I just can’t seem to get in the Christmas spirit this year. Correction, I just can’t seem to stay in the Christmas spirit this year. I’ve had small glimpses of peace, but they’ve been very fleeting. I can’t quite figure out why that is. It’s not like I haven’t gotten things done. Maybe my problem is that I’m not giving myself any grace. After all, I did just write a manuscript and set up a website and online music sales for my Spanish son’s music.
I guess what bothers me is that I had so much help to get some of those things done this year. I’ve never needed help to put up the Christmas tree, decorate the office or buy and wrap the presents—even when I worked full time. But this year it’s like I’m on some other planet—the one that doesn’t stop for Christmas. There are no Christmas cookies baked and boxes of unopened Christmas decorations still sit in my garage. My poor car moans every time I start it as if to say, “Why have you abandoned me outside in the cold?” I want to apologize to it too and tell it I’m just too busy to make room for it.
And then there is the writer’s block that I seem to be experiencing. Or is it just that I’m too busy to write? I’m not quite sure, but after reading a blog post from one of my favorite authors earlier today, I felt ‘unblocked’. Her blog mentioned some of the same things that I am struggling with—the tension of what I’m supposed to be doing for the holidays versus the connecting times and also the writing ‘shoulds’. It was a relief to me to know that I am not alone with trying to prioritize my Christmas activities and still find peace. Her struggle gave me permission to write too.
This year has been a big transition year for me so it shouldn’t be such a surprise that I need to re-evaluate how I do Christmas too. The rules and traditions that I’ve had in place in the past don’t have to dictate what I do this year. I don’t need to put up every Christmas decoration I own. I don’t need to bake cookies. I do need to connect with my friends. I do need to spend time with my family. I do need to let people know how much they mean to me. I do need to relax and let go of so many expectations to have it all together.
So with Christmas Eve less than a day away, I’m choosing to shake off the ‘shoulds’ and finish the season with an attitude of gratitude. Even though we are dog-sitting for two other dogs over the holidays, that doesn’t mean I have to let my Christmas ‘go to the dogs’. I do have so much to be grateful for—the three men in my life, my extended family in Spain, my friends, and that God wants to use me in bigger and bolder ways than I ever thought was possible.
At Christmastime let’s remember that Jesus came to fulfill the law with grace and truth. So shouldn’t we be willing and able to give ourselves that same grace this holiday season? I don’t know about you, but I’m all in for that. Woof, woof! May His Peace be with you this blessed holiday!
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