Wanting Versus Committing

Today I am a writer.  Yesterday I wanted to be a writer.  What’s the difference?  Commitment.

June 13, 2011, that is when I first ‘outed’ myself as a writer.  It was at a support meeting that I regularly attend where we share our struggles and encouragement through the ups and downs of life.  I made the decision to tell everyone I wanted to write a book.  That was a spiritual marker for me.  After I voiced my intent, God opened the door for several things to start aligning with that desire.

Exactly one week later, I was asked to be interviewed by Steve Arterburn, author of over 60 Christian books, founder of Women of Faith and host of the nationally syndicated Christian counseling radio program, New Life Live.  My interview was published on their monthly CD that goes out to supporters of this ministry.  It was through my writing a few months before that this even became possible.

Two weeks later, I was asked by my pastor’s wife to be on the church’s devotional team.  Again, it was through my writing that she even became aware of my desire.  After having our beloved adopted host son from Spain in our home for a month, I turned my attention to trying to write devotionals.  My first one was published the end of July.

Since that time I have started to feel and act like a writer–going to writing classes, attending writers meetings and journaling like crazy.  But there was no concrete writing on my book.  I was overwhelmed by the prospect–not knowing where to start, the structure for it and so on.

Then things started to align with my desire.  At the Northwest Christian Writer’s Association (NCWA) meeting earlier this month I purchased a book called The Seven Steps on the Writer’s Path.  I immediately started reading this book to see where I was on the steps–or even if I was on a step.  Afterall, if I was really a writer I needed to be able to see myself on a step.

It was easy to find myself.  I was in Step 2–WANTING.  I wanted to be a writer.  I was putting myself in the position to become a writer–except that the main reason I decided to take a leap of faith and give intentionality to my writing–to write my book–was not happening.  I knew what lie ahead–Step 3–COMMITMENT.

I didn’t want to read that chapter, but the more I sat in wanting, the more I knew I needed to.  I needed to see what was ahead and see if I could do what it took–and to get unstuck.  It was hard to read Step 3.  It was about the sacrifices that writers make and the changes that they need to put into place to make writing happen.  So that is what I am doing–making changes in my life that realign with my desire to write a book.

So on Saturday, October 15, 2011, I heeded to the voice in my head that gave me the place to start on my book.  Funny how it wasn’t at all in the realm of what I was thinking about over the past few weeks.  When I let go of where to start, God gave it to me.  It was the introduction–why I am writing this book.  Once I wrote that the next piece just seemed to flow.

I only have a vague idea what I am doing with this, but at least it is a start.  I am thrilled.  I am elated.  I am scared.  I am nervous.  These are all signs of being in Step 3, so that is a good thing.  I am honored that God would call me into this journey.  I’m praying that He will keep me focused on it and that it will glorify Him.  I am grateful to not be wanting any longer, but to be committing to this partnership with Him.

Where are you sitting in a state of wanting?  What is it going to take for you to commit to your goal?  Ask God to help you take the bold steps necessary to realign your life and commit to His purpose for your future.  And then watch God show up.

It Takes Courage

I finally got around to seeing the movie The Help last week.  When I saw the previews for it earlier in the summer, the thing that hit me most was the story about Skeeter’s desire to be a writer.  Even from the trailer when you hear Skeeter receiving advice on the phone from an editor, you can sense that this was going to be a gripping story.  The editor told Skeeter to write about something that disturbs her–particularily if it bothers no one else.  And for me that is the foundational plot of this movie–taking the courage to do something that no one else will do.

Skeeter’s courage is initially based on her desire to write and get a job in New York.  Throughout the movie though you sense that her courage is fueled by her desire to expose the unfair treatment of the black household help in Jackson, Mississippi around the time of the Civil Rights Movement.  Aibileen is Skeeter’s primary source for her interviews.  When Skeeter asks her why she is willing to participate, after initially declining,  Aibileen says ‘God.’

The Help is a very moving story interspersed with humor and some tearful moments.  It is a story about redemption, following our heart and not letting our desire to be accepted or belong dictate what we do or believe.  It is much like our walk with Christ–or what a walk is supposed to look like.  God gives us the Holy Spirit to take those bold steps of courage.  It is up to us whether we will follow Him down a road that may seem scary or uncertain.

As I left the movie, the line that stood out most to me was when Skeeter’s mother told her that sometimes courage skips a generation (referring to her own inability to not cave in to peer pressure).  Then she tells Skeeter that she is proud of her.  I felt a sense of God’s love for me when I heard those words.

I can’t exactly say that courage skipped a generation in my family.  After the death of my mother earlier this year, one thing I have learned is that although she was mentally ill, she did have courage.  She persevered through years of psychiatric treatment.  Unfortunately I didn’t see it in those terms until recently.  Her courage and her faith has inspired me to be courageous too.

So as I start down this path of writing that God has placed in my heart, I will cling to His voice telling me that I am His beloved Daughter and that He is proud of me.

That is where my courage comes from.  What about you?

It takes courage

  • WELCOME to my site!

    I'm an author, writer, speaker, mentor & mom. I've struggled to find my voice all my life as I lived in the shadows of a mother with mental illness. Thankfully that was not the legacy that she handed down to me. It took a lot of recovery and deep healing work to rise above it.

    I am thankful to God for Making Me Bold in the process. Now I use my writing and speaking voice to help others on their journey to turn healing into hope.

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