (There are times I certainly don’t think I deserved it.)

However, my body is telling me otherwise.  It is fatigued.  It is sore.  My mind is mush.  I am emotionally and physically spent.  I can’t seem to bounce back like I thought I would.  I have been “naughty”—to my body—and it won’t cooperate with me.  A quick review of the past year brings the whys glaringly into my face.

A Busy Year

In January, I took on the role of trainer on the launch team of my church’s Celebrate Recovery ministry.  A few weeks later, my manuscript was accepted.  I continued in my ministry role despite significant obstacles for much of the year.  I also stepped down from my part-time responsibilities at my husband’s business.

I worked with the publisher to edit and market the book.  I launched my website, created my own marketing materials for the book and held an Open House in the fall.  In November, I devoted my time to NaNoWriMo and writing six chapters and over 30,000 words on my memoir.  On top of all this, I dealt with the passing of my father, the start of menopause and the search for answers to my son’s academic struggles in school.

I Am Not Invincible

What I tend to forget, because I hide it so well, is that I also have chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS) and fibromyalgia (FMS).  I’ve had them for years and am pretty good at keeping it a bay, if I listen to my body and take precautions.  (I went on medical leave from my job five years ago due to an environmental exposure and haven’t worked full-time since.)

With the physical drain comes mental fatigue and hence, my writing is also suffering.  I don’t want this blog to become my random thoughts on my life.  I want it to be a place of inspiration and transformation.  But in order to model vulnerability, I also need to acknowledge this bump in the road.

What Now?

I haven’t lost sight of who is in control of my life or that I have free will in it.  I know He is going to use this to help me refine my character and look to Him for answers on how He wants to use me.

Self Care Reminder2013 has so much potential for me with my trip to Spain and hopefully a side trip to speak in Paris.  Those are things I never dreamed possible.  For me to do them I need to re-evaluate my lifestyle, return to my spiritual and recovery disciplines and invest in some self-care.  I know God will reveal to me what is most important and He will transform my heart to accept His will in all this.  I am a grateful Believer and a recovering workaholic who struggles with pace of life.  (I needed that reminder.)

What about you?  Have you been naughty or nice this past year?  Which will you choose in 2013?  What are you going to do to change and move forward?

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by ardisanelson on December 29, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, Healing & Recovery, Spiritual Growth
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Posted by ardisanelson on December 29, 2012

https://ardisanelson.com/2012/12/29/naughty-or-nice-in-the-new-year/

Preparing for Mother’s Day

                Except for sending flowers and a card to my mother for Mother’s Day in years past, my Mother’s Day focus has mostly been on spending time with my immediate family—my spouse and two sons.  That was until two years ago.  That was the last time I saw my mother alive—Mother’s Day 2010.  Since that time Mother’s Day has much more significance to me. 

                My mother had a nervous breakdown when I was six years old radically changing the trajectory of my life.  From that point on the messages I received were to avoid being like my mother.  For the most part I learned to stuff my emotions for fear that I would be labeled “crazy” like her.  Her mental illness led to her absence in my life in many ways.  Growing up she was mostly absent emotionally and then when I entered adulthood, I chose to disconnect from her physically as well.
                But two years ago, God laid it on my heart to visit my mother one last time.  I had visited her twice in the previous six months to care for her after a debilitating stroke left her paralyzed on the right side of her body and unable to speak.  This visit was even more painful than the other visits and I feared this was going to be the last time I would see her alive.
               Preparing for Mother's Day It is hard for me to believe that visit was two years ago.  My life is radically different now, including the way I prepare for and celebrate Mother’s Day.  That is because in the process of losing my mother, I was blessed with the gift of emotional and spiritual healing.  As a result, I have gotten in touch with parts of my identity that I had denied and suppressed for years.  I tend to think that the way I am now is similar in many ways to how my mother would’ve been had she not suffered that nervous breakdown all those years ago.  I am grateful for recognizing that I AM wired like her.  It is part of the legacy that she left me and makes me very grateful for her on Mother’s Day.
                Another major way that my Mother’s Day celebrations have changed is that I share this special day with Rosa in Spain.  Rosa is the mother of Pedro, the exchange student we had in our home the last two summers.  Rosa and I lost our mothers within three weeks’ time in a way that has connected us like sisters.  Mother’s Day in Spain is one week earlier than in the United States which means I have to plan way in advance.  This year I even enlisted Pedro’s help to buy flowers for Rosa from me.  It is very touching to now have this mother to mother connection—especially since we have never physically met.
                One last thought about preparing for Mother’s Day.  Last night during the women’s open share time in our recovery meeting, I asked the attendees to each share something that they are grateful for with their mother’s or with their own mothering.  In the past, I think it would’ve been hard for me to answer that question.  It’s not that I resented my mother or blamed her for the lack of nurturing and guidance.  Those things were out of her control and were not intentional.  But sometimes it’s hard to be grateful in the midst of pain and sorrow. 
Answering this simple question last night gave each of us an opportunity to practice gratitude—a necessary recovery tool that helps to take us out of our victim mentality and look for the positive in life situations.  It was a blessing to hear each woman share a nugget that made them grateful in this way.
                I personally have a tremendous amount to be grateful for in my own recovery journey.  It has positively changed my own mothering skills, it helped to push me out of my comfort zone to care for my mother at the end of her life and now it has helped me to reach across the world to celebrate Mother’s Day with my sister Rosa. 
               What are you grateful for this Mother’s Day?   
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by ardisanelson on May 11, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Healing & Recovery, Identity, Relationships & Family
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Posted by ardisanelson on May 11, 2012

https://ardisanelson.com/2012/05/11/preparing-for-mothers-day/

Waiting on Pins and Needles

               The days were slowly passing by since I sent my manuscript off to the publisher on December 1.  At first I put the entire idea of being published out of my mind.  I had gone away for a weekend to write the manuscript and put so much of my normal family and life commitments on hold as I worked toward the manuscript deadline.  So naturally after I sent the manuscript into the publisher, I felt a tremendous sense of relief.  I met my goal.  I wrote the story.  I celebrated.  Then I filed it in the back of my brain and jumped into the thick of the holiday season.
                Then one week passed by, 2 weeks, 3 weeks.  As Christmas approached I hoped that maybe there would be a Christmas gift in my email.  On December 22, I did receive an email from the publisher.  The subject line read: Christmas Gift from Cladach.  My heart skipped a beat.  I opened the email with much anticipation only to be immediately let down by the reality that this was a marketing email to announce a free e-book that the publisher was offering.  It was a nice Christmas promotional idea, but my hopes were dashed.
And there it was again—right in the front of my mind.  This email seemed to trigger all of my doubts about going down this path and if I really could be a writer.  I had put myself out there.  I had written what was on my heart to write—the story that I felt God calling me to write—and it came back void.  I felt exposed.  I was already in a writer’s funk and not writing on my blog.  There was nothing I could physically do about it, so I worked on letting go of my fears and doubts emotionally again.
The New Year brought renewed hope for me.  I attended my monthly Christian Writer’s meeting and started to think about setting some writing goals for 2012.  I decided to hold on to the belief that this piece would be published this year—if not by this publisher then by another.  So many people had witnessed this story unfold and told me how amazing it was.  So many people had been inspired by it.  So many people said they couldn’t wait to read about it.  God was definitely telling me to pursue it.  I trusted Him with this story and again put it in the back of my mind.
As a beginning writer, I was learning how difficult the waiting part of this process was.  I definitely wasn’t looking forward to the potential rejection that commonly follows.  I knew that the two month milestone would be pivotal to me.  It is at that point, that a writer usually contacts the publisher if they haven’t heard.
A few days before the two month anniversary, I watched the movie “The Help” again.  The first time I saw it, I was just starting to see myself as a writer, so Skeeter’s journey to become a writer really resonated with me.  This time around I watched the bonus feature about the making of the movie.  The bonus video clip told the story about how the book debuted on the New York Times Bestseller list and the impact it had on Kathryn Stockett, the author’s, life.  She was with friends when she got the news and immediately they marked this moment in time (with a toast) as an event that would forever change her life.  I got goose bumps when I saw this video clip.  I sensed that I was moving toward this event in my life too.  I felt encouraged and wrote about this in my journal.  I felt poised for success.  I was on pins and needles.
The following day, the much anticipated contact from the publisher arrived.  The subject of the email was the reply (RE) to the original email I sent with my manuscript.  I knew as soon as I saw it that it was the long awaited answer.  I let out a scream and held back on opening the email.  I received it as I was on my way to an appointment. I delayed opening the email until later in the day when I wasn’t so rushed.  After I returned from my appointment, I prepared myself by spending some time in prayer and surrendering the outcome to God. 
The email reply was short—just one line.  I immediately thought it was a rejection.  I had a friend on speaker phone with me to share this moment.  I read the line silently and then began screaming—and crying. 
“What, what, what?” my friend asked.  “What does it say”?
“They’ve accepted my story!” I shouted through tears of joy.  “They are sending a contract!”  My sheer joy elicited excitement from her as well.  The house was filled with a mixture of shouts, laughter, and tears.  My son rushed downstairs to find out what all of the commotion was about.  He thought that something terrible had happened.  I told him the good news and held him in a big hug for a long time letting all of the emotion release from my body.
This excitement was followed by emails to the publisher, my husband, my prayer partners, my writing teacher, and of course, Rosa and Pedro in Spain.  Later that evening, I attended my regular support group meeting and let the tears flow some more.  The timing was so perfect with the anniversary of my mother’s passing just one week away.  This day was also the 8-year anniversary of the devastating event that led me to start recovery in the first place.  God had perfectly redeemed this day for me into something with such a positive nature.
The icing on the cake that night was celebrating and toasting this occasion with my friend at her house.  It was like déjà vu.  Just like Kathryn Stockett, the author of “The Help,” my life was taking a potentially dramatic change.  We were marking this date as a milestone in my life and thanking God for His blessing.
Toasting the acceptance of my manuscript with a friend, January 2012.

Toasting the acceptance of my manuscript with a friend, January 2012.

I know my writing isn’t Pulitzer quality and that I am only one of eight authors in this book.  I also know that this was only possible because it is God’s will.  My waiting for this news wasn’t just something that was two months in the making.  This is part of the bigger story about how God redeems years of heartache, depression and loneliness.  It is the restoration for the years that the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). 
The really cool thing about this is that this story is not done yet.  God is at work in my life.  He is at work in Spain.  He is at work in the Protestant Church and the Catholic Church.  God is at work all around us.  He is for our good if we surrender to His will.  That is the message of this story.
I’m no longer on pins and needles about the publishing of my manuscript.  However I am still on pins and needles on what lies ahead.  It is a quiet tension inside of me that I need to get used to as I live a life where I often struggle to put God first.  When I do, He is graciously waiting for me.
Update 8/24/2012: My story, “Walking My Mother Home”, was released in “Journeys to Mother Love” by Cladach Publishing. Autographed copies are available on my site.
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by ardisanelson on February 20, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, Identity, My Spanish Connection, My Writing Journey
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Posted by ardisanelson on February 20, 2012

https://ardisanelson.com/2012/02/20/waiting-on-pins-and-needles/

A Gift of Hope

When I think about the best Christmas gift I received as a kid, I immediately go back to the year I received my blue Schwinn ‘banana’ bike when I was nine years old.  I realize now that it must’ve been the last Christmas my family had together before my parent’s divorced.  
On that Christmas morning after the presents under the tree were all unwrapped, our parents directed us downstairs for a surprise.  As I entered the den, all I could see was the new ping pong table that was in the center of the room.  I didn’t even notice the new banana bike standing up on its kick-stand in the corner.  My parents had to point me in the direction of the bike.  Our Christmases were never extravagant, but I think this one was meant to be memorable for us as I suspect that the divorce may have been in the works.

Vintage Schwinn banana seat bike

Vintage Schwinn banana seat bike

That bike was my constant companion for several years.  It was the only real bike I ever had.  I never got a ten speed or some such fancy bike when I entered puberty.  My mother didn’t have money for things like that.  I had to be content with that two-speed bike with the normal pedal brakes—no handlebar brakes for me.  It wasn’t until I bought myself a bike at a garage sale a few years ago as an adult that I actually had a bike with more than two gears.
In today’s age of electronic games and gizmos, it is really hard to find a gift that has the ability to bring such vivid memories.  Today’s electronic devices become outdated within months sending us into our quest for the newest version or some type of upgrade.  That is why cell phone companies are so geared to their consumers signing up for long term contracts.  They want to sway us from leaving and hopefully create some brand loyalty.
Well, Christmas is over and my kids did score some of those electronic gadgets this year—a new Windows phone, ipod Touch, Nook and video games.  I, on the other hand, didn’t get any electronic gadgets.  I got some gifts that told me that my family was listening to my heart over the last year.  They knew exactly what I wanted—an airline ticket to Spain.  While I didn’t get that, one of my sons pointed out to me that I got a virtual trip to Spain.  I received a travel guide for Spain, a book to learn Spanish and a large suitcase for the trip.  It’s just a matter of time before that trip becomes a reality.  Until then I have my work cut out for me, learning Spanish and writing the story that has made Spain such an important part of my life this year.
While I’m hoping that my family’s Christmas gifts give them joy and happy memories beyond the next year, I know that my gifts will because they are an investment in a gift that is future dated.  Their gifts give me hope for that trip.  It helps me to focus on that goal and builds up the excitement and anticipation for what is yet to come.   Maybe that is what my parents wanted too—with that bike—to give me some hope or at least some temporary joy in the midst of the life-shattering reality that was to come.
Receiving these gifts of hope from my family, reminds me of what God gave us when He sent His Son.  It wasn’t a gift wrapped up under a Christmas tree.  It was wrapped in swaddling clothes in a manger.  When I focus on that gift and not my present circumstances, I’m able to get through the rough times.  It is a gift of hope.  I’ll take that kind of gift any day.
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by ardisanelson on December 29, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, My Spanish Connection, Relationships & Family
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Posted by ardisanelson on December 29, 2011

https://ardisanelson.com/2011/12/29/a-gift-of-hope/

Counting Words

I just returned from a weekend of solitude at a Christian camp all by myself so I could write a short story for publisher submission due in a few days.

“Have a nice time,” people would say when they heard about it.  “Really,” I would usually think to myself.  “A nice time? What is so nice about being locked up in a room by myself for over 48 hours to write.”

Nothing fancy, locked away in a lodge to write in solitude.

Nothing fancy, locked away in a lodge to write in solitude.

Prompted to Submit my Story

I was in fear.  I had backed myself into a corner with the deadline.  I had never done anything like this before.   And I had never submitted a story for publication either.  Needless to say I had lots of doubt.  But I was a woman with a mission.

I heard about this story submission after joining the Northwest Christian Writer’s Association a few months ago.  It was one of the first emails that I received as a member.  I knew as soon as I saw it that it was tailor-made for my story.  It was a story about mother/child healing.  But I didn’t act on it.

All of this writing stuff was so new to me.  I had just started my blog and was writing devotionals for my church.  Was I ready to take on a project where my writing would be competing against other writers?  I was sure that there were lots of writers with stories about healing.  After all, my story of healing was what led me down this writing path in the first place.

Committed to Write

As the deadline approached, a kept getting a nudge from God to submit my story.  Of course, then I argued with him.

“But what about my book?” I would ask him. “If I do this story, then I may never write my book.”  His loving response was to just trust Him and to stop questioning it.

Preparing for my writing retreat with prayer from friends.

Preparing for my writing retreat with prayer from friends.

So as I committed to do the writing and prepared to write, I received several confirmations that I really have lots of material for a book.  Writing this story submission was not going to detract from the bigger book.  In fact, I started to embrace the idea that regardless of the outcome, that my weekend of writing would be a step I needed to take in my quest to become a real writer and that none of my work would be wasted.

It was with that attitude that I sat down at my laptop at the camp this past weekend—alone and away from family on Thanksgiving weekend.  But I wasn’t totally alone.

Not All Alone

During one of my meals with the camp staff, I heard the story of a woman whose mother-in-law was just diagnosed with cancer.  They were in the process of deciding her course of treatment and weighing the options for quality of life.  The options were all very grave.  I almost started to cry as I had just finished writing about my mother’s illness and the quality of life choices we made for her.  “Thank you God,” I thought to myself for this kiss and confirmation that I am not alone in this.

The internet and cell phone were also available for me to reach out when I needed a break.  On a lighter note, I found out that Facebook now has the capability to do video calls.  I placed my first video call late one night.  Having some face time was a good break that gave me the momentum to write a few more hours into the early morning.

Aside from these few human interactions, my best companion I had over the weekend was God. He kept me out of my ‘head’ much of the time in my writing. Every day my devotional spoke words of confirmation and encouragement for my mission. It was the kiss that I needed each day to tackle this project.

A walk to stretch my legs and a friendly face to urge me on.

A walk to stretch my legs and a friendly face to urge me on.

Counting Words

The one place I couldn’t get my head out of my writing was with my word counts though. With a word limit of 5,000 to 10,000 words, I became very much aware of my word count to track my progress. I started the weekend with 2,000 words already written. By the end of the first day I was up to 4,600 words. By break time on Saturday night I was at 7,600 words—twice as many words as my recovery testimony. When I realized that, I was a bit overwhelmed by the magnitude of what I was doing. That writing took me over a month to write.

By the time I left the camp on Sunday afternoon my first full draft of the story was 9,188 words–right on target. Last night as I read the entire draft for the first time, I started to cry. It is a beautiful story. Someday I know it will be published. I have my friends to thank for their prayers and encouragement as I go down this road. Above all else, I am thankful that God is giving me His words to tell it.

And by the way, it really was a nice weekend.  Word count = 842, but who’s counting?

Update 8/24/2012: My story was accepted by Cladach Publishing in January 2012 and released in August of that year in “Journeys to Mother Love.”

Chapter 8 - Walking My Mother Home by Ardis A. Nelson

Chapter 8 – Walking My Mother Home by Ardis A. Nelson

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by ardisanelson on November 28, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by ardisanelson on November 28, 2011

https://ardisanelson.com/2011/11/28/counting-words/

Overtaken By Blessings

Yesterday I officially celebrated my 50th birthday with an anointed group of 12 dear friends.  It wasn’t really my 50th birthday as I turn 52 tomorrow.  That’s because two years ago when I was ‘supposed’ to be celebrating my 50th birthday with friends, some painful life circumstances intervened that pushed my celebration to a very low priority.

52 B-day 00036 5x7

My mother, JoAnn, whom I had rarely communicated with over the past few years, had a major stroke that left her partially paralyzed and virtually unable to communicate.  God was doing some major heart surgery on me as he called me to spend my ‘first’ 50th birthday at the feet of my mother.  It was very humbling and bittersweet.  She gave me life and now I sensed that I was giving it back to her.

JoAnn never recovered from that stroke and she never regained her voice.  Her life continued to deteriorate until the Lord finally took her home in February of this year.  So yesterday’s birthday celebration was my rescheduled 50th birthday party—my first birthday since she passed.

Yesterday’s party wasn’t a party in the traditional sense of fun and games or cake and ice cream.  It was a celebration with connecting hearts, inspiration, hope, tears and laughter too.  It was a celebration of life’s richness, healing and transformation.  It was a celebration of how God does turn our mourning into gladness—not just for me but for my new family in Spain as well.  It was my gratitude to God and the people in my life who have helped me carry my burden these past two years.

Joined via Skype by Pedro and Rosa from Spain.

Joined via Skype by Pedro and Rosa from Spain.

Today I embark on the start of a new journey and I am carrying a new burden.  It is the responsibility that God has placed on my heart to write this story.  It is not a small task.  It will require lots of discipline and the openness to relive and process all of the pain and the joy over and over again.  I know that God will see me through it.  My purpose is clear.

My devotional reading for yesterday, titled Overtaken By Blessings, couldn’t have been more appropriately timed by God: And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, because you obey the voice of the Lord your God. (Deuteronomy 28:2)  I have been overtaken by blessings.  I am on the mountain top.  While I know I can’t stay there, I can choose to carry His love for me in my heart and to gratefully remember that I am going down this path for Him—one day at a time.

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by ardisanelson on November 21, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, My Spanish Connection, My Writing Journey, Relationships & Family, Spiritual Growth
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Posted by ardisanelson on November 21, 2011

https://ardisanelson.com/2011/11/21/overtaken-by-blessings/

For the Love of Music

I love music!  I always have.  As I think back on my music ‘history’, I’ve realized that I have done some pretty crazy things for the love of music.

It started when I entered puberty.  It was at the height of the ‘era’ when Donny Osmond and his brothers were all the rage.  My bedroom wall was plastered with posters of Donny.  As an adult I still listen to his music.  I went to one of his concerts with my husband when we were young.  It was ‘dreamy’.  Like a true groupie, after the show I waited outside and got to shake Donny’s hand.  I swore I’d never wash that hand again.

Several years later I met Donny again and was on TV with him on ‘Northwest Afternoon’ in Seattle.  It was just one of those things that I had to do–to fulfill that ‘teenage’ dream.  I even have the occasion forever immortalized in my ‘music’ scrapbook.

When I went to college, I outgrew my Osmond phase, but not my love for music.  I became the music director at the college radio station where I got better acquainted with my future husband, the radio station manager.  Music is what brought us both together.  Although we have varying tastes, we both love music.

In recent years, my love of music has turned almost exclusively to contemporary Christian music.  I have many favorites like Stephen Curtis Chapman, Casting Crowns, Mercy Me, Third Day and Chris Tomlin.  I have seen them all in concert many times.  These concerts are not just concerts to me.  I love their music so much that they are generally more like a spiritual experience for me.  The music is inspiring and uplifting.  It is worshipful.

Casting Crowns

Casting Crowns

Mercy Me

Mercy Me

Over the last year, my music taste has taken on a whole new dimension.  Thanks to Pedro Gonzalez Arbona, my host son from Spain, I have taken an interest in modern piano—and Spanish music too.  Producing the CD of Pedro’s original piano compositions has opened up a whole new array of musical interests and pursuits for me.  Afterall, he reminds me that I am his American manager.

Spanish music

Last week, I was at the ‘Meet and Greet’ for Steven Curtis Chapman while he was performing in town.  My son Cameron and I attended with a friend who got free tickets because of her role in an adoption ministry. It wasn’t much of a ‘meet and greet’ as we shook his hand, he answered a question or two and was gone. But with my friend’s encouragement, Steven ended up with a copy of Pedro’s CD in his hands.  Afterwards, my son jokingly said to me, “I’ll never wash this hand.” Déjà vu.

Steven Curtis Chapman
Autographed concert poster
Backstage with SCC

And then tonight a similar situation presented itself.  I have been researching how to make Pedro’s music more available online.  That research took me to the Jim Brickman concert.  I barely knew who Jim Brickman was a few months ago–and only then because I knew that Donny Osmond had accompanied him on some songs.  As I’m preparing to get Pedro’s music available for sale online with itunes, Amazon and Spotify, I discovered how similar his music is to Jim Brickman’s.  So I met him tonight too and gave him one of Pedro’s CDs—all for the love of music.

With Jim Brickman

I have no idea if anything will happen because of these bold acts of blind faith that God has me pursuing. It runs totally parallel to the boldness I have been walking out in my journey with Christ this past year. All I can do is go where He leads me, and when things aren’t quite what I thought or I veer off course, pray that God gently leads me back on His path. Because ultimately it’s all for the love of Jesus.

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by ardisanelson on November 6, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, My Spanish Connection
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Posted by ardisanelson on November 6, 2011

https://ardisanelson.com/2011/11/06/for-the-love-of-music/

When Life Imitates Art

The entertainment industry is full of stories that glamorize life and give us the message that it is all about us.  I veer away from that kind of ‘entertainment’ whenever possible and instead seek out uplifting stories, stories that inspire or sometimes just head for a good old fashioned romantic comedy–but nothing raunchy. 

It is hard to find that kind of positive entertainment.  But when my movie and theater experiences start to connect with me in a deep way, I need to take notice.  That is what happened to me this past weekend.

anne-frank-diaryThe Diary of Anne Frank

First of all, I went to see The Diary of Anne Frank where a friend of mine was performing.  I wasn’t particularly drawn to the story.  I knew it would be moving and sad.  But I support my friends in this way whenever possible.  It is a small way I can invest in them.  I ended up taking my 14-year old son with me as well so he could write an essay for school.  It lent itself to some good conversation.

Besides the horrific story about the treatment of Jews by Hitler and Anne Frank’s dismal existence living in hiding, what struck me most about this story was about her writing.  Anne Frank kept a diary that was later used as the basis for the books, movies and plays about her ordeal.  She received the diary for her 13th birthday just before the family went into hiding. 

Initially Anne wrote that she kept the diary as a way to get things off her chest and never imagined that anyone would ever be interested in reading it.  While in hiding she heard a radio broadcast announcing that diaries and other important documents would be gathered after the war to preserve for future generations.  That was when she started to think like a writer and began the process of re-writing her diary to publish as a novel.  Of course she never got to see that happen, but she pursued her dream despite the uncertainty of her circumstances.

Why does this strike me so much?  Because over the past year, I have had two areas of writing that have come alive in me.  One is my journaling.  So much has happened to me this year, that if I didn’t journal about it I know my mind would lose it.  It is pivotal, life changing stuff. 

The second piece of writing that I have done is correspondence with a family in Spain.  Each step of the way God has lead me to communicate with this family about what has transpired, to encourage one another and to pray for one another.  The friendship and miracles that have occurred as a result of this connection is amazing.  Like Anne Frank, I know that these pieces of writing are the basis for a book. 

Secretariat

The other movie I saw was Secretariat, about the horse who won the Triple Crown in 1973.  It is another real-life story, but this one is very uplifting.  It is about pursuing something that you believe in.  Check out the trailer and see for yourself.

For me, what was so inspirational was that it was a woman, Penny Chenery, who did all this and she did it later in life.  She had amazing courage in the face of potential devastating financial losses and defeat.  She was pursuing something against all odds.  There is a tender scene toward the end of the movie when everything is on the line and she is privately talking to Secretariat at the stables.  She tells the horse that tomorrow’s results don’t really matter and that she has already won the race–referring to following her dream. 

That is what writing is to me.

Following my Dream

So I have a sense that viewing these theatrical events at this time in my life was intended to give me a message.  God can and does use even these kinds of venues to speak to us.  That is because the Holy Spirit is always with us.  It is up to us if we want to listen and follow His leading. 

This is totally new territory for me to navigate.  But that’s the way God operates.  I know that if I wasn’t being stretched, that I would just chalk it up to doing this on my own.  My goal in all of this is not to become famous, but to be used by God.  If He is in it, it will happen–in His timing and in His way.

Follow your dreams

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by ardisanelson on September 26, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Faith & Hope, My Writing Journey
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Posted by ardisanelson on September 26, 2011

https://ardisanelson.com/2011/09/26/when-life-imitates-art/

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