Welcome to my inaugural update on my road to Spain.  The days are quickly passing by as the date of my arrival in Spain (June 24th) approaches, yet I haven’t made any fanfare on my blog or posted any updates since I bought my tickets in January.

Ninety Days

A few weeks ago when I hit the 90-day mark (during Holy Week), I felt like a huge burden had been placed on my shoulders and there would be no way I’d be ready in time.  As strange as it may seem, I had the sense that the 90 days remaining for me would be like Jesus road to Jerusalem.  Seriously!

I started to think about how so much psychology and health research touts the benefits of a 90-day program for things like diet or exercise changes, lifestyle changes, changing your thinking patterns, recovery and addiction rehabilitation, etc.  This led me to think about all the things I hadn’t done to prepare for my trip yet—the big things, preparing to speak while there, learning Spanish, researching Spain (culture, sights, food, etc.), losing weight and exercising.  It was way too much for me to think about.

So I frantically started to work simultaneously on these things.  There just didn’t seem to be much progress and the stress continued to mount.  Finally this week while in a time of dedicated prayer, I got a clear revelation from God.  It led to a huge shift in my attitude and felt like the weight of the world was taken off my shoulders.

Scope Creep

The easiest way I can explain it is to put it in terms like I would as a project manager.  It’s called ‘scope creep’.  That is when the scope of a project starts to go beyond its original intention.  (I guess God wanted to put it in terms I would understand.)  He brought me back to the original purpose or scope of my trip—to invest in people.  I am going to meet Rosa, to build relationship with my Spanish family and to write about it.

This isn’t a surprise to me, but what I realized in the process was that my speaking in Spain was sidetracking me from the goal.  Sure it would be amazing to share my story with others in Spain.  Sure it would be amazing to sell books, grow my platform or promote Pedro’s music while there.  (All the ‘shoulds’ a writer repeatedly hears about how to be successful.)  But that is not the purpose of this trip.  Those are incidental benefits.  As disappointing as it is, I am letting go of my desire to speak while in Spain.  Instead I am open to what God has in store for me there.

I don’t want any regrets about this trip of a lifetime.  I wouldn’t be going to Spain if it wasn’t for the miraculous events that happened between Rosa and me the year our mothers died.  I know God is using this story to touch others who have lost their parents or are seeking a second chance to restore relationship with a parent.  I trust that He will use this story in Spain as well—how and when the time is right—even if it’s just one person at a time.

The 10-Week Countdown Begins

Refocused

I know this story inside and out because I lived it.  It transformed me.  I am ready to go—even now.  My attention is turned back to getting my mind and body ready to take it all in—like any other normal tourist would do—including learning Spanish.  It is still a lot to do, but I feel refocused and realigned with my purpose.

And, yes, there is a crucifixion going on here.  It is the part of me that wants to do it all and have it under control.  But I promise, there won’t be any physical blood loss—just occasional moans or groans as I swallow my pride once again and learn to trust Him more fully.

So sit back, and enjoy the view as I travel on the road to Spain over the next ten weeks!